I was on a job in a small town and stopped at a Little Caesars after work. This was when they were doing the pizza pizza thing.
Me I'd like a pizza with pepperoni and onion.
Clerk What do you want on your second pizza?
Me I only want one.
Clerk You get two.
Me I'll pay but I only want one.
Clerk You have to take two.
If someone else had been there they would have gotten a free pizza on me but I was the only one there. I said forget it and ended up with a burger and fries somewhere else.
“I would overdo being nice to avoid extra fluids on my food.”
|posting without pants|
I have this EVERY time with my wife. Her name is "Melani" NOT "Melanie"
They are both pronounced the same, or at least you would think.
EVERY driver through idiot calls her me-LAN-i. No dude, It's mel-ah-NI. Shouldn't be hard.
Strive to live your life so when you wake up in the morning and your feet hit the floor, the devil says "Oh crap, he's up."
|Savor the limelight|
It wasn’t fast food, but rather a mom & pop restaurant with four burger options on the menu with one of them being a mushroom and Swiss.
Yeah that interacting with other humans,
When will it end?
If only there was a way to never have to interact with anyone, ever again.
Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.
Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
| Get my pies|
outta the oven!
I was at Lowe's the other day and asked the girl standing nearby a very basic question about finish nails, I had to put up some new baseboard. I'm standing in the aisle of nothing but nails and screws but just couldn't find the finish nails for some reason.
You should have seen the deer in the headlights look, total panic. She starts walking off and says "I'll go find out!" I'm like "Ummm...we are in the aisle full of NAILS, where are you going?"
|I Deal In Lead|
There is, but it's irreversible.
So you wanted Pizza , but you left because they were going to give you a free one that you didn't want ? Yeah I can see where that would be a deal breaker ...
|I Deal In Lead|
Little Caesars pizza itself would be a deal breaker for me. I think I'd just as soon eat the cardboard box it comes in.
from the abyss
I decided long ago to not ask a woman for anything in a hardware store. I'm not trying to exhibit chauvinism, misogyny, or anything else. I just know that my odds of only having to ask once and getting a good, and right, answer go up exponentially when I ask a man. Same goes for young looking males. Nope. Give me a fella that looks like my dad. He can help me out.
Posterity! You will never know, how much it cost the present Generation, to preserve your Freedom! - I hope you will make a good use of it. - if you do not, I shall repent in Heaven, that I ever took half the Pains to preserve it. - John Adams
I grew up in Hawaii. I would meh-LAN-ee this every time. But I get your feels. My wife is Celesta. Not Celeste (Sel-est), Celesta. Seh-les-tah. And DON'T get me started on Derek.
Life Member NRA & Washington Arms Collectors
Mistake not my current state of joshing gentle peevishness for the awesome and terrible majesty of the towering seas of ire that are themselves the milquetoast shallows fringing my vast oceans of wrath.
|Fly High, A.J.|
There is a local chain of stores called UDF-United Dairy Farmers that many years ago were actual dairy stores. Over the years they morphed into 24 hour gas station/mini marts, but they still have ice cream counters that serve cones, sundaes, floats, malts, shakes, etc.
Although I don't get them often anymore due to my expanding waistline, I do enjoy their peanut butter malts. Every time I go to order one, it's the same dance:
Me: I'd like a medium peanut butter malt, please.
Them: We don't have medium, we have regular, large, and giant.
Me: Give me whichever one is in the middle.
Me (after watching them put all the ingredients in EXCEPT the malt powder): Did you put in malt powder?
Them: Oh, so you wanted a malt, not a shake?
Me: Yes, please (internally--that's why I asked for a malt, not a shake).
I refuse to play the made up size name games. I'm relatively certain that if I ordered a large, I would get the biggest one. If I ordered a regular peanut butter malt, they'd probably ask what size I wanted. And I still wouldn't get the malt powder unless I pointed it out.
|His Royal Hiney|
Same here. I'm normally a wise ass anyway and I appreciate it when people can give me sass back. It's a form of mutual respect.
"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
|I Deal In Lead|
You can include me in that group also. It got me in a lot of trouble with the D.I. in Basic Training.
Respectfully, I have to disagree with you. My business is supplying rental equipment to hardware stores (mostly Ace and True Value) so I am in and out of these stores constantly. At a quick count, seven of the Ace Hardware stores are owned and managed by women. These ladies have grown up in the hardware business, having started working in the stores as young school kids. They know what they are doing! I have had some questions about obscure stuff that I have needed for various projects and they have always had the correct answers for me. On the other hand, I can think of a couple employees at these stores, long-time employees, older men who might "look like your dad," who are assertive, self-assured, and give wrong answers with great confidence.
One of the Ace stores that I dealt with was owned by a man, managed by a woman. The female manager had a sign on her desk: "Do you want to speak with the man in charge, or the woman who knows what she's doing?" Very true.
Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you put your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket.
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
|Three Generations |
My youngest daughter and I have refined sarcasm and wiseassery into a fine art. We had an exchange via text messages a while back that she copied and posted on Book Face. She said people were cracking up and remarking on the sharp wit and snappy replies.
She said "That's the way we talk every day!"
"Sarchasm: the intellectual gap between the person who makes a sarcastic joke and those who don’t get it"
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
| Get my pies|
outta the oven!
I had a friend that liked to call the local pizza place and order a pizza and tell them "half pepperoni" and "make sure it's on the right half of the pizza"
|quarter MOA visionary|
Hopefully the clerk didn't have to make change, that could pose a problem, eh?
|Alea iacta est|
Go to McDonald’s. Order cheeseburgers with no onions.
They usually get the “no onion” part correct.
Why, in the name of all that is good, do you need to compensate for there not being onions.
“No onions” doesn’t mean extra fucking ketchup, mustard, and pickle. It means make the burger the same way your two digit IQ ass churns out all the rest of the burgers.
One big ring of ketchup, one small ring of mustard, two pickle slices. Not half the kitchen of condiments, because I don’t want your gooey pulverized onions.
If I do have to subject myself to McDonald’s, I just order and eat the nasty little onion tidbits. It’s better than a condiment burger.
The “lol” thread
|thin skin can't win|
Because you've made it hard for them and you must pay. No onions? Fuck YOU - have some ketchup bitch!!!
You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02
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