I'm pregnant by a negro Daddy. His name is Rufus, I didn't wanna tell you but since we're baring our souls to each other. Rufus is a pacifist; a pacifist homosexual.

“Can you believe dad bought me this dress? He can be so childishly sentimental sometimes. Isn't this ridiculous?…
…My darling, there's an enormous booger in your nose”

But you'll get to like him after awhile Dad. Dwarfs are easy to like, especially when they're bald and cross-eyed.

And Dad I think he truly thinks the world of you and Mom, especially Mom. You should see the way he looks at what she wears.

Okay, Hogs, I've listened to you bellyache about moving to this hew town. This said bellyaching will end as of 1530 hours, will not affect the morale of this squadron henceforth. Do I make myself clear?

A fighting man must be vigilant to surprise attack no matter where he is. The survival of our nation depends on the readiness of Marines all over the world. Also more importantly, you only wiped yourself twice - grossly insufficient. Right now, germs with names you can't even pronounce are preparing to launch a devastating attack that will render you helpless in the defense of your country...

quote:

Originally posted by 911Boss:
I'm pregnant by a negro Daddy. His name is Rufus, I didn't wanna tell you but since we're baring our souls to each other. Rufus is a pacifist; a pacifist homosexual.

You forgot the rest of the joke.

"After a pause, she says, 'I'm not pregnant. I failed biology. I just wanted to ease the blow.'"