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What are your best verbal comebacks!? Login/Join 
Finding the
sweet spot
posted Hide Post
This happened in the OR one day when the surgeon and I were hassling his scrub tech about her poor taste in automobiles. She’d finally had enough and said, “You can both just kiss my ass!”

I replied, “Rope me off an acre I’ll get started in the morning”. She didn’t speak to me for a little over two weeks after that.
Sean


------------------------------------------
Just because you can, doesn't mean
you should.
 
Posts: 937 | Location: KCMO | Registered: September 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Stupid
Allergy
Picture of dry-fly
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Nice Big Grin ^^


"Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway." Steve McQueen...
 
Posts: 4830 | Location: TEXAS | Registered: July 18, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Ripley
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"You, you, you and your two jackass friends over there can all go fuck yourselves." (golf related, it's a long story)

The response? "Get yo scrawny white ass outta here".


___________________________

Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.
 
Posts: 4890 | Location: Columbia, Illinois | Registered: December 25, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Now in Florida
Picture of ChicagoSigMan
posted Hide Post
"I'm still preparing a formal response, but I am confident I can get it down to 2 words."

From my lawyer days.
 
Posts: 4784 | Location: FL | Registered: March 09, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just An Old Guy
posted Hide Post
Its hard to fix stupid.



What can one man do? You never know until you try.


 
Posts: 1929 | Location: VA | Registered: November 14, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Hop head
Picture of lyman
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quote:
Originally posted by Ronin101:
a friend of mine was threatened "I am going to kick your ass!"

his response " go ahead...the only thing stopping you is fear and common sense!!"

I laughed my ass off. Of course you had better be willing to back it up if you use that one lol



another version is

I could probably use a good ass whipping, but not sure you are the one that can do that,,



www.chesterfieldarmament.com
 
Posts: 6667 | Location: Beach VA,not VA Beach | Registered: July 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'm Different!
Picture of mrbill345
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quote:
Originally posted by Sevo1967:
This happened in the OR one day when the surgeon and I were hassling his scrub tech about her poor taste in automobiles. She’d finally had enough and said, “You can both just kiss my ass!”

I replied, “Rope me off an acre I’ll get started in the morning”. She didn’t speak to me for a little over two weeks after that.
Sean


Had similar - gave her a kiss on the left cheek ... of her face.



“Agnostic, gun owning, conservative, college educated hillbilly”
 
Posts: 3841 | Location: Northern Panhandle WV | Registered: March 29, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Live Slow,
Die Whenever
Picture of medic451
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“If I wanted come back, Id wipe it off your chin...”



"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I require the same from them."
- John Wayne in "The Shootist"
 
Posts: 2707 | Location: California | Registered: May 31, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
On the witness stand in a trial for an auto accident....

Defendant's lawyer asked me "Don't all NC driver's licenses have an address on them?"

My response: "I don't know, I haven't seen all of them."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Live and let live
 
Posts: 469 | Location: NC | Registered: March 05, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
paradox in a box
Picture of frayedends
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Sevo1967:
This happened in the OR one day when the surgeon and I were hassling his scrub tech about her poor taste in automobiles. She’d finally had enough and said, “You can both just kiss my ass!”

I replied, “Rope me off an acre I’ll get started in the morning”. She didn’t speak to me for a little over two weeks after that.
Sean


Years ago this hot blonde at work told me to kiss her ass. I asked, “Was that an offer?” She turned beet red.

One of the best lines used against me was a verbal argument and the guy says to me, “Who are you? You’re no one!” I had nothing and it still bothers me.




These go to eleven.
 
Posts: 9667 | Location: Lancaster, MA | Registered: November 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eschew Obfuscation
posted Hide Post
A couple I've used:

"You have a remarkable grasp of the obvious"

"It's apparent that you are veracity challenged"

I've only used the second one once, but it was great. The fellow I said it to (an exec for a large software company) finally put it together about 5 minutes later. He interrupted the call and shouted "Are you calling me a liar!?" Big Grin


_____________________________________________________________________

NRA Endowment Life Member; ISRA Member
_____________________________________________________________________

“It is amazing how many people think that they can answer an argument by attributing bad motives to those who disagree with them. Using this kind of reasoning, you can believe or not believe anything about anything, without having to bother to deal with facts or logic.” ― Thomas Sowell
 
Posts: 4089 | Location: Chicago, IL | Registered: December 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eschew Obfuscation
posted Hide Post
Not really a comeback so much as a great line to keep handy.

I was at an event and a guy stood aside to let a couple get past him. As the man past, he said to the guy. "Thank you, sir. You are a gentleman and a scholar ... and there aren't many of us left!"


_____________________________________________________________________

NRA Endowment Life Member; ISRA Member
_____________________________________________________________________

“It is amazing how many people think that they can answer an argument by attributing bad motives to those who disagree with them. Using this kind of reasoning, you can believe or not believe anything about anything, without having to bother to deal with facts or logic.” ― Thomas Sowell
 
Posts: 4089 | Location: Chicago, IL | Registered: December 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of The Bandit
posted Hide Post
"You should go apologize to that plant over there for all of the oxygen you're wasting!


_____________________________________________________________
I wonder every day how some people don't drown in the shower!!!
 
Posts: 4315 | Location: Erie, Pa, USA | Registered: April 08, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of myrottiety
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The only thing less interesting than that story is the way you told it.




Train how you intend to Fight

Remember - Training is not sparring. Sparring is not fighting. Fighting is not combat.
 
Posts: 7533 | Location: Alpharetta, GA | Registered: August 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eschew Obfuscation
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by myrottiety:
The only thing less interesting than that story is the way you told it.

A guy in my office was telling a long, rambling story to a group of us when I interrupted and said "Is there going to be a point to this story anytime in our future?"

The guy was my boss and I learned that I should reserve those witty comments for others. Razz


_____________________________________________________________________

NRA Endowment Life Member; ISRA Member
_____________________________________________________________________

“It is amazing how many people think that they can answer an argument by attributing bad motives to those who disagree with them. Using this kind of reasoning, you can believe or not believe anything about anything, without having to bother to deal with facts or logic.” ― Thomas Sowell
 
Posts: 4089 | Location: Chicago, IL | Registered: December 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get Off My Lawn
Picture of oddball
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In another life, I once had to fire a guy, a real incompetent idiot. He started to criticize me and I tried to gently offer advice, but his attacks became harsher. I stopped and said (stolen from Glengarry Glenross) "I'd wish you luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it". Got up from my chair and left.



"Did IQ's just drop sharply while I was away?"- Ellen Ripley, Aliens, 1986
 
Posts: 10692 | Location: Texas | Registered: May 13, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just because you can,
doesn't mean you should
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Money doesn't buy class or you don't have enough money.
 
Posts: 4118 | Location: North GA | Registered: August 22, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of 2BobTanner
posted Hide Post
All fur coat and no knickers. Wink


---------------------
"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." — Mark Twain
 
Posts: 1435 | Location: Falls of the Ohio River, Kain-tuk-e | Registered: January 13, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Years ago, we had this good old boy come to the hospital as a new intern. He ran into this nurse, who thought it was her duty to break in the new doctors. She was reading him the riot act about something and when she slowed down to catch her breath, he asked her name. She said, "I'm nurse Smithers!" He reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He looked at it for a minute mumbling, "Smithers, Smithers..nope, your name's not on here." She snapped back at him, "What do you mean?" He looked up and said, "Well, when I took this job, they gave me this list of people I was supposed to take shit from and your name's not on it."
 
Posts: 1265 | Registered: July 20, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Ragnar
posted Hide Post
Look here you sperm burping gutter slut.

Or....Why are you so fat!?!? Well, every time I fuck your mom she gives me a cookie.



Live every day as if it is your last, for one day you’re sure to be right
 
Posts: 725 | Location: Historic Southpark, Dayton Ohio | Registered: October 18, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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