A blind guy sits down in a diner and says to the waiter, "I'm sorry, but I'm blind and can't read the menu.

So just bring me a dirty fork, I'll smell it, and order from there."

The waiter picks up a greasy fork, and hands it to the blind guy.

The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, breathes deep, and says, "Ah , that's what I'll have meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

The waiter can't believe it, and he goes and tells his wife, Joan, who's the cook

The next day the blind guy walks in and the waiter says, "I'll get you a dirty fork."

He gets a dirty fork, hands it to the blind guy.

The blind guy smells it, and says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

The waiter thinks the blind guy is bull****ting with him, so the next day when the blind guy walks in, he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife, "Joan, rub this fork on your crotch."

She does it, and then he goes out and hands it to the blind guy.

The blind guy puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Are you kidding me?

I didn't know Joan worked here

Made me laugh but good, but after a hard day, it hurt.

I thought he would say: Yep, I will have the fish!

There's a similar joke about a blind man getting a job at the lumber mill and classifying different types of wood. The punchline is: "If I had to guess, I'd say it was the shithouse door off a tuna boat."

In another joke all the nuns in the convent are in their bras and panties when there’s a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Blind man. The nun thinks what the heck and let’s him in. Guys says hello sister, where do you want these new blinds?

Thanks for the laugh.

Especially helpful after a rough day at work.

an old Jewish guy is sitting on a bench eating his lunch when a blind guy comes and sits down next to him.
Being friendly, he offers him a matzo.
The blind guy accepts it, examines it for a moment, and says.... "who wrote this crap?"

A blind guy went into a store, picked up his seeing eye dog by its hind legs and started swinging it around. The store clerk asked, "Sir, can I help you?" "No thanks, I'm just looking."

I've always wondered why the drive-up ATM has a Braille keypad...

but thats just me going hmmmm

Ok, I laughed!

Q: What do you call Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis?
A: Endless Love

I was walking downtown and stopped at an intersection waiting for the crosswalk light. A blind man was standing there with his seeing eye dog, and the dog lifted his leg and whizzed on the man's leg. The man reached down to give the dog a Milk Bone. I interrupted and asked "Do you know what he just did?" The man said he did, so I asked "Then why are you giving him a treat?" He replied, "I'm just trying to figure out where his head is so I can kick him in the ass."

quote:

Originally posted by nhtagmember:
I've always wondered why the drive-up ATM has a Braille keypad...

but thats just me going hmmmm

Local Kroger store has a Michigan State Lottery Instant Ticket vending machine. It has Braille on it above the keypad too.

quote:

Originally posted by tk13:
I was walking downtown and stopped at an intersection waiting for the crosswalk light. A blind man was standing there with his seeing eye dog, and the dog lifted his leg and whizzed on the man's leg. The man reached down to give the dog a Milk Bone. I interrupted and asked "Do you know what he just did?" The man said he did, so I asked "Then why are you giving him a treat?" He replied, "I'm just trying to figure out where his head is so I can kick him in the ass."

Lol! That jerked a laugh out of me..