Para, if this should have been rolled in with some of the other threads, my apologies. Of course move, lock, etc if needed


It’s 330 in the morning. The game was at 3 yesterday afternoon. I made it about 8 hours before my anger finally overcame my concern that speaking out is somehow going to effect my kid

I don’t give a fuck what the political message is. An adult in a position of power cannot use 13 and 14 year old kids as a fucking prop. What if one of the kids didn’t want to kneel? Do we really believe every time that kid touched the ball they wouldn’t be under a microscope?

I’ve included a copy of my email to the club and coaches below. I’ve got a lot of shit I need to do. But I’m so angry right now I don’t see sleep coming anytime soon


Text of email follows. I tried to be as calm and neutral as I could. (You will see mention of the charity. This was a charity tournament. When the kneeling initially happened and I asked what was going on some of the parents speculated it might have been about the charity. It wasn’t until later that other parents indeed confirmed it was a BLM issue)

Coaches,

I was hoping for some clarification about something that happened yesterday afternoon before the 06 NPL boys game versus VSA at Ali Kreiger. Before the game it looked like the referee had both teams kneel on the field for a period of time.

I understand there is a lot going on in the country today, and I respect and support professional athlete’s right to use their platform to forward messages they feel strongly about. That said, the emphasis there is on professional. They are adults, capable of making their own decisions. I think we need some clarification about what happened yesterday. These are 13 and 14 year old kids, and if they were told to take a knee because of the political beliefs of an adult in a position of power I think we have a serious problem. I do not want my son used for such a display. We believe black lives matter. We are also a family of veterans. If the kneeling dealt specifically with the charity supported that is one thing, and that should have been communicated to the parents in attendance so that we could also take part. But if the referee was using the teams to take part in a personal political display without the consent of the teams or the parents, I find that appalling.

Even now I debated sending this email for fear that my protest of what happened would be viewed in some way as support for the negative, racist crap that unfortunately has reared its ugly head in our society. What if one of the boys had not wanted to kneel? For whatever reason? It is not a big leap to wonder if the adult in the position of power that asked the boys to kneel would then view that child in a negative light.

Regardless. This was a 13 and 14 year old youth soccer game. It is not appropriate for anyone to use these boys to forward a personal political message or agenda, no matter how righteous the cause. And it certainly was not appropriate for it to happen without some conversation with the parents and team first.

We have been a member of the club for many years. At this point every recipient of this email has known my character, and that of my son, directly for a long time. I know, then, that everyone will know the respect we feel and show for everyone, and that this email and question will be viewed with that in mind. As I said, I debated even asking for fear that in today’s politically charged environment just the question could be twisted into something nefarious. I then reminded myself of the quality and character of all the men addressed here and knew that this would not effect our relationship, nor your relationship with Karrick. One of the great things about our club and our team specifically is the respect and caring the boys feel for each other, and how that is also true of the families. Honestly the world as a whole could learn a lot from our boys and the community the parents and coaches have built around them.

I am sorry to put this out there or to detract from the performance of the boys today. They played extremely well together as a team and, in some stretches, I would argue it’s the best soccer I’ve ever seen them play.

Hopefully this finds everyone well.

Regards,


TL;DR: don’t use my 14 year old son as a prop in your fucking political stunt

You were much more reserved then I would have been. I would have been furious (I know you are too). You handled yourself well. I agree this had to be addressed.

Good luck!

quote:

Originally posted by SigLaw:
You were much more reserved then I would have been. I would have been furious (I know you are too). You handled yourself well. I agree this had to be addressed.

Good luck!

Yeah, I would have called them fucking maggots right there and pulled my son out of the league. But, that's just me.
Btw, I'm confused by this:

quote:

I do not want my son used for such a display. We believe black lives matter. We are also a family of veterans. If the kneeling dealt specifically with the charity supported that is one thing, and that should have been communicated to the parents in attendance so that we could also take part.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:

quote:

Originally posted by SigLaw:
You were much more reserved then I would have been. I would have been furious (I know you are too). You handled yourself well. I agree this had to be addressed.

Good luck!

Yeah, I would have called them fucking maggots right there and pulled my son out of the league. But, that's just me.
Btw, I'm confused by this:

quote:

I do not want my son used for such a display. We believe black lives matter. We are also a family of veterans. If the kneeling dealt specifically with the charity supported that is one thing, and that should have been communicated to the parents in attendance so that we could also take part.

I'm with you Q

quote:

Originally posted by SigLaw:
You were much more reserved then I would have been. I would have been furious (I know you are too). You handled yourself well. I agree this had to be addressed.

Good luck!

Same here. I would have been thrown off the field for my reaction.

You will not use my child for your virtue signalling.

Wow.

Wow. I think I’d explode. I suspect the ref was told to do it. (I assume) like any other youth sport, they get paid to do their job, so they’re following instructions.
With hockey, anyway, most of the refs working that age group are pretty young themselves.

I hope you had a conversation with your son about not being used.
That frickin sucks to even have to have that conversation with your kid.

Wow. Totally uncalled for in youth sports. There is no need to introduce politics into a kids game.

I coached soccer for 12 years, and I can think of two instances that we did “out of the norm” before our game. I discussed these with the other team’s coaches and refs prior to the game. It wasn’t anything political, one “ceremony” involved the recent death of a teenager, the other was a moment of silence following a mass shooting in our area. All parents were notified beforehand, and were asked to participate. The ceremony for the teenager, I had the other head coach notify his parents a few days before, as we knew it would be emotional.

But politics and social causes in youth sports? That’s why they play, to stay distracted from things of that nature. That’s why people watch sports, to distract from the nuisances of everyday life. That is why a lot of people have given up on professional sports. In our league, you have to be a licensed ref, with current background checks. I’d file a complaint with the refereeing authority. It may even be covered in their bylaws, and if it isn’t, is should be.

When politics are introduced into a sport, it’s not longer a sport but politics.

Same opinion here, you were much too kind. It would infuriate me as well. I’m beyond fed up with this horse shit.

You are extraordinarily polite and deferential....”hoping for clarification”??

I would demand heads on sticks.

I’ve been in and around sports and coached my fair share of youth hockey and soccer and I’m telling you here and now......Whoever organized that display is completely out of line and should be out of youth sports this morning.

There is no excuse for this political stunt using kids. I applaud you for your restraint, both at the game and in your letter. I'm so fed up with this bullshit I would have been demanding that heads roll in very explicit terms. My son or daughter would not participate again until that crap is resolved.

Put me down with the others that would have been way more pissed than that.

Yeah, I’d have had to say “We believe that All lives matter - black, brown, yellow, even white. We believe it is a person’s character, not the color of their skin that matters.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on Belligerent Lying Marxists.

Kevbo,
Did you or do you plan to talk to your boy about this? I know what I would want to convey, but I would be conflicted as to exactly what to say.

Well spoken, not out of line at all. Out of line X5 was the person asking (telling) them to "take a knee".

I think you did a good job bringing this issue up in a way that doesn’t inflame things further. These kids signed up to play soccer - if they’re going to get lessons in politics too the parents should have some say in what those lessons are and how they are taught.

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:
Yeah, I would have called them fucking maggots right there and pulled my son out of the league. But, that's just me.

I would have a similar reaction as well. The stress of having to compromise one's principles and sit dealing with that shit is not worth paying money to have my child in a sports league. Because "Black Lives Matter is all based on a colossal lie. And the kneeling bullshit is rooted in shame of America, and no way will my child be involved in leftist grandstanding.

Perhaps I am not qualified as I am not a parent.

But at 14 , Tell him it's his decision ,not the schools,coaches , or yours. He's old enough
to make the decision, he knows what world or community he wants to be an active part in.

He knows deep down inside, how much sports,friends and social messages means to him.

He knows what he can live with going forward.
Pick your battle's , show him you you can trust his judgment.

These next four years are going to fly by like a dog on a donut.

Ask him, what it means to him, even if he gives you the answer you don't agree with,

This is not a challenge or problem circumstance ,this is an
opportunity ,
for the both of you to understand each other just a little bit better.

12 - 15 was a very important time as a very young man in bonding with a father.

I do believe black lives matter. Just like I believe white lives matter. And purple lives. And American lives and Chinese lives. See where I’m going there? Of course I don’t support the duck twit political organization.

As for the second part, I was trying to say if it was part of a moment of silence for the charity then the parents should have been involved. That way none of this ambiguity or confusion exists. If it was a moment of silence because a kid from one of the clubs died from cancer I would absolutely participate. It would have been odd to me that we were kneeling for it, but, again, no ambiguity

If they had come over and said “parents we are going to kneel because black lives matter” there would have been a shit storm. Since I posted this last night the group parent chat where I asked about the display has not been happy. Apparently I wasn’t the only one confused

I have not received a response to the email

quote:

Originally posted by 12131:

quote:

Originally posted by SigLaw:
You were much more reserved then I would have been. I would have been furious (I know you are too). You handled yourself well. I agree this had to be addressed.

Good luck!

Yeah, I would have called them fucking maggots right there and pulled my son out of the league. But, that's just me.
Btw, I'm confused by this:

quote:

I do not want my son used for such a display. We believe black lives matter. We are also a family of veterans. If the kneeling dealt specifically with the charity supported that is one thing, and that should have been communicated to the parents in attendance so that we could also take part.

I don’t have a problem with your answer at all. But I want the option to do that as a parent. The referee telling them to do it took away my opportunity to have this conversation with my son before it was thrust upon

Basically my kid was used as a prop in this guy’s political theater. And fuck that

As far as my response yesterday, i really didn’t realize what was happening until it was almost through. Because of the covid 19 restrictions parents aren’t allowed on the sideline basically until right before the game so we weren’t set up yet My wife had run into an old friend on her way through the parking lot and missed it entirely. I was trying to get chairs, a blanket and my 8 year old daughter situated (and was irritated I was doing it without my wife) and so wasn’t paying attention until it was almost through and even then when I asked I was told it was because someone had died, and then the game started. It wasn’t until I asked later on the parent chat that I got the real answer that led to my email and insomnia

To clarify what I’ve said above. Yes I’m being political in my email. I’m not trying to get into an argument with any of the coaches about the difference between black lives matter the movement and the sentiment. I’m not trying to light any flame until I have more information. Our coach is also the coach of the u19 year old team and they were playing simultaneously so he wasn’t even there. There is a better than average chance no one receiving the email even knows what happened. We played a game earlier in the day with our normal coach (who is actually black) and no one kneeled. Plus, as I said, I don’t know any of these guys political beliefs. I don’t really want them knowing mine. I would prefer youth soccer to be just about as apolitical as possible.

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
Perhaps I am not qualified as I am not a parent.

But at 14 , Tell him it's his decision ,not the schools,coaches , or yours. He's old enough
to make the decision, he knows what world or community he wants to be an active part in.

He knows deep down inside, how much sports,friends and social messages means to him.

He knows what he can live with going forward.
Pick your battle's , show him you you can trust his judgment.

These next four years are going to fly by like a dog on a donut.

Ask him, what it means to him, even if he gives you the answer you don't agree with,

This is not a challenge or problem circumstance ,this is an
opportunity ,
for the both of you to understand each other just a little bit better.

12 - 15 was a very important time as a very young man in bonding with a father.