The wife and I were getting ready to sit down to dinner when I spied a stink bug on the window sill. I captured it and opened my front door to toss it out. Well, unbeknownst to me, two birds had begun to build a nest in the artificial holiday wreath my wife had hung on the door and they flew into the house.

Great

Step one: Forget about dinner for a while.

Step two: Close doors to all rooms in order to keep the birds from flying into them.

Step three: Open all doors leading to the outside.

Step four: Retrieve a brightly-colored towel and attempt to shoo the birds out an open door.

Step five: Retrieve a flashlight to search for the birds behind and under furniture after you've scared the shit out of them by waving a brightly-colored towel at them.

Step six: Put highly agitated cat into closet (should have been step one).

Step seven: Call on all reserves of patience when you can no longer locate either bird.

Step eight: Repeat step five.

Step nine: Locate both birds and scream profanities at them.

Step ten: Apologize to wife for screaming profanities at the birds.

Step eleven: Apologize to the birds.

Step twelve: Let cat out of closet, because they know brightly-colored towels won't help you.

Step thirteen: Flush birds after cat locates them in the CHRISTMAS TREE in 16.3 seconds.

Step fourteen: Rejoice as one bird flies out through the patio door.

Step fifteen: Repeat steps nine to eleven, subtracting one bird. Same number of wives.

Step sixteen: Eat a cookie for dinner

Step seventeen: Sit down on your couch and flush the remaining bird without realizing it was there.

Step eighteen: Put cat back in closet. Wife remains free range.

Step nineteen: Have another cookie

Step twenty: Watch the remaining bird fly out the patio door after dropping a shit bomb on an end table.

Step twenty-one: Take a shower and then just be still and quiet for a while.

Step twenty-two: Remember that your cat is in the closet, let it out and avoid its accusing stares.

Ah, normal day at my house.

Lots of birds flying around.

Some folks might react a little different, I suppose.

Step twenty-three: Take down the wreath?

National lampoons Para Chriatmas special!

Glad the cat wasn't under the easy chair.

Email me a cookie please and have a happy New Year.

quote:

Originally posted by Mars_Attacks:
Ah, normal day at my house.

Lots of birds flying around.

Some folks might react a little different, I suppose.

The difference is whether or not the birds belong inside, I suppose...

LOL!

Happy New Year!!!

Be thankful you haven't run out of cookies (and that the birds didn't eat them!)

In the last house I lived in, from time to time a sparrow would manage to come down the fireplace chimney and join us. The result was a cat riot!
Happy New Year!

Haha...very encouraging and exciting times for the cat.
Happy New Year!

Great story!!

I wondered how people with no tennis rackets handled such situations…..

We have a Carolina Wren that nests on the back porch. She nests in an old letter box by the door and when it's dark she will be nestled down in it.

When it's dark out and if you forget and leave the kitchen light on when going out, it will flush her and in the house she goes, straight up the stairs in the kitchen.

From there you have to shut off the lights and try to get her in a towel.

I have learned to turn on the porch light and use a flashlight to chase her out.

I don't know what birds' deal is. They like to fly into open buildings but don't seem to know how to fly back out.

Dang ...! Now that the script is written, can hardly wait to see this come out to watch in the theaters.

Reminds me of the time a bat got in our house, the wife and daughter were screaming bloody murder! I quietly went out to the garage and got my trusty blowgun.

By the time I came back, the bat had landed on the front wall near the ceiling, about 15' up, the girls had calmed down considerably. I loaded one of the blunt darts, took a big breath, aimed and THWACK!! hit that sucker and he fell down on the landing, dead. Totally amazed my wife and daughter

quote:

Originally posted by wreckdiver:
Reminds me of the time a bat got in our house, the wife and daughter were screaming bloody murder! I quietly went out to the garage and got my trusty blowgun.

By the time I came back, the bat had landed on the front wall near the ceiling, about 15' up, the girls had calmed down considerably. I loaded one of the blunt darts, took a big breath, aimed and THWACK!! hit that sucker and he fell down on the landing, dead. Totally amazed my wife and daughter

So now I know where this video was taken -

“Catch him daddy! Catch him!!”

quote:

Originally posted by wreckdiver:
Reminds me of the time a bat got in our house, the wife and daughter were screaming bloody murder! I quietly went out to the garage and got my trusty blowgun.

By the time I came back, the bat had landed on the front wall near the ceiling, about 15' up, the girls had calmed down considerably. I loaded one of the blunt darts, took a big breath, aimed and THWACK!! hit that sucker and he fell down on the landing, dead. Totally amazed my wife and daughter

This spring I would get 1-3 bats in my house weekly. I think they came from the attic via the attic fan. They would dive and fly around, stop and rest, and then go again. I would close the bedroom door when I went to bed and leave them alone. They were always gone the next morning except for one that died. So far, they have not come back.