Firstly, happy birthday Mr. President, I humbly bask in the reflected glory of our day of birth, 6-14-19XX. Hail to the Gemini!

Secondly, $300 has accumulated as my personal birthday gifts.

Thirdly, I was listening to Woody Gutherie's rendition of the 'Rye Whiskey' song. 'Lightning strikes' as they say and in the flash of brilliance (may the reach of the noetic moment not exceed the metaphoric grasp, and may I humbly beg the grace of present and future company to lay claim to a gifted millisecond of benevolent satori) it occurred to me that I have no recollection of having been a duck diving in an ocean of rye whiskey (with all due attendant apologies and kowtows to the multiverse if such has been the case).

Fourthly, presenting the situation to self as both problem and problem solver-the observed and observer-the solution shines like a shaft of gold when all else around is dark. Fill a bathtub with whiskey and bathe in said whiskey.

A few constraints, no canadian whiskey... that stuff lacks manliness. I won't drink it much less bathe in it. No irish, too spendy. No indian, GAK what was in that Ganges river water. Drinking 80 proof distilled leper-water is still drinking leper-water.

So, the remaining whiskies are bourbon and scotch. Regarding blends like Kentucky Tavern/Deluxe/Gentleman/WKWTF whiskies, and Kessler/Bellows/etc blends, those are right the fuck out. If I wanted to bathe in vodka then I would just buy vodka from the get-go.

After examining the bottom shelf, the bourbon contenders are Benchmark 8, Evan Wkilliams Green, JTS Brown, McKenna, and Ancient Age Straight.

The bottom shelf scotch with bath appeal is Highland Mist. It is cheaper than straight whiskey and a blend of highland, islay, lowland, and speyside scotches. The four region blend is a plus. Swank stuff.

Mathematically, I am estimating that the bathtub holds about 50 gallons. I reckon that I will displace 20 gallons and so the net volume of whiskey needed for a bath is 30 gallons or 132 liters. The cost, at $15/1.75 liters, seems to be more than the birthday gifts. Can someone confirm the math?

Question:
Should mr kablammo spend his birthday money batheing in whiskey?

Choices:
Yes
No

 

You only live once my friend. Go for it.

I'd kindly ask that you reconsider the Canadian whiskeys though. They really are quite good. And, while I've not bathed in them exactly, I've consumed enough over the years to fill up several of your bathtubs so I consider myself a bit of an expert.

I am with Gustofer on the Canadian ,I have drank most of the other stuff over the years and never liked it.
The Canadian black crown is real good .
If this is on your bucket list ,go for it.

No.

Waste of whiskey.

I remember reading a Sherlock Holmes off-shoot or something similar, where someone did a Houdini escape, but in a container full of beer.

They either drowned or nearly did, due to the beer absorbing through their pores.

Not sure if that's possible, but I think I'd try if I had the chance!

quote:

leper-water

There's a reason they refer to scotch, bourbon and whiskey as, "The Browns".

Nah. Life is too short for cheap whisky and even bathing in it seems like a bad idea. Bathing in good whisky seems like sacrilege.

Yo do this and you're gonna make a mess...
30 gallons is more like 113 liters.

But, either way, $300 isn't enough to get you pickled using the immersion method.

That may well be quite dangerous. Might want to talk to a doctor or biologist first. And wouldn't you need some really big ice cubes?

Sounds like osmotic drunkenness to me!

No. You should donate it to the local St Vincent DePaul food pantry or a domestic abuse shelter.

quote:

Originally posted by x0225095:
No. You should donate it to the local St Vincent DePaul food pantry or a domestic abuse shelter.

The whiskey?

you don't have to do it 'neat'

a handle or 2 of cheap stuff, like Jim Beam, into a tub of water,

put the rest of the money towards a good meal, ammo, guns, whatever you want,

Seems if you're applying alcohol to the outside- You're using it wrong.

Won't you smell like a drunk for a week?

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:
Won't you smell like a drunk for a week?

If he drinks his bath water, he will be drunk for a week.

Jim

Do you have any open cuts or recent surgeries?

Sure, bathe away your fungus ridden self....then bottle up the bath product and sell the elixir to the local Imbibing Society. Get your bath and a tidy profit! Marketed shrewdly, you may also become a spiritual leader to your new user friends, and potential wealth opportunity

quote:

Originally posted by Aeteocles:
No.

Waste of whiskey.

You can get a fine bottle of Macallen Rare Cask for that (to drink of course ) , FAR better use with a little left over for a fine cigar.