Got a call I think around 8:00 from my elderly parents late 80's that my 1st cousins son was found dead just outside of Boston he and his brother had no father figure, useless sperm donor, and mom isn't much better. So as oldest and having done what I have in life I was Uncle to both for the last 23 years. Every family has that part that makes you go how are we even possessing the same DNA? Mom is that, Anthony who was found dead graduated high school June of 19 and realized mom wasn't going to pay his way got a job in one of the local unions working on high rise construction here in the city. Good kid no drugs went to the gym daily worked minimum of 5 days a week usually 6, bought his own car and was saving to buy a house.

I had seen him a couple of weeks ago and was telling me he let a school friend move in who was down on his luck. My cop sense started buzzing, I,asked him who and offered my harshest objection, and said the kid is fucking garbage, my friends have collared him, his dad, his mom and even his aunt. If shit had a family tree this would be it. I stressed don't let him be there when you're not home all the stuff one should say.

But in the infinite wisdom that is 19, he was Uncle you've been a cop and now criminal lawyer for most of your life maybe you're a little jaded people can change, they just need help. A part of me wanted to drive to his apartment that night and give shitbag fast roping instruction from the roof without any rope. But I didn't, I'm here typing this thinking did I Let this kid into a trap to die? It's keeping me up and I think all of God's lines are a little busy.

When my friend who's the Chief ADA in Homicide filled me in on what happened I got sick, and what they learned I can't bear to type.

30 years in the system and I've never thrown up this much.

I believe in the system and God and know Justice will prevail, I just can't shake the I should've done more pressure in my chest.

Para if it weren't for having this place for 20 years to speak with people that know life, tonight would be even worse.

Thanks
Spunk

This message has been edited. Last edited by: spunk639,

So sorry to hear. You tried. You can't be everywhere all the time, don't beat yourself up. Prayers for you and those who loved him. I hope you find those responsible and justice is served.

Absolutely terrible, I've got nothing but condolences and prayers for you and his family. I'm so sorry.

I know that you know you can't blame yourself. That you feel the way you do speaks volumes about the type of person you are. My best to you and your family.

I’m so sorry. Please try not to go down the “if only I’d...” road. It won’t bring you anywhere good. Cherish the memories you have, hug your other nephew closer. If they were close, he is the one who needs help right now. Please take care, and don’t blame yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss.

You gave valuable advice based on personal knowledge and professional experience with your nephew's best interests in mind. You had no control over what was done with that advice and therefore bear no responsibility for subsequent events.

All the best to you and your family.

Very sorry to read of this tragic loss and your soulful grieving. It could happen to anyone at any time. We have all made poor choices, especially when young. You did all you could and more for 23 yrs. Don't kick yourself endlessly about this. When the lines aren't so busy, give it to God.
Travel well and rest in peace Anthony ~~~

It's not your fault. You couldn't have changed this situation. My condolences on your tragic loss.

Sorry for your loss, prayers sent.

quote:

Originally posted by FiveFiveSixFan:
I'm sorry for your loss.

You gave valuable advice based on personal knowledge and professional experience with your nephew's best interests in mind. You had no control over what was done with that advice and therefore bear no responsibility for subsequent events.

All the best to you and your family.

Although it’s hard to read this, 556fan is correct.
Sorry for the pain you are going through.

You and all involved are in my prayers.

Very sorry for you and your family's loss. You did all that you could.

Deepest condolences, know that you did all that could be done.

Condolences, prayers for the family, prayers for justice.

God, that's terrible. Sorry is all I can say. You may get better information about it than the public, but I'm not sure you want to even hear it. As you wander thru the grieving process, all kinds of things come to mind. But so far the suggestions you've heard here will probably be best for you. There is nothing you did or can do that will change anything. All you can do is hang in there and find some kind of distraction for the next few days.

Sorry Spunk, I hope whoever is responsible gets caught and locked away. Prayers for you and the rest of the family.

I'm sorry to hear that, Spunk. Nothing you could have done. Absolutely nothing.

I often, perhaps wrongly, think that all long-term cops are jaded. I mean, how could they not be? But your post shows that you have not lost your humanity despite having seen what you have.

I echo the thoughts above, and our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Very sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up. You've done the best you can and I know there is nothing that any of us can say to help other than know we are here for you and have said prayers for all.

So very sorry. Repeating what others have said, you tried to change the course of events. Please don’t be hard on yourself.