Let me summarize this film in one simple word: Explosions. There are lots and lots of explosions occuring in this movie. It's as if Michael Bay had a seizure and added two too many zeros to the number of explosions he wanted in the movie, realized his error, shrugged, and used 'em all anyway. Now, I know what you're thinking, "But, Orguss, this is Michael Bay. His shtick is explosions." Nay, I say, this is a new, more explodey level of Michael Bay.

Mark Wahlberg and Josh Duhamel co-star in this installment. As you may remember, Josh Duhamel's Col. Lennox was involved in the first three movies, while Wahlberg's Cade Yaeger was introduced in the one previous to The Last Knight. In that movie, Optimus Prime realized he needed to leave Earth in search of answers to why the Autobots were being hunted. In this movie, he...doesn't find that answer.

Instead, he ends up drifting through space until he eventually finds Cybertron somewhere in the area between Jupiter and the edge of the solar system. It is there that he discovers there is a foe greater than even the Decepticons. In order to defend against that foe, save his planet and species, he must rejuvenate Cybertron and to do so means the Earth must die, which requires that he turn his back on his friends.

^ That is the description I will leave you with; however, it is entirely misleading. This movie revolves so much around humans and so little with Optimus or any of the Autobots and Decepticons, that when shit does go down you're left wondering just how it is humans are capable of achieving the goals needed to succeed in defending the Earth.

This movie is much better than most of the previous movies, save the first. And yet it is equally just as bad. But then, all of the Transformers movies have been bad. We all are quite readily aware of the fact that Michael Bay has destroyed what we've loved about the Transformers cartoons and 1984 movie. This movie is just a continuation of that. And,(spoiler!) no, it doesn't mark the end of the series.

Look, if you've managed to watch each of the previous movies, you'll be able to watch this one. As I've stated, it is better than the previous ones. The story is really wonky, there are a lot of obvious continuity errors, and a lot of the humor is forced. But there's action! And explosions! And plentiful shots of a curvy model-turned-actress's ass! And explosions!

There is an Easter Egg scene that shows up fairly early in the closing credits. No need to wait longer than that. There's no need to see this in the theater unless you've got to get out of the house and have nothing better to do. The sound editing kinda sucks while the visual/special effects are too chaotic to follow even on the big screen. Just wait for the rental.

Michael Bay has said this is the last Transformers movie he'll direct. If you took solace in that, don't bother. He left the door wide open for another sequel.

Yeah, I'll wait for the rental.

The first one was, objectively, a decent movie. Yes, it was very explode-y, but it had a story line that was easily followed and made sense from beginning to end. They took that basic outline and threw it out the window for all the sequels. The back door of the Smithsonian opens out to the desert? Really??

Now, that said, I'm going to see this turd, because I'm a masochistic completionist. I need to see every movie in a series, no matter how bad, because reasons.

I'm beyond excited that Bay is leaving. I can't wait to see what another director can do with this franchise.

I'm proud to say I've never watched a single shitty Michael Bay Transformers movie, they are all the same.

Transformers is a cartoon that was watched on Saturday mornings while 10 to 12 years old. Not this bullshit!

The first one was the perfect summer movie

Hot chick....check

Comedy?....check

Giant robot death matches....check

'Murica? Check


The rest have pretty much sucked

quote:

Originally posted by Kevbo:
The first one was the perfect summer movie

Hot chick....check

Comedy?....check

Giant robot death matches....check

'Murica? Check

Every movie save the last one has had that in spades. This one is not so far off that, either. Maybe it left off the 'Murica part, since it is based partly in merry olde England.

If I had to say which part I disliked most about this movie, it's the continuity errors that occur in rapid succession toward the end of the movie. At one point, Cade is wielding what I can only assume is the actual Excaliber sword, yet it pans to a wide shot and it's totally gone from the shot and never seen again. Same thing with Optimus' sword. One second he's got it on his back, the next it's nowhere to be seen, then he's holding it in the following shot, then it's gone again.

There's no more 'murica in these movies because these movies are made for the Chinese and other countries that want more explosions and don't care about the story because they don't speak English.

The 4th one made more money in China than it did here. It made like $250m here but somehow still crested the billion dollar mark because of the international box office.

quote:

Originally posted by Orguss:
And plentiful shots of a curvy model-turned-actress's ass!

How the Purveyor of Fine Avatars says "Dat Azz tho'"

Super blurry robots fighting!

quote:

Originally posted by Cliff:
Yeah, I'll wait for the rental.

Same, but I'll wait for it to be on cable. I don't know what is worse these or the Fast and Festerment franchise.

I've been a huge Transformers fan from day one. Loved the first movie, didn't like the second, loved the third one, didn't like the fourth one. I was hoping this would be like the original Star Trek where every other one would be good. It's sometimes hard for me to let go of the gen 1 story but I've managed. I'd love to see a Netflix series reboot but I know the budget would be prohibitive.

Like most series, they've gone way too far for me. I was a fan at the beginning, now I want nothing more to do with this theme.