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| An investment in knowledge pays the best interest |
If there is a stronger non sequitur in the human language, I don’t know of one. Already recognizing that HR personnel everywhere are generally the dumbest people I’ve met in my life, I was not looking forward to a due diligence meeting today with a senior HR leader… who belongs to a large company that might be acquiring my firm in the near future. All of my firm’s corporate officers (including me) were required to participate one-on-one, unlike every other meeting I’ve had as it relates to the potential transaction. The reason I wasn’t looking forward to it is because I knew it would be a brain dead conversation and sure enough I was rewarded with the following 5 questions: 1. Why do you come to work every day? 2. What do you like about your job? 3. What motivates your work? 4. What does the future hold? {when asked to clarify, the answer was you can say anything} 5. What can HR do better? Before anyone responds, I’ve already been told and have seen it reflected in paperwork that I’m a key man retain so the questions aren’t designed to see if I’m worth keeping or a good fit. I know they want touchy feely BS answers but it just goes to demonstrate to this executive how worthless these people are. It’s a fucking dog & pony show, typically minority hires who know zip about the business. BTW, my last two answers were (4): a good dinner tonight and (5) hire HR people that know the business. While I didn’t say it, $ could be the same answer for questions 1-3. And no, I can’t talk about which companies are involved. Rant off. | ||
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semi-reformed sailor |
1. To earn money so that I can pay my bills 2. (When I was working) I love the work 3. Getting to get stupid people off the streets 4. Retirement and not having to deal with a particular subset of humans 5. Quit making us participate in stupid quizzes "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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Member |
Had to sit down and talk with the two Bobs I see. Get the memo on the TPS reports? __________________________ "Para ser libre, un hombre debe tener tres cosas, la tierra, una educacion y un fusil. Siempre un fusil !" (Emiliano Zapata) | |||
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Hop head  |
after too many years in Retail, I have postulated that the 2 departments that are an absolute waste of payroll dollars are HR AP/LP both seem to find a way to increase the size an scope with limited benefit, but I may be jaded, since I was a Store Manager for many years https://chandlersfirearms.com/chesterfield-armament/ | |||
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| Do No Harm, Do Know Harm |
I know we have some HR people here, and I don’t mean to insult them, but my interactions with Human Resources have been universally negative. They are often wrong, unavailable outside of bankers hours, don’t know what they are doing, and lag behind the time necessary to resolve an issue due to these issues. And they are seemingly immune. I compare them to the weatherman. Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here. Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard. -JALLEN "All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones | |||
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| Member |
I remember when it was called Personnel. They processed applications, workers comp claims and not much else. They stayed out of your business. It was about the time they changed the title to Human Resources that I left to start my own business. I have never looked back. It has become Pop Psychology at a first grade level. | |||
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| Member |
Human Resources is a self perpetuating bureaucracy created to give incompetent idiots and political appointees a place to show up occasionally for part of a day. I worked for a state law enforcement agency. The State Office of Human Resources had about 200 fat entitled "so called" workers. One could not get anyone on the phone after middle of the afternoon on Wednesday. I once went to their offices after lunch on Friday and the ONLY person present was the receptionist. | |||
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| Do No Harm, Do Know Harm |
Oh I forgot this…ours closes one Friday a month because they are so busy and can’t be bothered. Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here. Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard. -JALLEN "All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones | |||
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| Member |
At my company, HR is the most despicable, toxic and dysfunctional group of people I've ever met. | |||
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| Member |
HR are the political commissars of the corporation. I was married to a Catbert once upon a time. She showed me how it all worked - I'm disillusioned for life. Once in a rare while HR does something positive. I used to state 'If I can't resolve the issue with my immediate management levels, I'll visit my lawyer.' -.-. --.- -.-. --.- -.-. --.- -.-. --.- It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master. Ayn Rand "He gains votes ever and anew by taking money from everybody and giving it to a few, while explaining that every penny was extracted from the few to be giving to the many." Ogden Nash from his poem - The Politician | |||
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| semi-reformed sailor |
Hahaha I was laughing at this and Mrs Mike wanted to know what it was.....I showed her.....she is a senior professional HR something or another and actually makes sure people get insurance healthcare, etc....she has taken offense. But I’m chuckling because Chongo is right generally. Mrs. Mike is the exception. When I was policing I went to HR to complain-senior staff came into roll call and threatened our jobs saying that you can be replaced overnight, and if you don’t do what I say when I say it I will call around to a neighboring department and let them know(I guess to keep them from hiring you)...they were making us do mandatory volunteer hours for community projects and paying some people and not paying others....I found out that HR is really there to protect the business-they don’t give a shit about you. Fortunately I retired soon after the complaint was made. "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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| Left-Handed, NOT Left-Winged! |
Yes, HR is there to protect the business from liability, not do the right thing. I reported an Indian manager for multiple violations of our code of conduct for treatment of others, namely screaming at me in front of my peers and the team Director in meetings. He also had a bad habit of using anti-white racial epithets as jokes, and did not stop when I told him it was inappropriate and against policy to use any racial epithets. Add to that his frequent openly speaking of hatred of Pakistan. Since I am a middle aged white male I have no standing to sue for discrimination (not in a protected group) so they dissolved the managerial relationship and kept us in the same team sitting next to each other. I think he got some kind of training but other than that, seems nothing happened, and he got a promotion to go to another facility. | |||
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| Member |
What Lefty above said in his first sentence. If you remember that sentence, you understand the task and purpose of HR. | |||
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Drill Here, Drill Now |
Human resources is 2 lies in one job title as they are neither human nor a resource. Frankly, 90% of them are in HR because they're too dumb and too lazy to work for the TSA. I realize that there are exceptions to the above. For example, the best one that I have ever worked with retired 15 months ago and I'm back to the lazy, useless ones. Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer. | |||
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| Muzzle flash aficionado  |
Before I retired I worked for a large semiconductor manufacturer with facilities all around the world. My job was to create and maintain infrastructure software (in COBOL) that was used by other programmers throughout the company. I am a thorough and methodical person and when a question about the software I supported was raised, typically gave a very detailed response about how to fix whatever problem was evident. One female programmer in Italy complained to our central HR department that I had denigrated her ability by giving an answer (via e-mail) that was too simple, direct, and comprehensive--even cookbook like, and she accused me of sexual harrasment. I had no idea what sex she was--she had some off-the-wall name that was not an obvious clue (and I didn't care--she asked a question and I gave my usual thorough answer). The ladies in my office were aghast that anyone would accuse me of harrassment. HR took the side of the female, ordered me to offer an apology (via e-mail), which was accepted. To have refused would no doubt have made a permanent mark on my record. I instructed my supervisor that I would never again have any communication with that female. (The ladies in my office wanted to scratch her eyes out.) HR was not there for me, and I was innocent. flashguy Texan by choice, not accident of birth | |||
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Better Than I Deserve! |
Stereotype much? There are a few good ones out there, don't write us all off.  As can be seen in this thread, most people don't understand that HR is there to protect the company. While we try to advocate for the employees and be a fair Arbitrator, at the end of the day I'm there to protect the company. The example above about being accused and being innocent and HR isn't on your side is a prime example...The company will have to settle for big money when that employee files a harassment claim with the EEOC and the company is sued. You may very well be innocent but that doesn't matter at all once the company is sued. The simple allegation will cost the company money so HR is going to do everything they can to satisfy the employee making the complaint so that it doesn't escalate to the EEOC and then court. The best way to satisfy the employee making the allegation is to take their allegation seriously, investigate, and come up with a resolution that provides satisfaction so it doesn't escalate. I deal with this every day and have been sued over and over for shit that never actually happened but none of us can afford to defend these silly charges at trial so we settle (insurance company demands it). It sucks but that's how society is these days. It's much cheaper if HR can resolve these issues in-house without lawyers. LBTRS, MHRM, SPHR, SHRM-SCP Director of Human Resources ____________________________ NRA Benefactor Life Member GOA Life Member Arizona Citizens Defense League Life Member | |||
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Nullus Anxietas |
In my 32 years with my last employer I managed to train HR people--every last one of them--to do their level best to avoid me to the extent possible  "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher | |||
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His Royal Hiney |
HR people can be good or bad just like anyone. On a one on one with a new boss female. This was 2016 so it wasn't in the "good ole days." After a bit into the chitchat, she asks, "so what keeps Rey awake at night?" It took a microsecond to classify the question as a silly question requiring a silly answer in kind. I said without a beat, "The full size picture of you on my bedroom ceiling?" She looked at me as I deadpanned it and she broke out laughing. "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946. | |||
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| Too old to run, too mean to quit! |
When I was in management at IBM, personnel decided that they were going to run the company. Which ended in some rather involved discussions. It ended when they tried to tell line management who we would hire, promote, etc. One example: An employee deliberately destroyed a couple million dollars worth of product by having her name engraved on the chips. She worked for a peer manager of mine. It became a personnel issue, of course since she was black. The line management was united in firing the twit, but personnel was fighting it by saying the last 3 people fired were black, therefore we could not fire her. I suggested that the firing manager simply tell personnel that she was fired, and if they didn't like it to transfer her to their department, give her a desk. He did, and she was gone that day. I think one of the biggest problems our companies/corporations have today is that line managers either do not understand their job, or are scared of personnel. Elk There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour) "To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. " -Thomas Jefferson "America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville FBHO!!! The Idaho Elk Hunter | |||
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I Deal In Lead |
Ah yes, Inhuman Resources, one of the many reasons I started my own company many years ago. | |||
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