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What's the dumbest thing you've ever been pulled over for? Login/Join 
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
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Originally posted by cndrdk:
Pulled over one night:
Officer says "your eyes are red, you been drinking?"

I reply "your eyes are glazed, you been eating donuts?"

We laughed and laughed,

I need bail money

Big Grin


"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy." Winston Churchill
Posts: 14326 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Originally posted by bigwagon:
A few years ago I was driving home from a bike race on mostly county roads, about 20 miles from my house and I see lights behind me. Pull over and the cop comes up and says "We got a report from another driver that was scared that you were following her." Uh, I was just driving home. Cop says, I followed you for a while and you weren't doing anything wrong, but she had a kid in the car and called, so we had to respond. Sorry for the trouble.

Can't argue with that at all. Maybe dumb on the lady's part being a chicken, maybe not. Good that he was straight up with and didn't hassle you.
Posts: 3177 | Registered: February 23, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Nullus Anxietas
Picture of ensigmatic
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I guess I've just been lucky, so far. I have never been pulled over when I didn't deserve it, and more than once have gotten off cheap when I could've been legitimately ticketed.

Several years ago, going into work. It was still dark. Every gorram traffic light turned against me. So by the time I got to a certain point on my route I was annoyed and driving about ten over. Topped a rise. Busted. Was honest with the cop. Then "Oops! I'd neglected to put the current proof of insurance in my wallet. She comes back. "Lucky for you you forgot that. I have to ticket you for something, so I'm ticketing you for no proof of insurance." All I had to do was stop in to their station and show I had it.

(Aside. That was one seriously hawt female officer, too. Almost made it worth the stop Wink.)

Couple years later, nearly identical thing, except evening drive. I blew the light on a left turn. Cop right behind me. Doh! (Couldn't tell, believe it or not.) Wished the officer a Merry Christmas and offered no excuse. Luckily, again, missing proof of insurance. Same ticket. (Cost me $25 in that jurisdiction, tho.)

Going home from a late-night issue at work. Get lit up. Immediately check my speedometer. Wasn't speeding. Hadn't blown any lights. "What the...?" Inform cop I'm carrying. He's cool with it. "Just leave it where it's at." Tells me why he stopped me. "Really?!?! I just replaced that very headlight not a month ago, officer. I swear!" He didn't even issue me a fixit ticket, just elicited a promised to get it fixed right away. Then I asked "It's not that I don't believe you, but I'd really like to see this for myself. Can I get out and look?" He okay'd it. I did. Sure enough.

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe
"Whenever somebody uses 'liberal,' when what they really mean is 'leftist,' they immediately lose my attention." -- Me
Posts: 13770 | Location: S.E. Michigan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I got a ticket at Camp Victory in Baghdad in late 2007 for doing 17 mph in a 15mph zone. I saw the same MP pull over a Stryker returning to the FOB from a combat patrol.

Posts: 177 | Location: Paris, VA | Registered: March 25, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Purveyor of
Fine Avatars
Picture of Orguss
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25mph in a parking lot. Apparently, the speed limit is 5mph. What makes it "dumb" is that I had been doing 110mph on the highway to get to the parking lot in time to pick up a friend from work. So it's more "lucky" than "dumb."

"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
Posts: 15468 | Location: Sonoma County, CA | Registered: April 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Oldrider
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Both dumb and funny. Left work one afternoon (on my bike), got about ten miles on way home and a city cop stopped off to the side jumped out of his car gun drawn and pointed at me. I stop. Screamed for me to get off my bike and lay down on the road. I did; he had a gun. While I'm laying there and his radio is going off I gather they're looking for someone on a black Harley (I was). Next thing I notice is some idiot (on a black Harley) goes screaming past us and on with more PD cars in pursuit. Last car is OHP. He stops abruptly, manages to back up and yell at the local "WRONG BIKE!!!!" then rejoins the pursuit.

Soon the cause of my afternoon adventure is caught... 15 MINUTES LATER! All this I and the local can listen to on his radio; him still pointing his weapon and I laying spread-eagle next to my bike. In afternoon traffic.

I'm kind of ok at this point until the idiot local tells me to go on and "Don't do this again!"

This is my problem. I've been pulled over by OHP and even when ticketed they have always been professional, courteous and fair. When a local lights me up I dread what's coming.

Your right to swing your fist stops just short of the other person's nose...
Posts: 175 | Location: Outinthesticks | Registered: October 08, 2016Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Seeker of Clarity
Picture of r0gue
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Not pulled over, but ticketed. Sleeping on the beach. We had an apartment in VA Beach after high school graduation. Took the summer down there. The apartment was gross. Full of roaches. But it had a fridge for beer and a shower. What else do you need? Anyway, we were out at the beach late evening and I fell asleep sitting in a lifeguard stand. Got a ticket for it!

They chased me back to PA and our local court. I paid it. I've spend multiple Tens of Thousands on beach house vacations since. Not a dime of it in VA for me. NC will get my business so long as I live. Very welcoming place IMO.

Staring out the windows is for love songs and house flies. -- Jay Electronica
Posts: 8444 | Registered: August 02, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just for the
hell of it
Picture of comet24
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Originally posted by sigarms229:
Maryland State Trooper that's behind me all of 5 seconds, pulls me over on I695 at 1AM and tells me I'm swerving back and forth in my lane. I politely tell him no I wasn't. He proceeds to chew me out and tell me I was and wanted to know if I've been drinking or if I'm tired.

I proceed to tell him, no, I just woke up from 8 hours sleep, took a shower, stopped to fuel up and got a coke to drink. He says something like "well I'm not sure why you are swerving around so much then". I then drop the bomb "Listen, I don't know what games you are playing but I don't appreciate it. Oh and Trooper, I have a dash cam so go ahead and try to pull your BS on me". He quickly changes his tune and says I'm letting you go with a warning but just need to run check my Drivers License. He takes my DL and comes back 2 minutes later and sends me on my way.

Looking back I have a strange feeling that he saw my Pittsburgh Penguins emblem on the rear of my van and he's probably a Caps fan.

Sounds like a perfectly good reason to stop you here. Big Grin


Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain. Jack Kerouac
Posts: 14481 | Registered: March 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of henryaz
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Originally posted by chongosuerte:
The license plate frame Icabod talks about above is another easy one. I'd never write someone a ticket over it, unless there was something crazy going on, but in NC a frame that covers the state's name is a violation.

AZ recently made this a law.
I'll have to admit I also did not know what a fog line was until I googled it. On US 93 north of Wickenburg, which is two lane, heavy truck traffic, lots of folks going to and from Vegas, I ride the fog line, on purpose. I stay dead straight on the line. There have been more than a few head-ons along the stretch I have to drive. I never knew it was a violation, maybe if you are swerving on and off it I could see. At the slightest sign of oncoming swerving towards the center, I shift over to the shoulder.
Posts: 7690 | Location: South Congress AZ | Registered: May 27, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Rinehart
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I used to have a small car restoration place in NC. Typically I would go into the DMV and have two or three or more vehicle titles to process.

This particular day it was very busy and the lady handling my stuff kept shifting the titles and paperwork around (These all were vintage MGBs). She finally finishes and hands me multiple license plates with stickers in their sleeves, etc. I think everything is peachy as the expiration dates are all in the future. All is well.

I go back to the shop and put the plates on the cars and take one out for a drive. About a mile down the main road there was a NC Highway Patrol roadblock for license/car inspection checks. I pull up to the stop and the next thing I know I’m being ordered out of the car and find myself splattered on the hood of the MGB being frisked.

Turns out that the lady in the DMV got the license plate stickers mixed up. Those stickers have serial numbers, so when they ran the serial number it came up for a different car, although the plate itself for each car was correctly processed. They finally uncuffed me and let me go, shaking their heads and looking at me as if it was MY fault.

Great hilarity ensued at the DMV the following day.
Posts: 928 | Location: PA | Registered: March 15, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of Snapping Twig
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Lights, siren and an attitude like he was arresting an armed bank robber.

Charge ... cell phone use.

Reality, I was eating a power bar and he thought I was using my cell. Cell was in my pocket the whole time.

Bet he felt stoopid! I know he did because I told him as long as I paid the price by getting pulled over so dramatically, he owed me an explanation of the rules as he understood them so I could avoid any entanglements down the road.

Cell in hand is all it takes apparently, so I told him it was a lowest common denominator, one size fits all non solution only guaranteed to produce revenue and I further advised him to consider common sense as opposed to letter of the law. Intent of the law was a better idea, get the dummies, not the wide net.
Posts: 2258 | Registered: May 28, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Crusty old
Picture of Jimbo54
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I haven't been pulled over very often since my teens and the times that I have never ended in a citation.

The only really dumb one was in the mid 70's when my first wife and I were going for a drive in our new car. We were on a secondary highway and there was zero traffic. It was the first car I owned with cruise control so I had it set for the speed limit. A car that was a good quarter of a mile behind me suddenly speeded up and lights me up. It was an unmarked county rig with two uniforms in it. The cop tells me he pulled me over for fluctuation in speed. WHAT!! I told him that I had the cruise set for the speed limit and it never changed speed, besides, how could he tell from that far back behind me? He said okay, forget it, by the way could we bum a couple of smokes from you, we ran out and we noticed that you smoked.

Yep, that's right, I got pulled over so a couple of cops could bum smokes from me. Frown



"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
Posts: 6533 | Location: The right side of Washington State | Registered: September 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Originally posted by chongosuerte:
I've never been pulled over when I didn't deserve it. I had a VW that couldn't keep a damn brake light working more than 2 days in a row. I was a guaranteed stop for the tiny town I drove through every day if they wanted it.

I do a fair amount of "fishing", if you want to call it that. In general, I stop cars for one of 3 reasons.

1, I am assigned to work an area with higher robberies/breaking and enterings. Brass wants more stops to show badguys we are around, to displace the badguys from their area of responsibility, so their bosses don't yell at them about the volume of part 1 offenses (breaking and enterings, assaults, robberies, etc.). There is no care of how many tickets one writes. Some months I write 1, some 5 or 6 (usually for no insurance or completely failing to register). Some shifts I do 10 stops, some months I do 5. I use every stop as a chance to be an ambassador as much as possible. Traffic stops are the most common contact most citizens have with the police. No reason to not keep it polite.

2, I have a moment of distraction which unbridles my burning desire to create extra paperwork for myself and get off late for something the DA is going to dismiss after I come to court 5 times on my days off, and get a case of the rookies and stop a car to try to find some dope or a gun. Usually a successful catch dampens said burning desire for a good month or two. Not worth it in this day and age, after spending 4 hours waiting at the GD jail.

3, You have dome something so assholic that I feel duty-bound to light your ass up so that all the surrounding tax-paying-citizens can say "Ha. Asshole deserved it". In the old days the conversation would begin "Ass chewing or ticket?". Crapshoot still on whether you get a token of my time leading to said 5 court dates on my days off to just be dismissed in a year. Generally influenced by whether you cuss me or not.

As far as the dumbest thing I've ever stopped someone for based on those three NC there is a book printed called "Motor Vehicle Laws, Annotated". It lists all the motor vehicle laws and then gives supporting/clarifying caselaw. It's about 4 inches thick. I have always kept a copy in my bathroom for leisure reading, and have used the knowledge gleaned during my regal perusing to make stops.

One of my favorites in NC is that if you turn from any street onto a multi-lane street/highway to the left, you can turn into any lane as long as there aren't hash marks on the roadway guiding your turn. If you turn right, however, you must stay in the right-most lane. Few people abide.

The license plate frame Icabod talks about above is another easy one. I'd never write someone a ticket over it, unless there was something crazy going on, but in NC a frame that covers the state's name is a violation. Again, an opportunity to talk to people, educate them, (keep them from having some rookie Trooper from actually writing them a ticket for it) and let the bad guys driving around know we are out.

One night I stopped an old pickup truck for no tag light. When I walked up and introduced myself to the driver I saw that the windshield was shattered, and when I ran the tag I found that it belonged to a deceased family member of the driver. The driver asked if he could see the tag light that was burned out, and I happily obliged. When we got to the back of the truck, the damn thing was working. I had walked past it twice at that point and swear it wasn't working. I was so flabbergasted that I apologized and told him to continue on his way, completely forgetting the windshield and improper registration.

He obviously had a switch and was messing with you. Classic old trick, the old double reverse to make you forget the other charges.
Nah. Old wiring just does that shit, I know, I was a DOT cop for a long time and trust me, those big old trucks got lots of lights and switches and when the driver wants to see all the stuff that wasn't working, by the time his air compressor has shut on and off and his relief valve dumped a time or two, some of that stuff that wasn't working is working again,lol. With any luck at all, there are some other ones that were working that are now not working, so you call it a draw and just write him for the real stuff,lol.
Posts: 300 | Registered: November 30, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Now in Florida
Picture of ChicagoSigMan
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Not really a stupid pullover story but still a story I enjoy telling. When I finished law school in Texas, I went to work in Manhattan. I gave my car to my dad to use at his winter place in Florida. On a visit during a holiday, i was driving that car and a cop lit me up and pulled me over. He came to the window and told me that he stopped me because my registration was expired. The car still had Texas plates and Texas had at some point switched from license plate registration stickers to windshield stickers, so the sticker on my plate was probably a few years old. I explained that to the officer, who took a quick glance at my windshield sticker to verify that I had one and then said he was sorry for the stop. Once he left, I started laughing, and my wife asked me what was so funny. I told her that the windshield sticker was also expired. The officer just didn't examine it very closely. When I got home, I told my dad he needed to register the car in Florida
Posts: 4734 | Location: FL | Registered: March 09, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
On the DL
Picture of V-Tail
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11:00 PM, southwest bound out of Chicago on I-55 (Stevenson Expressway). Three lanes in each direction. This was back when the speed limit was 55 mph. I was in the rightmost lane, driving 60 mph. 18-wheelers in the lanes on my left were zooming by, estimated 70 mph, maybe a bit more.

County cop pulls me over, writes me for 61 in a 55 zone. I said, "what about all those trucks that were passing me?"

He looks over, many trucks still zooming by, and says to me, "What trucks?"

I go to court with lawyer, who knows the prosecutor. She (prosecutor) asks me how fast I was really going. I told her I thought 60, but if radar said 61 I was not going to argue about 1 mph.

Prosecutor asks who the cop was, my lawyer looks at the ticket and tells her. Prosecutor then asks me if I was driving a Cadillac. Nope, Mercedes sedan. Prosecutor says that particular cop would write anybody in a Cadillac, Lincoln, Mercedes, etc. for even 2 mph over the posted limit. Best she could do for me, with my clean record, was ask the court for "supervision." I would pay the speeding fine and if I kept my nose clean for 6 months, there would be nothing on record; if I got another ticket I would be slammed for both of them. I was going to protest, my lawyer jabbed me with his elbow and thanked the prosecutor.

A mind is a terrible thing.
Posts: 18044 | Location: Central Florida (near Orlando) | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Ok, I will play along:
I had recently moved to the Yoop from Ohio and to avoid the outrageous, exorbitant insurance hike you get when you register your vehicle in Michigan, I was holding onto to my Ohio plates desperately. I did obtain a Michigan drivers license.
Here is the stop:
I had been to Duluth (fun town, Duluth) and was enroute back to the Yoop. Just east of Superior WI, I was cruising along with traffic and all of us were ignoring the 55 MPG limit by a small margin, as everyone is known to do. Wisconsin State Trooper approaching me in the opposite lane activates his overheads and sticks his hand out the window, waving it vigorously. I am a friendly kind of guy, so I wave and cruise on by him. Trooper executes a screaming, tire shredding U-turn and pulls me over. My rear Ohio plate is mounted in a frame that says:
"Fraternal Order of Police". This partially obscures the word OHIO on the plate. At this point I should note that if I am stopped for a legitimate violation and treated with professionalism, I take the citation with no disrespect and go on with my life branded as a traffic scofflaw.
Our Conversation:
Tpr: How am I supposed to know what state these plates are from?
Me: Have you considered asking me where they are from?
Tpr: Step out of the truck.
We then adjourn to the rear of my truck (something I never did on a minor offense stop, since it puts a driver out in the passing traffic) and he points out the license plate frame.
Me: So what's the violation?
Tpr: 61 MPH in the 55 Zone.
Me: Geezus! Thank God you intervened before I killed someone!
Tpr: I need to see your license and registration.
I comply.
Tpr: You have Ohio plates but you have a Michigan drivers license.
Me: That's correct.
Tpr: How can you do that?
Me: I have a house in Ohio and a house in Michigan too. I split my time evenly between the two and pay taxes in both states, thus I have legal residence in both states.
(which was actually true, since my former home in OH was still in my name)
Tpr: Well if you lived in Wisconsin, I would cite you for that.
Me: I don't live in Wisconsin.
Tpr: Are you a cop?
Me: In a past life.
Tpr: I guess you think that FOP stuff gets you out of traffic tickets?
Me: It has not done a thing for me in that regard, but it should tell cops who stop me something.
Tpr: What's that?
Me: That I can spot a chicken shit pinch pretty quickly!
Tpr: Have a seat in your truck!
At this point I am wondering if I am in time for lunch at the local lockup. And what the tow bill will come to.
The Trooper comes back to me with what looks like a ticket.
Tpr: I am going let this go with just a warning.
Me: Great! Thanks!
He kicks ne loose. The warning ticket was the nicest I had ever seen. It was computer generated and printed. Wisconsin spent money to automate the ticketing process. From the patrol car. That tells me that traffic enforcement in WI. is big business!

End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
Posts: 6631 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I Am The Walrus
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Originally posted by rch73:
I got a ticket at Camp Victory in Baghdad in late 2007 for doing 17 mph in a 15mph zone. I saw the same MP pull over a Stryker returning to the FOB from a combat patrol.

Had a LTC tell me a story of how he got pulled over for speeding on a bicycle at Buehring. I asked him how did the MP know he was speeding. He said the MP told him that the speed limit was 10 mph and if the bicycle was going faster than the car then it was obviously speeding... Roll Eyes

Had a buddy who the MPs tried to pull over on Buehring while he was riding his bicycle. When he saw what they were doing, he just cut off into the maze of barracks where their truck couldn't go. Big Grin


Posts: 9231 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: March 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Picture of cparktd
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Not pulled over, but my Brother in Law was stopped at a pull off river access point. Cool weather, windows quickly fogged over mostly.

Someone knocks on his window, he rolls it down with a half drunk beer in his hand. It's a county cop.

Cop ask him if he has any more beers, BIL says yes, cop asks for one, thanks him for it and returns to his cop car to drink the beer. When done he drives off.

Deplorable before deplorable was cool!
Posts: 1802 | Location: Middle Tennessee | Registered: February 07, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I have a licence plate frame (Univ Houston) that I bought from a State of Texas university. Buddy, who is a cop told me that it is illegal as it covers too much of the state name on the plate. He added that no decent officer would write it but it is a reason to stop if the officer is suspicious or fishing. Wonder how that would play out in court? Got a ticket for violating a Texas state law by using a license frame purchased from the State of Texas.

I suppose the judge could say that it's not wrong for the state to sell it, it's just illegal for the buyer to put it on his car.
Posts: 970 | Location: Texas Hill Country | Registered: April 07, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fighting the good fight
Picture of RogueJSK
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Originally posted by YooperSigs:
The warning ticket was the nicest I had ever seen. It was computer generated and printed. Wisconsin spent money to automate the ticketing process. From the patrol car. That tells me that traffic enforcement in WI. is big business!

Most agencies are switching to e-citations. It's actually really handy. It saves time and unnecessary paper.

You don't have to worry about sending copies out to the right people, since it's all automated, and extra copies can be printed or sent electronically as needed.

You don't have to write everything by hand; much of it auto-populates, and the rest is easy to fill in.

And best of all, other folks don't have to struggle with trying to decipher the writing on their copy of the ticket.

Which would you rather try to read? Something like this:

(An admittedly extreme example, but I've seen some really shitty ones before, as I'm sure you did back in your day)

Or would you prefer this:
Posts: 20682 | Location: Northwest Arkansas | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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