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Nation Repents Of Thanksgiving With Day Of Violent Pillaging
November 23, 2018, 01:57 PM
tatortoddNation Repents Of Thanksgiving With Day Of Violent Pillaging
Outstanding satire piece by the Christian satire site The Babylon Bee
quote:
Nation Repents Of Thanksgiving With Day Of Violent Pillaging 
U.S.—Unable to fake contentment and thankfulness for one more second, citizens across the nation awoke Friday and immediately set out on a frenzied mission to violently pillage and strip bare all nearby retail locations, determined to acquire any discounted goods they desired, by any means necessary, numerous reports confirmed.
Pillagers beat each other with various weapons and instruments, wrestled on the floor like animals, and even exchanged gunfire in some locations, all in the name of taking hold of material goods they desired.
Sources confirmed that the unfettered violence occurred less than 24 hours after these same people sat around tables with family and friends, over large meals, and gave thanks for the many blessings in their lives.
“12 hours of gratefulness annually is way too much for the majority of humankind to stomach,” experts revealed amidst the day’s chaos. “What we see on Black Friday is just human nature’s standard, guttural reaction to the annual tradition of acting like the world does not revolve around them for one whole day.”
Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity
DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer. November 23, 2018, 02:04 PM
mod29Idiots.
November 23, 2018, 03:03 PM
sjtillquote:
Idiots.
It is satire.
_________________________
“Remember, remember the fifth of November!"
November 23, 2018, 03:52 PM
feersum dreadnaughtquote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Idiots.
It is satire.
Is it?
NRA Life Member - "Fear God and Dreadnaught"
November 23, 2018, 07:37 PM
egregorequote:
Originally posted by feersum dreadnaught:
quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Idiots.
It is satire.
Is it?
It's very
good satire, because it hits so close to the truth. In some cases it
is the truth. I don't do Black Friday, not even online.
"The Almighty, He put some livin' things on this earth so a man can eat." - Festus Haggen, Gunsmoke November 23, 2018, 08:00 PM
corsairSad but true.
Black Friday, skip it, with four days off, I'm not going to waste it by combat-shopping. I'm going on a hike or, a bike ride, gotta work-off the dinner.
November 24, 2018, 01:17 AM
flashguyI just visited my Best Friend again today at the site where he was pulling a 12-hour security gig. I bought tacos for us and we ate them together. That was the extent of my outing on Black Friday.
Tomorrow I may venture out to purchase a few more new Christmas lights, and will probably try to put some of my many lights in place (I don't "do" ladders so I have to only do the displays that are near the ground--my Handyman puts up the rest, and he's coming Monday, I think).
flashguy
Texan by choice, not accident of birth November 24, 2018, 02:13 AM
mod29quote:
Originally posted by sjtill:
quote:
Idiots.
It is satire.
Yes, it's satire.
My comment was for the people that engage in Black Friday mayhem, camping out to be first in line when the stores open, pushing and shoving their way to the goods, etc. Sad.
November 24, 2018, 05:09 AM
dewhorseIn NTX it's antlerless weekend, the only violence I will experience is hopefully a 6.8spc hitting the 10 pt that has been doing the " nana nana boo boo" dance.
November 24, 2018, 07:16 AM
barndg00What bothers me even more was the stores that were opening on Thanksgiving itself. There were stores opening at noon and 2pm on Thanksgiving for “Pre-Black Friday” sales. Forcing their workers to come in instead of being to celebrate with their families. THat type of behavior by a store makes me seriously consider never shopping there.
November 24, 2018, 07:24 AM
nhtagmemberlooks like the Best Buy in Scottsdale
[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC
November 24, 2018, 07:55 AM
chellim1quote:
Originally posted by dewhorse:
In NTX it's antlerless weekend, the only violence I will experience is hopefully a 6.8spc hitting the 10 pt that has been doing the " nana nana boo boo" dance.
10 pt... antlerless?
"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible."
-- Justice Janice Rogers Brown
"The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth."
-rduckwor November 24, 2018, 07:59 AM
Woodmanquote:
Originally posted by chellim1:
10 pt... antlerless?
Hitting the "ten-ring" ... x-ring
Price is irrelevant if it is an item I do not need. I'd rather work less than acquire more.