This is for y'all uncouth, knuckle-dragging fuckers out there. It's gonna come in real handy next time you're at the Golden Corral.

Hmmmm......not placing my napkin on a chair full of decades of ass juice and then wiping my mouth.

Did those rules apply to the places I visit that usually just keep a roll of paper towels on the table for you?

Since it's gauche to use my napkin, is it okay to blow my nose on the table cloth?

So, is she saying that blowing ones nose and then tossing the used napkin onto your plate is bad form? The auto center service tech I saw do that recently would be extremely distressed if he knew it was a faux pas.
ETA: Dangit beat by seconds

The Silent Service Code - the napkin as a signal flag. I must have missed that in boot camp.

Some people, like her, actually go to school for this - finishing school or some such.

So I gotta take my jeans off and lay them on top of my legs now?

This brings up question I have re paper towel etiquette when driving.

When driving home from the VA (an 85 mile trip) I always stop at Canes drive-through and get the six piece box. I park and eat the coleslaw, then prepare for the drive.

I keep a roll of paper towels in my 2006 LR3 (upper-crust so I use the 1/3rd sheets!)and use a six towel length to tuck under my shoulder strap and into my shirt collar to intercept the inevitable sauce drip. The open container box is placed on the passenger set with both cups of sauce emptied into the top right section - right above the fries. I am not hesitant to dip each and every chicken strip and french fry into the sauce - in a very manly way! The plastic bag is draped over an empty water bottle in the passenger side cup holder. A large no ice Diet Coke is in the left side holder.

I keep an extra paper towel to my immediate right on the counsel and the roll is on the passenger seat. The meal usually last about twenty minutes while driving on the Gulf of Mexico water side road.

My question is this: When the above mentioned inevitable drip of sauce lands on the lower towel of the six towel length, I usually tear it off before it migrates to my groin.

Do I use the loose fold on the this paper towel and place it on the passenger seat, or do I crumple it up and toss it into the plastic bag?

PS: Thank goodness I have yet to have the sauce land on one of the center towels - this would be very complex.

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I learned everything I know from Downton Abbey

Nah. Lorraine has buffet etiquette down at least at the casino. Enjoy..

I find her seriousness funny.

Damn, Jim, I didn’t know you were that fucken couth!

This is both proper and practical:

By the way, if I go to the bathroom or get up for any other reason, no way I'm putting the napkin on the chair where other asses have sat! Then I should should put it to my mouth? Fuck that!

Maybe she can help Borat?
(NSFW)



Link to original video: https://youtu.be/eH9w6kxPIyU

Dining etiquette? This is more my style.



Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJY2VnTcfK8

I couldn't help but think of the Three Stooges.

While I prefer a roll of paper towels on the table, I am occasionally called upon to eat in more polite company. A tip she gave near the end, to leave the napkin on the chair when temporarily leaving the table, might have saved me - and the server or bus person - some embarrassing moments. I have gotten up in the middle of a meal to take a shit use the restroom and came back to find my table cleared of everything. Would this tip have worked on those occasions, I can't say for sure, but the point is that I never knew about it.

quote:

Originally posted by 6guns:
By the way, if I go to the bathroom or get up for any other reason, no way I'm putting the napkin on the chair where other asses have sat! Then I should should put it to my mouth? Fuck that!

We were taught to drape the napkin over the chair back to signal our return, not in the chair. I wouldn't lay it in the chair either.



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quote:

Originally posted by egregore:I have gotten up in the middle of a meal to take a shit use the restroom and came back to find my table cleared of everything. Would this tip have worked on those occasions, I can't say for sure, but the point is that I never knew about it.

In today's age of restaurant dining, only your two & three star restaurants would know. There's a table captain keeping watch on everything that is happening, they'd know you'd have excused yourself temporarily.

Most restaurants, basic courtesies and processes has been lost given there's more job opportunities than food service; one of my pet peeves is a server/busier clearing plates before everyone at the table has completed their meal. I don't expect that level of service at a Black Bear Diner but, if the restaurant is presenting itself as upscale and refined, it better have some basics down.

Not much on fancy eating, I just wipe my mouth with my sleeve.