Prayers for both of you.

So sorry. Prayers for both of you.

to answer your question,

yes, but not today,


that is the answer the wife and I have settled on,
I am 61, she 58, and while we are both relatively healthy, we both know that one doc visit may change things,

sorry to hear about your wifes issues, and hope she can beat it (friend found out he had stage 3 colon cancer, no symptons, and has managed to beat it)


take care of her, and yourself

Like many here, had the unexpected and unwanted news happen. My best to you both while you climb this hill.

One foot in front of the other my virtual brother, with the best possible outcome. Until then just take each goal one step at a time. Be a strong advocate for your wife as she will benefit from your strength.

Prayers for you both.

My thoughts and prayers are with you....

I was asked that question countless times in my career. Often the answer was clearly no, occasionally there was some doubt, and there were those times when the factual answer was yes.

My normal response was "Sir/Ma'am/son/little lady.... not at the moment, and if I have anything to say about it <wink> definitely not today <confident smile>, but I need your help so this is what we're going to do...."

I will pray for strength and peace for both of you. Keep the faith.

Mrs DF would want the raw truth. That’s what I would give her. She and I are sometimes beset by the tragedies of life. We pray together. We read scripture together. We have peace together. We learned there is no avoiding terrible things out of our control. There is only faith and diligence navigating them together.

I’m sorry you have this in your lives. May you find peace and strength to navigate it.

Prayers for you both, and your families. Be strong for her…not just physically helping her when she needs assistance, but also during depressed, sad, or helpless emotional waves. If she has a similar sense of humor as you do, find a way to make her laugh - to the point of tears - when she gets in emotional ruts. If she has a Bucket List, help her check off as many as financially and physically possible.

Staying strong for her will wear on you - if you pray, talk to God a lot!!! If not, make time for you to vent…range time, meeting a friend, gym…whatever helps you recharge.

Best wishes to you both.

I'm very sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how crushing it was to hear the diagnosis from the doctor and then the emotional burden of having to tell your wife the news while you were still reeling from it yourself. No matter how well prepared you are, that's still going to be one of the hardest thing you could ever have to do.

As to the question itself, I'm mostly at peace with it. Like others have said, the answer is "yes" for all of us, eventually. My wife and I both have faith in our salvation in Christ and know where we're going. It's a lot better than here! But selfishly, I wouldn't want her to leave me here to do the rest of my life without her, and I feel like I still have a lot of work to do, and a responsibility to her and the kids, so I'm not ready to leave yet either. God's plan is bigger than mine and he knows better than me, but even knowing that it's not always easy to let go and trust him.

I'll be praying for you, your wife, and your family. Hopefully the doctors are wrong and she fights through this and gets a lot more time than they think. Either way I hope you guys are able to have a lot of meaningful time together, support and be strong for one another, and have peace that you've made the most of what you have.

I am so sorry, hapevo. I have no words of wisdom, but I am hurting for you right now. And I will be praying for you, Sandy and her healthcare providers today.

I answer the question as truthfully as I can.

As Professor Peterson stated, telling the truth as you see it guarantees you the best of all possible outcomes.

When I was working as a paramedic, I got that question occasionally. My response was something like "I don't know if this is going to kill you, but you're talking and that is a good sign." If the patient wasn't talking, I had no need for an answer.

Now since then I've also had to tell a few non-medically savvy friends that their condition was likely fatal. But I also point out that this was true from the moment of conception - one day all forms of life die. We generally have no idea what will cause death or when. I guess after nearly dying again and again, I've come to accept its inevitability.

You and your family have my deep condolences; this is emotionally brutal for some folks. It still sucks emotionally, but treasure the time until that day.

My heart goes out to you both.

As some have said, don't focus on the end, focus on the in between, the time you have left.

I am sorry for this, and my thoughts are with you.

I want to thank everyone for the prayers and positive thoughts, it really means a lot to us during this very difficult journey. Also want to offer my condolences to those here that have lost a loved one, my heart goes out to you. It is so hard to imagine such loss, but as others have said, it will happen to all of us one day.....

Sandy had a really difficult day yesterday with the effects of the chemo. She is losing weight and trying to get her to eat has become very difficult, no appetite and nausea. She did seem better this morning and hopefully she is coming out of the chemo fog. Sadly it will start all over next week when she gets her next treatment.

We are looking at a procedure that is called NanoKnife "which uses needles to deliver high voltage pulses to the tumor, which destroys the cancer cells".

Again, thank you everyone

My best wishes for you and your wife. As a cop, I thought I was experienced in dealing with people at what may have been the worst day of their lives. That is... Until I started working at an in patient hospice facility. Many of the patients were ambulatory and I would interact with them daily. A typical conversation would begin with "whats going on today" or "hows it going". The usual way you greet someone you really dont know but have just met.
The response was often "I am dying" or "I am going to die". I responded with "but not right now" or "we all will, sooner or later". Was that the right response? I really couldnt say. No matter how long I worked there, I struggled to have some type of positive conversation with patients and families. Often, I just said "hello' Or "hi" and let the other person take up the conversation from there.

I agree with Yooper Sigs. If I dealt with traffic crash victims I always told the truth. But, no one who was about to die ever asked. The ones I did see bled out internally. They are talking and just slowly faded out.

Personally, my wife got a diagnosis of terminal brain disease delivered by a female Doctor with all the compassion of being told that she needed to wash her car. I wanted to punch her out on the spot. But, looking back on it we focused on keeping her quality of life as good as we could for as long as we could. It led both of us to salvation and that gave both of us more comfort than anything else we could have done.

God placed me at my Mother’s side July 21 to answer this question. We had been in the hospital for three days, having traveled to celebrate her 87th birthday weekend but instead working through many tests to discover why she felt badly. Waking up from light anesthesia she asked me. The exact words of my reply I cannot recall, but I answered her question with certainty and love. She passed away August 22.

I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is a tough question to ask and sometimes hard to answer. For me, it comes down to my faith with Jesus. He has given me more peace than I could ever imagine in all aspects of life. We all know that life ends in death and it can be stressful when it seems to be cut short.

With Jesus, this life is just the beginning. In death, if you put your complete faith in Him, repent of our sins/wrongs, believe what He did on the cross and His resurrection, we are free from the grip that death has on us. He gave us salvation by grace and nothing we could earn on our own. He paid our price, even though we don't deserve it. It is a beautiful thing that a loving God gave us. It has helped me through many dark times and gives me hope that those I have lost in this life, that also believed on Him, I will see again in His presence forever. As I am getting/growing older, I appreciate/love Him/that now more than ever. I will pray for you both.

Prayers for your wife and for you.