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| Go ahead punk, make my day |
Sounds like someone needs to step up and be the man of the house. | |||
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thin skin can't win |
This is excellent advice, and precisely why we didn't enter into a rent, lease or other tenant agreement with my son when he had a temporary stay with us a year ago, not at a good juncture of his life. There was a solid trail of "you can stay with us a night or two, but may not move in in any way". Might still have had potential issues, but I've got other levers to pull to get him out if I'd had to. Also, I was working from a united front. You, clearly, are not. I just don't understand that, and the "that's what moms do" line is just BS. That's what weak-minded coddling moms do who can't see that they are hurting the kids more than helping them. ADULT kids!!! Not to mention disrespecting themselves and more directly their partner they supposedly were committed to, who HAVE upheld their end of a relationship. You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02 | |||
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| Member |
THIS... The Daughter is worth saving, the dopehead, NO. Show him the door. ********* "Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them". | |||
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Corgis Rock |
Both of my kids boomerang back home. Nothing bad, one got out of a nasty relationship and another was changing jobs and relocating. Both paid rent from the start. Both had assigned chores (I got out of changing cat boxes). Both were very happy to move out. Yes, my wife ran their budget. “ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. | |||
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| Unapologetic Old School Curmudgeon  |
Weed = No way. Get out. You don't want that in your house or around your daughter. How long before he's offering to share some with her or her friends? Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day | |||
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| Member |
That is NOT the situation here! | |||
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| Member |
Check your state laws on landlord/tenant code. In Florida, "rent" could be monetary or something as simple as him washing dishes in exchange for living there. If he does something that turns him into a "tenant" instead of a "guest", you will have to go through the eviction process at the courthouse if he refuses to vacate. | |||
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| Just because you can, doesn't mean you should |
Very simple. The mom, your wife, is the root of the problem here. The step son is the symptom. ___________________________ Avoid buying ChiCom/CCP products whenever possible. | |||
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| Member |
Or, the daughter still has a shot. The stepson has a proven track record of non achievement. | |||
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| Too old to run, too mean to quit! |
I seem to recall something about property seizure by the law enforcement community for drug violations. Is that still in place? If so, time to get the rat out. Elk There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour) "To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. " -Thomas Jefferson "America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville FBHO!!! The Idaho Elk Hunter | |||
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Member |
I had a friend in a similar circumstance, almost same scenario except no daughter, four months in to the three month stay he was living on my couch. Wife made choice of son from first marriage over him after twelve years of marriage, lost his house to her, where son still lives with her and pays her support. Screw getting legal advice on tenant law find a good divorce lawyer and hold on. Sorry see nothing but you losing in the end. Good Luck, hope I'm wrong. | |||
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| Corgis Rock |
The OP wrote: "so his is moving in for supposedly 2 months to save some $$$$ and find a new apartment." There are ways to help the kid but make leaving more comfortable then staying. “ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. | |||
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Cat Whisperer |
yea, those evil people smoking the devils lettuce.  ------------------------------------ 135 ├┼┼╕ 246R | |||
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| Go ahead punk, make my day |
Who also (in this case) can't hold a job or obtain housing like all the other adults. Smoke weed all you want, but bring it into my house, around my kid? Fuck that noise, especially when you want to live rent free..? Bitch, PLEAAAZZZE.  | |||
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| Member |
He is back in and we had a sit down prior and I told him very clearly that I love him and want him to be well and happy and this is why he is being allowed to move back in but he needs to be crystal clear that this is temporary and if I start to see him abusing it or behaving poorly he is out in an instant. I also told him I need to see proof he is saving to move out and and is looking for a new apartment. As far as the weed goes...I personally don't give a shit if people smoke but do not do it around me. I cannot stand the smell and I hate what it does to people (based on my own experiences when I was younger). My daughter is smart and strong enough to no get involved and kind of thinks her brother is a tool so she avoids him most tof the time anyway. | |||
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Member |
Consider charging rent which will be returned when he moves out. View it as a forced savings plan. Speak softly and carry a | |||
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| Member |
Was going to recommend the same with a twist. Match his savings at the end of two months. Nice parting gift. If he's doing good and making the right choices, consider extending his stay to reward his good behavior. He's family. He needs a helping hand - not a handout. Hopefully he'll learn something from all this and be better for it. Good luck to you and him. Just my $.02 | |||
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| Avoiding slam fires  |
Well you passed up some good suggestions from your invisible friends. Good luck with the little sitdown with the boy,will not work and your household will crash and burn. Happened to me decades ago,he abused every rule,his mom got a belly full of his shit and threw his ass out for good but not soon enough as he had his younger brother on that shit. I really hope it works for you though. | |||
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| Cat Whisperer |
I guess you're not wrong  ------------------------------------ 135 ├┼┼╕ 246R | |||
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Get Off My Lawn |
I would rethink this. Pot is an expensive vice. It ain't like drinking cans of Old Milwaukee after work. A guy living month to month and trying to save money is wasting money on weed. It is a luxury item to be sure. Quitting weed for awhile gets him much closer to the goal of saving for whatever you agreed upon. "I’m not going to read Time Magazine, I’m not going to read Newsweek, I’m not going to read any of these magazines; I mean, because they have too much to lose by printing the truth"- Bob Dylan, 1965 | |||
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