Man I've known for years, about 60 years old. Farms, works all the time, 7 days a week, never takes a vacation.
That's okay with me, it is his lifestyle and choice.

Sometimes I stop by to talk , see how he is doing, but lately it's not often.

Soon as he sees me, he will start in on me about "doing nothing " and not in a joking manner. I'm retired, not in good health, and 70 years old. I do what I can, but working after retiring from a job after 35 years, and declining health , my main goal is to preserve what little health I have, and certainly not going back to a job.

I think the guy is pissed because he thinks everyone should work like he does. I tell him, stand in my shoes, you would understand. But , next time I see him, no doubt, He will say the same.

Just needed to rant. Some people have the manners of a goat.

Have a new neighbor we got along with real well. Thought we were becoming friends. Then he turned intermittently and unpredictably asshole. Now we no longer speak to him unless spoken-to first.

Life's too short to waste it on assholes.

quote:

Originally posted by ensigmatic:
Have a new neighbor we got along with real well. Thought we were becoming friends. Then he turned intermittently and unpredictably asshole. Now we no longer speak to him unless spoken-to first.

Life's too short to waste it on assholes.

True.

Nothing wrong with firing a "friend" when the relationship starts to turn toxic. I've had to do it a few times and my physical and mental health have always improved as a result.

I dunno'.

I'm one of those poor fools (idiots???) that try to maintain the peace.

I would tell him in all sincerity that I would love to be able to do what he does. And that I would give my eye teeth, and my first born to have one tenth of his health.

I would appeal to his ego and tell him how you admire his work ethic and the work he gets to do. Tell him you often look longingly out the window at what he is able to accomplish, even enviousously of his accomplishments.

Then I would invite myself over to his place one night with a bottle of Jack and talk to him about the work he enjoys doing and drink until he can no longer stand up straight.

Then I would burn down his house with him in it.

OK, maybe not that last part.

H&K-Guy

Adios muchacho.

Doesn’t sound like he’s enjoying his life very much by just working. You are retired and preserving your health so you can live a better life. Sounds like he will work until the day he dies. For what? Sounds kind of like a pointless and unenjoyable life to me.

quote:

Originally posted by 64dodge:
Nothing wrong with firing a "friend" when the relationship starts to turn toxic. I've had to do it a few times and my physical and mental health have always improved as a result.

Bingo. When my friends don’t have enough of their own business to mind that they feel the urge to start minding mine as well, I let them go. I don’t truck with busybodies.

I used to be friendly with my neighbor across the street. Then he gave me a ration of shit one day for buying a gun instead of spending the money on home improvements. He actually got worked up and raised his voice because he thought I somehow needed to be yelled at about getting upgraded ductwork by someone I’m not related to or sleeping with. I told him “I got some shit I gotta take care of” and walked back across the street to my house and left him there on the sidewalk, mouth agape. That’s the last time I talked to him. Should have told him to mind his own fucking business, but he’s a little unhinged and I didn’t want to risk him burning my house down in the middle of the night with me in it.

If he's that old I'm sure he's probably set in his ways. He may be the type of person who feels health problems in retirement are sometimes attributed to a more sedentary lifestyle. And while I'm sure some are, I'm not saying that is your case. He may feel he's doing you a disservice if he doesn't give you a hard time, especially if he's aware of your health problems.

With all that said, I don't hold a strong connection to anyone that's not my Grandma, so if it ain't a pleasurable experience for you, drop it.

Life is too short. Think of it, not as saying adios, just hitting the skip button, if need be.

There are a number of people in life, who are just hell bent on you living like them, lifestyle. If you don’t, they spew their hatred in one form or another. The fact of the matter is, many people cannot think in another’s shoes. This is a lesson I learned as a young lad going my own way. The people that don’t go your same way, will bitch, make comments, these little slights. Maybe be polite, state your thing as you did here. Tell the fellow you don’t appreciate it, and to give you your respect or it’s been nice knowing you.

This isn’t something with him, it’s something with you. Respect yourself, your life, your work, and your decisions. If people don’t like it, be polite and just walk. I’ve had to go through this many times. I give the I don’t appreciate it speech. Then this won’t be tolerated any longer speech and I’ve mentioned it before. Third strike, I’m ghosting, for life. Life is just too damn short. Some/many people are never going to like people living differently than them. I think it’s just a psychological problem.

quote:

Originally posted by Prefontaine:
Life is too short.

Cut the quote short for texts sake but all good stuff.

My wife and family wonder how I can be so, "cold". It ain't about being cold, it's about realizing you're trying to climb a hill with no peak. At some point you just gotta start walking downhill. I owe zero people in this world ANYTHING, outside my children of course. If someone can't be at least 50/50, 40/60, or bring something to the table, I got no use. That's not me being greedy, that's me knowing I bring something to the table. And this ain't freaking UNICEF.

Example, my wife just flew home for the holiday, planned on 6 days, cut it to 4 because she caught so much shit from her family. Why waste the money time and effort flying home just just get shit on. Cut em loose. But she doesn't see things like me so...

I had a POS father growing up, POS grandfather. 4 step dads, 2 step mothers who were POS. Moved more than 30 times in my life, so maybe it's easier for me to see how relationships are expendable. But I think a lot of people would benefit from leaning my way jsut a tad more.

quote:

Originally posted by 64dodge:
Nothing wrong with firing a "friend" when the relationship starts to turn toxic. I've had to do it a few times and my physical and mental health have always improved as a result.

Nothing wrong at all. Dump him and be done with it.
I cleaned house in the beginning of 2021 and have been much happier as a result.

There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.

I sometimes wonder if I'm not borderline sociopathic. Whatever, I'm fine with it.

quote:

Originally posted by PHPaul:
There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.

I sometimes wonder if I'm not borderline sociopathic. Whatever, I'm fine with it.

That's about where I'm at.

I have a lot of casual friends and acquaintances, but very few close friends.

Just recently pretty much dumped a couple we thought were friends, but they seem to think that life is a one way street...it isn't.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Flash-LB,

quote:

Originally posted by H&K-Guy:
I dunno'.

I'm one of those poor fools (idiots???) that try to maintain the peace.

I would tell him in all sincerity that I would love to be able to do what he does. And that I would give my eye teeth, and my first born to have one tenth of his health.

I would appeal to his ego and tell him how you admire his work ethic and the work he gets to do. Tell him you often look longingly out the window at what he is able to accomplish, even enviousously of his accomplishments.

Then I would invite myself over to his place one night with a bottle of Jack and talk to him about the work he enjoys doing and drink until he can no longer stand up straight.

Then I would burn down his house with him in it.

OK, maybe not that last part.

H&K-Guy

I like your style!

Some people just feel like they have bust their ass doing something all day . I used to live next door to a guy that was like that . " Ken " was a retired Police Detective and could not sit still as long as the sun was shining .
He was a bundle of energy and kept his sons busy with all manner of chores .

My dad literally worked up to noon the day he died. He was happy working and miserable being idle. Never gave others shit for not being the same way though. Cut the toxicity out of your life dude. Enjoy what you have left.

I've read everyone's replies, thanks all for your opinions.

I welcome constructive criticism in my life and some one alerting me if I'm doing wrong. The best thing for me to do now is drop this person, and stay away from his negativity.

I sure don't view myself as lazy. I've worked since I was a teenager/ family farm, and later engineering. And I stay busy, doing things I can do now.

At this stage in my life, and my various health issues, I am glad just to wake up every morning.
I sure don't need some pious person telling me what I need to be doing, or not doing, unless I'm breaking the law.

Just have all of your sigforum friends who travel someplace really cool send him a postcard from there with your name and return address on it.

Let his imagination make up the narrative.

quote:

There are two people on the planet outside my family toward whom I feel any obligation at all.

I sometimes wonder if I'm not borderline sociopathic. Whatever, I'm fine with it.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That is not sociopathic more schizoid than anything else. Nothing wrong with it just the way you are.