A little back story on my topic....

My wife, Sandy, was admitted to the ER September 5th of this year with abdominal pain. It had kept her up all night and had the pain off and on for a couple weeks but did not mention it to me. After running all sorts of diagnostics, MRI, CT scans, and an ultrasound they found a mass on her pancreas. They feared that it was cancer they scheduled her for a biopsy a couple days later.

Biopsy came back negative, but they diagnosed her with precancer of the pancreas. She was a candidate for the Whipple procedure and was scheduled for October 16th to have the surgery.

We arrive at the hospital on the 16th, they prep her in preop and she was to be in surgery for about 6 hours. With in 2 hours the surgeon comes in to the waiting room looking for me to tell me that they found a mass on her liver and that she is in Stage 4 cancer and has maybe a year to live.

Her sister arrived about twenty minutes later and her and I went to into to recovery to let her know the devastating news. First the doctor tells her that the Whipple was stopped and the diagnosis. My wife, still a little out of it from the anesthesia, looks at me and asked that question, "Am I going to die?". At that moment my heart was completely ripped out of me. Time just stood still for like an eternity and I just said Yes.

She is 63 years old and pretty dang healthy her whole life. We are still in shock with the turn of events in the last couple months. Her first chemo was on November 8th and she is have a very tough time with the with the post chemo symptoms including depression.

We lost three of our dogs last year, two very suddenly, and that was beyond tough and still very emotional about all the loss to this day. We have been married for almost 18 years and have no children.

Right now I have no idea what our future will be. I guess prayers and positive vibes is all we can ask for now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: hapevo,

Prayers for you, your wife and family. God Bless.

I feel for you and your wife.

To your question, I think it's a mindset. Even in our 40s, my wife and I have been discussion what to do when the other one dies. We're set. We each have peace with God. Although, in 2017 when the doctors said I had lung cancer, I was ready; she wasn't. But it was a reality check for her.

We're in our mid sixties now. Yesterday, a niece 57 died suddenly from aneurysms, she was complaining of migraines throughout the week. Her dad, my older cousin is still alive. She has a older son who's about to go to college.

To answer your question, you tell her, "of course, not." She needs the mindset she will go through this. As she realizes what stage cancer she's in, be the strength she needs to go through what she needs to go through.

I don't know if you're people of faith but I'll be praying for you.

Wow. How do you answer a question like that? My prayers are with you and your family.

OMG I'm so sorry, hpevo! I had almost the same scenario with my wife of 41 years in January 2019, there is no way to describe it.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: ridewv,

Thoughts and prayers for you both!

Thoughts and prayers to your wife and you. Beyond words. God bless you both.

"That's up to God. But the doctors give you one year."

p.s. so sorry about this. Prayers sent.

you have my deepest condolences on what you're going through

I held my fiancee's hand as she was dying

hardest thing I've ever done but I am so very happy I had the opportunity to be there

you will get through it, but if you're like me, you will never get over it

Sorry for the bad news. Yes, you answered the question correctly.

I’m sorry you are going through this. Tomorrow marks two years since I lost my bride to cancer.
You and Sandy are in my prayers.

That sucks. I would fight like hell. Look into press-pulse therapy (Thomas Seyfried). Praying for her.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SigSentry,

I am without words.

I am so very sorry you are in this situation.

I will keep your family in my prayers.

Prayers offered for you both, sir.

Prayers sent.

I'm not married but if I were Id be speechless if I were faced with the same situation. Death no matter when it comes is difficult to process especially when you receive an unexpected diagnosis. The most important decision we will make in life is where we will spend eternity so perhaps now is the time for you and your wife to come into a relationship with Jesus Christ. Romans 10:9 Says if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and belive God raised Him from the dead you will be saved. It really is that simple, you don't have to build a rocket ship to the moon you just have to believe. Im always available if you'd like to know more. Praying for you and your wife because God is the God of miracles

Thoughts and prayers.

This hits home for me as my wife lost her mother to cancer in late 2011 and her husband more or less abandoned her to her fate. In the same scenario, my answer would be the same as yours. We would fight together to the very end and that end would be us growing old together. I would remind her that I remember my vows like they were promised yesterday and that they are immutable.

A few really close friends and their battles with cancer, and other bad things.

Yes, we’re all going to die.
We all know what the 1st chapter of our book is, and the last chapter…
It’s the chapters in between that makes the book so damn interesting, so fun, so meaningful.
Don’t focus on the last chapter, just the next one.

I am sorry this is happening. There are always miracles, maybe it's not her time yet.

Said a prayer for you guys.