My mother passed a few years ago. Rheumatoid arthritis was her demise, amongst other things. She was on pain patches, orencia therapy, numerous other meds. Before we placed her in assisted living, my sister (after coming home from work) would find her in various places in her garage apartment, unable to get up. She had no quality of life imo, with little contact from outsiders other than a few visitors from her church. Her quality of life improved dramatically after we placed her in a facility. She had a tight circle of friends there, all with maladies themselves. With regular medical care and monitoring, her health and mental outlook improved quite a bit. She made it about 3 more years there, and I would definitely say she was able to die with dignity.

I was extremely lucky in how my father died. It was quick. Knowing him, and having this discussion with him on more than a few occasions, I'm positive that he'd say he was lucky too. I hope I'm as lucky to have an end like dad did.


My dad did 40 years on the Chicago Fire Department, he was a card carrying member of the "Been there, done that" club.
I'm at the 25 year mark of playing cops and robbers. A couple years in the Marines.
My Lil Brother is a career Marine, with more than a few combat tours.


We've seen way more than our fair share of people hit the exit door.
And yes, it is possible to die with dignity. I also realize that there's a HUGE difference between life and death. Living a great, meaningful and fulfilling life is a totally different subject. I think this may be rather subjective, however-

Quick, painless... Something in the middle of sleep. The old "Never seen it coming". A loud bang, a flash of light. A very fast, hot pain, not quick enough to fully register much more than an "Oh shit!" in the brain. A loud crash. Even an extreme tightness in the chest. A searing headache.
Again, quick...
That's not a bad way to go.
If I have a choice in shedding off this mortal coil, that's the way I want.


Not so much laying in a bed for months, years... Can't remember my name, in a piss soaked diaper, some nurse that couldn't give a damn about me. Lost, in my own mind. Alone, on a cold floor, found sometime well after my dog's food ran out. In a hospital, on some machine that just keeps me around, because family members are fighting.

FUCK
THAT

I've seen and been around both. Not much "dignity" in the slower way.
To me, that "slowness" is what leaches dignity away.

At the time I posted this, my Mom was in ICU comfort care. Just over 24 hours later she passed.

I was there with her at the time along with my brother and an uncle. Mom was in no pain and went peacefully. The hospital and staff went above and beyond in tending not only to her needs, but also the needs of those with her. I am thankful for that.

To answer my own question, she died with dignity, my doubts were due to me projecting negative thoughts.

I came back to this thread simply to share that I found my answer. There was an overwhelming moment of peace and joy when she passed. Even now while there are times of sadness, I focus most on the times of hapiness.

I will request that this thread be locked. Thanks to all who reaponded and viewed.