Well, it sounds like it's ending about as amicably as one can do, amd that's *so* much better...

Be well. Take care of you and your dog.

Word of advice, do not married four times like my uncle did. Just get yourself LBFM and enjoy living.

As disappointing as it may be, so many persons find a better match for spouse #2. They may care about and be close to #1, but #2 is often a life long mate.

As my GF's grandmother said: "Do not always be looking for the right person. Try to be the best person you can, so when the right person comes along, you will be ready".

While I'm sorry to hear that, having been around several divorces and bad marriages, it's not all bad. It still sucks and will be hard for bit with some adjustment. It's good that there are no kids, as they usually come out the worst.

A divorce between amicable parties is FAR better than a bitter unhappy marriage. I'm glad that it's amicable. I know some divorcees that are still acquaintances and if not friendly toward each other.

Best wishes for you and on to new things!

Stay strong, process the situation, realize that divorce (even if amicable) can be a very traumatic experience and please get help to get over that if you need it, and live long and prosper.

quote:

Originally posted by Marlin Fan:
Word of advice, do not married four times like my uncle did. Just get yourself LBFM and enjoy living.

I very highly doubt I will ever remarry. I don't see any upsides over a long-term live-in girlfriend/"life partner", considering we wouldn't be having kids.

Could do basically everything a married couple could do as far as living together, loving and supporting each other, owning things together, being each other's beneficiaries, medical power of attorney, etc.

Plus you won't take the "marriage penalty" tax hit.

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:

quote:

Originally posted by Marlin Fan:
Word of advice, do not married four times like my uncle did. Just get yourself LBFM and enjoy living.

I very highly doubt I will ever remarry. I don't see any upsides over a long-term live-in girlfriend/"life partner", considering we wouldn't be having kids.

Could do basically everything a married couple could do as far as living together, loving and supporting each other, owning things together, being each other's beneficiaries, medical power of attorney, etc.

Plus you won't take the "marriage penalty" tax hit.

To be honest with you, to have a live in girlfriend or even a non live in girlfriend is nice. Having a non live in girlfriend is nice and I would prefer that, just me and the dog. Nobody complains about anything, you do what you want when you want. When you want the GF to come over for a few days you invite her over for a few days, otherwise just meet for dinner. You want to binge watch the new season of Narcos until 3am, and sleep in, no problem, you want to go to the range on Saturday afternoon, no problem, etc. etc. The dog's always happy to see you when you get home! Only having a girlfriend and living by yourself, is pretty darn nice actually.

Best thing to get through it is put any memories in a box and label it, leave them in the box for a much later date after you move. Focus on your hobbies, friends, movies, gun shows, range, buy a grill.....LOL

Sorry to hear that, but it looks like it will be quick and as painless as possible. I hope all goes well and you can move on quickly. Good luck!

Rogue, I wish you the best.

You mentioned it wasn't infidelity that led to the divorce. Are you comfortable sharing what happened (generally speaking)? I'm curious.

Sorry to hear, and I wish you the best. My wife and I are going through a bit of a rough patch ourselves, but our situation is more complicated than yours. I'm still not sure we'll be able to work out our issues.

quote:

Originally posted by Russ59:
You mentioned it wasn't infidelity that led to the divorce. Are you comfortable sharing what happened (generally speaking)? I'm curious.

Part of it was mutual changes in personality that led to frequent head-butting over every issue. We're both head-strong authority figures who are used to being in charge (cop and teacher), and the further we got into our careers the more that work authority mindset carried over to home life. It turned from love and teamwork into competition/arguing/winning/"being right"/"being in charge", which caused frequent conflict. We tried counseling, but didn't get much traction.

There was also some significant financial lies and obfuscation on her part. I posted about that about a couple years ago. Not sure if that thread is still around if you really want to dig it up. Basically, before we got married in 2010, the deal was that she had to be out of debt, other than normal car/home/college debt. In her previous marriage and the subsequent divorce she had racked up some personal debt due to a few bad decisions on her part plus her divorce share of her first husband's frequent very bad decisions (like claiming he was filing their taxes but not actually doing so for 10 years). At one point, she claimed to be out of debt. She appeared to be out of debt. So we got married. Then ~7-8 years in, I discovered that she wasn't actually out of debt after all. All she had done was consolidated/hidden her original debt into one massive 30k or so personal loan at a ridiculous interest rate. It wasn't until the bill collectors started calling me looking for her that I discovered what she had done. From that point on, the trust was gone.

That loss of trust further exacerbated the arguing, and then led to "in home separation" of separate bedrooms. We were basically roommates, initially trying to fix the loss of trust and personality issues, but then not trying so much, and then not trying at all, and then the realization that it wasn't fixable and this wasn't sustainable.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: RogueJSK,

Best of luck, hope things work out.

Hope both of you are better going forward

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:

quote:

Originally posted by Marlin Fan:
Word of advice, do not married four times like my uncle did. Just get yourself LBFM and enjoy living.

I very highly doubt I will ever remarry. I don't see any upsides over a long-term live-in girlfriend/"life partner", considering we wouldn't be having kids.

Could do basically everything a married couple could do as far as living together, loving and supporting each other, owning things together, being each other's beneficiaries, medical power of attorney, etc.

Plus you won't take the "marriage penalty" tax hit.

Also known as, "Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free!"

One of my cousins is a retired NC Trooper. He’s currently on marriage 3 or 4. Funny thing is, first and current wife are the same woman. It’s bizarre how right they are for each other now.

wish you the best man

sounds like you have it under control

keep your head up and positive during the transition

-----------------------------------------

Welcome to the club.

I got divorced 12 years ago and absolutely will never remarry.

Sorry to hear about the situation. I'm glad that things are going amicably.

Rogue, amicable or not, it's probably still nothing pleasant.
Sorry.

I am sorry for what you are going through, RogueJSK. I wish you both the best.