As some of you know, I've been having a hell of a time job searching. Seems my education has gone to waste but that's a different thread.

Classmate of mine from my MBA program and I have kept in touch for a few years. She works a successful job in the healthcare industry in Florida. Pretty book smart, not so much real world smart. She was selling some scent related stuff last year, you know, heat it up in some sort of electric thingy and your house smells not like wet dog since we have 3 dogs. I bought some, tried to support her because, you know, that's what friends try to do.

Fast forward to this year and I recall a conversation we had about her referring me into her organization. When this conversation first started last year, her response was "I got you." Now English isn't my first language and I'm decent with hood speak but if someone says they "got me," that means they're going to take care of me. Whether that means a referral or the check at the restaurant. I bring it up to her and she claims she never said it.

I send her some positions I'm interested in and she says "I don't even know how to refer someone." Now these large companies pay referral bonuses. If it were me and I was trying to refer someone in and would get paid for it, I'm gonna track down how to do it. First start off with my boss and then the worthless HR tricks who are neither human nor a resource. This leads me to the conclusion she simply doesn't want to refer me. That's fine but at least be adult enough to tell me.

I apply and I'm rejected.

Then this bitch sends me a job description which she knows perfectly fucking well I'm not qualified for. I don't have PMP or Lean Six or whatever the fuck else they're asking for. It's like she wanted me to apply just to fail like it's a joke to her.

Told her on the demographics questions, I'm going to identify as a black woman for double protection. She said black women don't have an advantage.

This is also someone who told me black people can't be racist.

No wonder why her boyfriend dumped her and she's in therapy. Was probably tired of her shit.

The point of this is that people will tell you what you want to hear but when you ask them for help, they disappear. And no, I haven't lost her phone number and told her to fuck off. I have a long memory and keep my enemies close.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

She flaked. My past is strewn with abandoned flakes. I keep them at a distance if I keep them at all. She's clearly simple minded if she bought that racism line. Humans are humans regardless of skin color, culture and heritage. We can all be bigots, sexists, phobes du jour, selfish, prejudiced etc. That she can't or won't acknowledge that makes her a bigot etc... Leave her at the curb and move on.

The people here on this forum is why I keep coming back. If someone here gives me their word, I’m believing them. If the rest of society had the integrity of this forum, we wouldn’t have many problems in this world.

Judge Judy would ask you if you got that in writing.

If not, she would tell you, "you don't have a contract", and make a rectangle in the air with her fingers, and then people would snicker.


I understand the frustration with the job hunt, but "hood speak", is not worth the tongue it's written with.

When she replied she never said it, you and Elvis shoulda left the building.

I suspect you are angry for playing hard and long and finding you were the only one on the field.

Turn that energy back into motivation, as anything you spend on the whole of it is wasted for you, and you don't need the bad chemical dump continuing.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

PMP or Lean Six

PMP = Project Management Professional (or something like that)
Lean Six = MFG quality cert for LEAN MFG or 6 Sigma (basically MFG best practices)

@Edmond What are you looking to do? I am in manufacturing and am more than willing to help out if I can.

If she was selling some candle smelling shit then she's an idiot anyway. I figure anyone falling for those pyramid schemes are idiots. But as you said, I know a lot of book smart people that sell that crap and they have no common sense.

Anyhow, on the referral, it could just be laziness and even knowing the chances are low. I work for big pharma and our referral system changes now and then. It's a pain in the ass to refer someone and even then, these days it doesn't even guarantee an interview. I usually avoid doing it if possible.

quote:

Originally posted by Gustofer:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Incredibly succinct. Sometimes you just want to believe so much that you can’t see what’s really in front of you.

When a person thinks they have no choice, that is when you see their true character. - Suits (TV / 2014 S4 E7)

Likely inspired from: John Stuart Mill: On Liberty (1859)

Big mouth, tiny brains. Now you know for sure. Use it to your advantage or discard. Life is too short, don’t waste more time and move on.

0-0

Listen to the words, watch the actions, and you will be able to discern.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:

I suspect you are angry for playing hard and long and finding you were the only one on the field.

sigmonkey...that right there is the quote of the day. Shoot, do you mind if I use it sometime?

Edmond, my only advice is to move on and don't look back.

Sorry this happened. I’ve had it happen to me enough times that I consider everyone an acquaintance until they prove themselves to be a friend. I also learned not to ever have expectations of people, lest I set myself up for disappointment. In my opinion, you wasted your time calling her out on it. Best to write her off and move on. If that seems like a bitter and jaded way to go through life, at least it’s a less disappointing way to do it.

You’ll find something. Hang in there, lose your expectations and any sense that anyone owes you anything and I’ll be more than willing to bet lightning strikes.

quote:

Originally posted by KCFormula:

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

PMP or Lean Six

PMP = Project Management Professional (or something like that)
Lean Six = MFG quality cert for LEAN MFG or 6 Sigma (basically MFG best practices)

@Edmond What are you looking to do? I am in manufacturing and am more than willing to help out if I can.

I like Lean Sigma and think it is useful. I think PMP is a waste - like anything else, just because someone has that doesn't mean it will help.

What are you looking for. I work in health care. Email me.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:

quote:

PMP or Lean Six

PMP is some project mannagement certification. People I know jokingly call it 'pimp', as in they're not happy with their current job so they're going to study to get their pimp and go for project management jobs.

Lean Six Sigma is some kind of business process methodology cult that is/was inexplicably popular among very large organizations that are in or approaching death spirals. Not sure if it's cause or effect exactly but one way or another empirical observation indicates anything embracing Six Sigma is doomed.

quote:

Originally posted by Gustofer:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I couldn't have said it better !

I was once in a similar situation as the OP. A good friend of mine, who I once hired to work for me in another lifetime, is now a VP at a large company.

A few years ago when I was out of work, I could barely get him to return my phone calls. The industry that he works in is similar to the industry that I worked in at the time, after all of our years of friendship and conversations about working together again, I was shocked and a little hurt that he could not at least get me an interview with somebody within his company.

After some time, I was able to track him down. Eventually I got him to admit that the roles that he had available were probably roles that while I might want them, he did not think I was qualified for and would not be a good fit for.

Oh we had quite the conversation after that; I told him I wished he would have just told me that at the beginning. That I would’ve rather of heard that, than him essentially ghosting me.

With all respect to the OP, it is possible his one time friend made a throwaway comment of support, (I got you) that she could not back up, and now does not have the courage to admit it.

Her sending him the job posting with the sigma and project manager requirements, makes me think that was her passive aggressive way of telling him he’s not qualified to work in her organization.

quote:

Originally posted by Gustofer:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I learned this the hard way with my ex-wife.

But I learned from it and it has served me since.

Just like LT. Vince Hanna said, “don’t waste my motherfucking time”.

I no longer suffer fools. And it’s glorious.