that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

I have eight different bosses now.

I beg your pardon?

Eight bosses, Bob.

Eight?

Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Not now, Lumberg, I've got a meeting with the Bobs.


I was thinking about taking that chick from logistics. Show her my Oh face. Oh, oh. You know what I'm talking about. Oh.


It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

I’ll be honest with you, I love his music... I’m a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

That'd be great, mmmkay?

Peter! I see you've been missing a lot of work lately...

I wouldn't say I've been "missing" it Bob.

Watch out for your cornhole bud.

-What would you do if you had a million dollars?

-I'll tell you what I'd do, man... Two chicks at the same time.

PC load letter, what the fuck does that mean?

I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing... and it was everything that I thought it could be.

No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.

quote:

Originally posted by P250UA5:
No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.

Mr Samir, Naga..Na..not gonna work here anyway!

Sounds like a case of the mondays!

No.... No, man! Shit no, man! I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that, man.

Fuckin' A

quote:

Originally posted by RogueJSK:
-What would you do if you had a million dollars?

-I'll tell you what I'd do, man... Two chicks at the same time.

That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?

Bob Slydell: Milton Waddams.

Dom Portwood: Who's he?

Bob Porter: You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot.

Dom Portwood: Oh, yeah.

Bob Slydell: Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here.

Bob Porter: I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck.

Bob Slydell: So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch.

Bill Lumbergh: Great.

Dom Portwood: So, uh, Milton has been let go?

Bob Slydell: Well, just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it'll just work itself out naturally.

Bob Porter: We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem is solved from your end.

I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...

And yes, I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this whole resort down. Sir? I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your board of tourism and I could have this place condemned. I could put... I could put... strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, BIG grains of salt.

a riveting Documentary.