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Drill Here, Drill Now
Picture of tatortodd
posted
Outstanding satire piece by the Christian satire site The Babylon Bee
quote:
Nation Repents Of Thanksgiving With Day Of Violent Pillaging



U.S.—Unable to fake contentment and thankfulness for one more second, citizens across the nation awoke Friday and immediately set out on a frenzied mission to violently pillage and strip bare all nearby retail locations, determined to acquire any discounted goods they desired, by any means necessary, numerous reports confirmed.

Pillagers beat each other with various weapons and instruments, wrestled on the floor like animals, and even exchanged gunfire in some locations, all in the name of taking hold of material goods they desired.

Sources confirmed that the unfettered violence occurred less than 24 hours after these same people sat around tables with family and friends, over large meals, and gave thanks for the many blessings in their lives.

“12 hours of gratefulness annually is way too much for the majority of humankind to stomach,” experts revealed amidst the day’s chaos. “What we see on Black Friday is just human nature’s standard, guttural reaction to the annual tradition of acting like the world does not revolve around them for one whole day.”



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 23249 | Location: Northern Suburbs of Houston | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
crazy heart
Picture of mod29
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Idiots. Roll Eyes
 
Posts: 1781 | Location: WA | Registered: January 07, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
goodheart
Picture of sjtill
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quote:
Idiots.


It is satire.


_________________________
“ What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.”— Lord Melbourne
 
Posts: 18064 | Location: One hop from Paradise | Registered: July 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Festina Lente
Picture of feersum dreadnaught
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quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Idiots.


It is satire.


Is it? Roll Eyes



NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught"
 
Posts: 8295 | Location: in the red zone of the blue state, CT | Registered: October 15, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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quote:
Originally posted by feersum dreadnaught:
quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Idiots.


It is satire.


Is it? Roll Eyes

It's very good satire, because it hits so close to the truth. In some cases it is the truth. I don't do Black Friday, not even online.
 
Posts: 27951 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Sad but true.

Black Friday, skip it, with four days off, I'm not going to waste it by combat-shopping. I'm going on a hike or, a bike ride, gotta work-off the dinner.
 
Posts: 14653 | Location: Wine Country | Registered: September 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Muzzle flash
aficionado
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I just visited my Best Friend again today at the site where he was pulling a 12-hour security gig. I bought tacos for us and we ate them together. That was the extent of my outing on Black Friday.

Tomorrow I may venture out to purchase a few more new Christmas lights, and will probably try to put some of my many lights in place (I don't "do" ladders so I have to only do the displays that are near the ground--my Handyman puts up the rest, and he's coming Monday, I think).

flashguy




Texan by choice, not accident of birth
 
Posts: 27902 | Location: Dallas, TX | Registered: May 08, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
crazy heart
Picture of mod29
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Idiots.


It is satire.


Yes, it's satire.
My comment was for the people that engage in Black Friday mayhem, camping out to be first in line when the stores open, pushing and shoving their way to the goods, etc. Sad.
 
Posts: 1781 | Location: WA | Registered: January 07, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Telecom Ronin
Picture of dewhorse
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In NTX it's antlerless weekend, the only violence I will experience is hopefully a 6.8spc hitting the 10 pt that has been doing the " nana nana boo boo" dance.
 
Posts: 8301 | Location: Back in NE TX ....to stay | Registered: February 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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What bothers me even more was the stores that were opening on Thanksgiving itself. There were stores opening at noon and 2pm on Thanksgiving for “Pre-Black Friday” sales. Forcing their workers to come in instead of being to celebrate with their families. THat type of behavior by a store makes me seriously consider never shopping there.
 
Posts: 2155 | Location: NC | Registered: January 01, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Political Cynic
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looks like the Best Buy in Scottsdale



[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC


 
Posts: 53177 | Location: Tucson Arizona | Registered: January 16, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Lawyers, Guns
and Money
Picture of chellim1
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quote:
Originally posted by dewhorse:
In NTX it's antlerless weekend, the only violence I will experience is hopefully a 6.8spc hitting the 10 pt that has been doing the " nana nana boo boo" dance.

10 pt... antlerless?



"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible."
-- Justice Janice Rogers Brown

"The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth."
-rduckwor
 
Posts: 24108 | Location: St. Louis, MO | Registered: April 03, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nosce te ipsum
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quote:
Originally posted by chellim1:
10 pt... antlerless?


Hitting the "ten-ring" ... x-ring

Price is irrelevant if it is an item I do not need. I'd rather work less than acquire more.
 
Posts: 8759 | Registered: March 24, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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