In first grade, one of those large pencils issued to kids to learn to write with began to roll off my desk. I instinctively closed my legs to catch it. The point stabbed into my leg and broke off. I carried the lead around in my leg for decades. Not quite the comedic situation of a stepped on rake but its close!
End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
Posts: 17702 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014
I could fill up three evenings of fire side chats With shit for brains stunts, three stooges Accidents and cartoon skits that I have been lucky to survive.
Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.
Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
Posts: 56432 | Location: Henry County , Il | Registered: February 10, 2004
Originally posted by RichardC: Have you done anything classically, cliche, stereotypically dumb-ass recently?
Youngest son didn’t have school on Monday, so naturally we went fishing. If you have already guessed we launched the boat without putting the plug in, you would be correct. Fortunately it’s a small boat with a tiller outboard and I caught it early. Popped the plug in, kept idling out, got on plane, pulled the plug out, showed my son how the water drains out while you are on plane, then popped the plug back in.
Posts: 14354 | Location: SWFL | Registered: October 10, 2007
Originally posted by sourdough44: I don’t like a rake laying with the tines upward. It needs to be turned over or leaning against something.
Agreed. I should always wear gloves when working outside, on cars, when using sharp objects and anywhere near anything abrasive.
Sadly though I know all the "shoulds" and safe methods of using anything, I have 70 years of scars on my body. Minor scars but scars nonetheless. My shining moment was using one of those corkscrews that screw into the cork then you push two levers and extract the cork. Simple right? The cork was a bit long and I pulled the corkscrew that resisted then came loose into my chin. 3 stiches. I now use a waiters corkscrew, more efficient and safer. I am much better about safety but there is sometimes a momentary lapse or reason.
Let me help you out. Which way did you come in?
Posts: 946 | Location: North of Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: January 29, 2013
I was trying to cut the shrink wrap off the top of a glass bottle of BBQ sauce one time with a big chef knife, and basically sabered the entire top of the bottle right off, bits of glass and BBQ sauce flying everywhere. SMDH
Just like this, but with BBQ sauce instead of champagne and it splattered and flew everywhere:
Posts: 37102 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 12, 2007
Like bendable, I could regale you with hours of stupidity. In my 20's I was helping a local rancher friend bale hay. Did it the "old fashioned" way. Standing on a wood sled behind the bailor while he drove the tractor. Anyway I was using bailing hooks to grab the square bails coming off the tray & stacking them on the sled behind me. I went to hook a bail (underhand), missed & hit myself dead center in the forehead with the pointed hook. As I lay in the field on my back watching the sled pull away from me I realized, through the stars I was seeing & the blood running down my face I had to get up & run back onto the sled because Bob couldn't hear me yelling & the bails just kept coming. One instance of many incidents from my youth.
Rom 13:4 If you do evil, be afraid. For he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is God's minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.
Posts: 781 | Location: Wyoming | Registered: September 30, 2012
13 trips to the ER before my 13th birthday. Yeah, I’ve had a few Homer Simpson moments. The funniest was probably freshman or sophomore year of HS. I’m hauling ass down the hallway trying to beat the bell to class. I turn left down the industrial arts hallway and another kid was hauling ass from that hallway hanging a right onto the main. We met at the intersection both tried to avoid a collision and we did a pretty good job except for our arms. Nobody called foul so we kept running until I realized I dropped my pencil so I hit the brakes. The other kid realized there was a pencil sticking out of his arm and he hit the brakes. He pulled the pencil out and said here you go man! He said I’m all good so we just kept trucking along. To this day I haven’t a clue who that kid is.
The other standout was my crazy buddy Brian and I were doing dive rolls over a sizable bonfire one evening. It was a blast until we met head on over the fire. The flames were high enough we couldn’t see each other. We both landed in the fire and sort of bounced out unscathed except for the headaches. The rest of the evening was pretty rare, two hyperactive kids who were relatively mellow for a night.
Posts: 2692 | Location: Illinois | Registered: July 14, 2010
Was cutting up a downed tree for firewood this summer with a buddy. We were clearing up the brushy part at the top, and he was on one side of the tree with his saw and I was on the other. Normally, I like to stand inside of the branches when I cut them so they fling away from me when they unload, but I didn't want to get too close to him and his saw so I was working from the outside. Would have been fine if I'd kept working from the top down, but my dumbass somehow worked my way down and cut from closer to the base of the tree...and managed to smack myself right in the face with a 3" limb when I cut through it. Thankfully it didn't knock me out and I didn't loose any teeth or eyes, but it split my cheek wide open and made a bloody mess. My wife was on a trip overseas at the time and wasn't too sympathetic when I sent her a picture, lol.
I needed a grommet to run a wire harness thru the firewall on a project car. Found a body plug the right size and was cutting the center out with a very sharp utility knife. As I cut around so the knife blade was headed back towards me, the thought flashed thru my mind that it was really dumb to have the blade pointed at one of my appendages. Yup, that was the exact moment the blade slipped and drove into my thumb, nearly to the bone. I don't recall how many stitches it took to close that wound, but it was a lot.
Posts: 514 | Location: SE Michigan | Registered: June 15, 2010
About 20 years old. Swingset that has the rubber strap seats. Lay your chest on it and spin around to twist the chains and let go. I'm spinning clockwise, my buddy next to me going counter clockwise. Perfect head shot, I swear I saw stars!
