I was on a job in a small town and stopped at a Little Caesars after work. This was when they were doing the pizza pizza thing.
Me I'd like a pizza with pepperoni and onion.
Clerk What do you want on your second pizza?
Me I only want one.
Clerk You get two.
Me I'll pay but I only want one.
Clerk You have to take two.
If someone else had been there they would have gotten a free pizza on me but I was the only one there. I said forget it and ended up with a burger and fries somewhere else.

dar185
“I would overdo being nice to avoid extra fluids on my food.”

Amen brother!

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:
Mouthbreather: What name should I put on the order?

Me {speaking clearly at same volume they understood rest of order}: Todd, T-o-d-d

Mouthbreather: Can you repeat?

Me {speaking clearly but slower}: Todd, T-o-d-d

Mouthbreather: Can you repeat?

Me {speaking clearly but louder}: Todd, T-o-d-d

Mouthbreather: Ok, Tim

Credit Card terminal: Do you want to add a tip?

Me: {Mashes "no" button}

I have this EVERY time with my wife. Her name is "Melani" NOT "Melanie"

They are both pronounced the same, or at least you would think.


EVERY driver through idiot calls her me-LAN-i. No dude, It's mel-ah-NI. Shouldn't be hard.

quote:

Originally posted by selogic:
Seriously , this is nothing . If you order fast food much this is typical and expected .

It wasn’t fast food, but rather a mom & pop restaurant with four burger options on the menu with one of them being a mushroom and Swiss.

Yeah that interacting with other humans,
When will it end?

If only there was a way to never have to interact with anyone, ever again.

I was at Lowe's the other day and asked the girl standing nearby a very basic question about finish nails, I had to put up some new baseboard. I'm standing in the aisle of nothing but nails and screws but just couldn't find the finish nails for some reason.

You should have seen the deer in the headlights look, total panic. She starts walking off and says "I'll go find out!" I'm like "Ummm...we are in the aisle full of NAILS, where are you going?"

quote:

Originally posted by bendable:
Yeah that interacting with other humans,
When will it end?

If only there was a way to never have to interact with anyone, ever again.

There is, but it's irreversible.

quote:

Originally posted by HGWTJWH:
I was on a job in a small town and stopped at a Little Caesars after work. This was when they were doing the pizza pizza thing.
Me I'd like a pizza with pepperoni and onion.
Clerk What do you want on your second pizza?
Me I only want one.
Clerk You get two.
Me I'll pay but I only want one.
Clerk You have to take two.
If someone else had been there they would have gotten a free pizza on me but I was the only one there. I said forget it and ended up with a burger and fries somewhere else.

So you wanted Pizza , but you left because they were going to give you a free one that you didn't want ? Yeah I can see where that would be a deal breaker ...

quote:

Originally posted by selogic:
So you wanted Pizza , but you left because they were going to give you a free one that you didn't want ? Yeah I can see where that would be a deal breaker ...

Little Caesars pizza itself would be a deal breaker for me. I think I'd just as soon eat the cardboard box it comes in.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
I was at Lowe's the other day and asked the girl standing nearby a very basic question about finish nails,

I decided long ago to not ask a woman for anything in a hardware store. I'm not trying to exhibit chauvinism, misogyny, or anything else. I just know that my odds of only having to ask once and getting a good, and right, answer go up exponentially when I ask a man. Same goes for young looking males. Nope. Give me a fella that looks like my dad. He can help me out.

quote:

Originally posted by KevinCW:

quote:

Originally posted by tatortodd:

EVERY driver through idiot calls her me-LAN-ee. No dude, It's mel-ah-NI. Shouldn't be hard.

I grew up in Hawaii. I would meh-LAN-ee this every time. But I get your feels. My wife is Celesta. Not Celeste (Sel-est), Celesta. Seh-les-tah. And DON'T get me started on Derek.

There is a local chain of stores called UDF-United Dairy Farmers that many years ago were actual dairy stores. Over the years they morphed into 24 hour gas station/mini marts, but they still have ice cream counters that serve cones, sundaes, floats, malts, shakes, etc.

Although I don't get them often anymore due to my expanding waistline, I do enjoy their peanut butter malts. Every time I go to order one, it's the same dance:

Me: I'd like a medium peanut butter malt, please.

Them: We don't have medium, we have regular, large, and giant.

Me: Give me whichever one is in the middle.

Me (after watching them put all the ingredients in EXCEPT the malt powder): Did you put in malt powder?

Them: Oh, so you wanted a malt, not a shake?

Me: Yes, please (internally--that's why I asked for a malt, not a shake).

I refuse to play the made up size name games. I'm relatively certain that if I ordered a large, I would get the biggest one. If I ordered a regular peanut butter malt, they'd probably ask what size I wanted. And I still wouldn't get the malt powder unless I pointed it out.

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
I dunno about losing it, but my wiseass gene would have certainly been evident...

Same here. I'm normally a wise ass anyway and I appreciate it when people can give me sass back. It's a form of mutual respect.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
I dunno about losing it, but my wiseass gene would have certainly been evident...

Same here. I'm normally a wise ass anyway and I appreciate it when people can give me sass back. It's a form of mutual respect.

You can include me in that group also. It got me in a lot of trouble with the D.I. in Basic Training.

quote:

Originally posted by Gustofer:

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:

I was at Lowe's the other day and asked the girl standing nearby a very basic question about finish nails,

I decided long ago to not ask a woman for anything in a hardware store. I'm not trying to exhibit chauvinism, misogyny, or anything else. I just know that my odds of only having to ask once and getting a good, and right, answer go up exponentially when I ask a man. Same goes for young looking males. Nope. Give me a fella that looks like my dad. He can help me out.

Respectfully, I have to disagree with you. My business is supplying rental equipment to hardware stores (mostly Ace and True Value) so I am in and out of these stores constantly. At a quick count, seven of the Ace Hardware stores are owned and managed by women. These ladies have grown up in the hardware business, having started working in the stores as young school kids. They know what they are doing! I have had some questions about obscure stuff that I have needed for various projects and they have always had the correct answers for me. On the other hand, I can think of a couple employees at these stores, long-time employees, older men who might "look like your dad," who are assertive, self-assured, and give wrong answers with great confidence.

One of the Ace stores that I dealt with was owned by a man, managed by a woman. The female manager had a sign on her desk: "Do you want to speak with the man in charge, or the woman who knows what she's doing?" Very true.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
I dunno about losing it, but my wiseass gene would have certainly been evident...

Same here. I'm normally a wise ass anyway and I appreciate it when people can give me sass back. It's a form of mutual respect.

My youngest daughter and I have refined sarcasm and wiseassery into a fine art. We had an exchange via text messages a while back that she copied and posted on Book Face. She said people were cracking up and remarking on the sharp wit and snappy replies.

She said "That's the way we talk every day!"

"Sarchasm: the intellectual gap between the person who makes a sarcastic joke and those who don’t get it"

quote:

Originally posted by HGWTJWH:
I was on a job in a small town and stopped at a Little Caesars after work. This was when they were doing the pizza pizza thing.
Me I'd like a pizza with pepperoni and onion.
Clerk What do you want on your second pizza?
Me I only want one.
Clerk You get two.
Me I'll pay but I only want one.
Clerk You have to take two.
If someone else had been there they would have gotten a free pizza on me but I was the only one there. I said forget it and ended up with a burger and fries somewhere else.

I had a friend that liked to call the local pizza place and order a pizza and tell them "half pepperoni" and "make sure it's on the right half of the pizza"

quote:

At what point do you lose it?

Hopefully the clerk didn't have to make change, that could pose a problem, eh?

Go to McDonald’s. Order cheeseburgers with no onions.
They usually get the “no onion” part correct.
Why, in the name of all that is good, do you need to compensate for there not being onions.
“No onions” doesn’t mean extra fucking ketchup, mustard, and pickle. It means make the burger the same way your two digit IQ ass churns out all the rest of the burgers.
One big ring of ketchup, one small ring of mustard, two pickle slices. Not half the kitchen of condiments, because I don’t want your gooey pulverized onions.

If I do have to subject myself to McDonald’s, I just order and eat the nasty little onion tidbits. It’s better than a condiment burger.

quote:

Why, in the name of all that is good, do you need to compensate for there not being onions.

Because you've made it hard for them and you must pay. No onions? Fuck YOU - have some ketchup bitch!!!