I've googled, and I can't find it.

It was a joke about the 4 services meeting up to discuss their budgets.

Air Force, Navy, and Army show up and discuss how they would spend their money. Off in the distance a USMC private is walking towards them...

(Don't want to ruin it) Anybody know what I'm talking about?

I'm aware of the joke about the different ways the 4 services interpret the order to "secure a building" but not the one you mention.

flashguy

Assuming you know the punchline, which is why you don't want to give too much away, try googling the punchline. I have had a lot of luck with that when I can remember the ending, but not the story.

Every year, the "four" branches of the United States Armed Forces gather at a secret location to discuss the allocation of that year's budget.

First to arrive is a four-star admiral, from the US Navy. Actually, since the meet-up is held at a golf course, the admiral just stayed since the last meeting.

As he prepares for morning tee time, a shiny new F-22 Raptor passes low enough to blast his golf ball off the tee.

Incensed, the admiral climbs aboard his golf cart and rushes 50 yards to the airstrip where the Raptor has just landed.

Out of the Raptor's cockpit pops a four-star general from the United States Air Force, "That club's the closest your balls'll ever come to the mile high club..."

But before the Air Force General can finish his joke, he disappears in a cloud of smoke as an ugly, squat, green, eight-wheeled Striker with Texas longhorns bolted to the front does donuts around the now-grounded F-22 and the golf cart.

When the smoke clears, a hatch flips open and out pops a four star United States Army General, "You fellas decide which one a you's gonna be suck'n Congress's hind teet, yet?"

It's a three way glare-off.

But before the three can come to blows, they notice, in the distance, a fourth figure walking toward them, covered in dust.

He has an uneven, loping gait, as if one leg is shorter than the other.

A Marine, with the rank of private, wearing only one boot, comes to attention and salutes the three flag officers smartly.

All three are appalled at his worn-out uniform and unkempt appearance. Recovering first, the Admiral asks, sarcastically, "What's the matter Marine, you lost a boot?"

Responding proudly, with the biggest shit-eating grin of his career, the private says "No sir! I found one!"

[edited for spelling]

This message has been edited. Last edited by: LDD,

LDD nailed it!!!

Thank you, Sir!!!

quote:

Originally posted by ASKSmith:
LDD nailed it!!!

Thank you, Sir!!!

This joke isn't popular on the internet because I wrote/adapted it (it started life as a much shorter ethnic joke, told by members of that particular ethnicity). But after hearing stories of my Marine buddies and their scavenging for gear, well, it just seemed natural.

Perfect!!!!

LOL

That joke isn't a joke, that's a true story. I was there! Semper fi.

Something similar. I'm retired USAF, and I can personally vouch for the accuracy of this joke. . .



The Navy and the Air Force decided to have a canoe race on the Potomac River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day, the Navy won by a mile.

Afterwards, the Air Force team was very discouraged, depressed, and frustrated. The officers of the Air Force team decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Metrics Team", made up of senior officers, was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the Navy had 8 seamen rowing and 1 officer steering, while the Air Force had 1 airman rowing and 8 officers and NCOs steering.

The senior officers of the Air Force team hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Navy again next year, the Air Force Chief of Staff made historic and sweeping changes: the rowing team's organizational structure was totally realigned to 4 steering officers, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering NCO.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 airman rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Air Force Rowing Team Quality Program," with meetings, dinners, and a three-day pass for the rower. "We must give the rower empowerment and enrichment through this quality program."

The next year the Navy won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, the Air Force leadership gave a letter of reprimand to the rower for poor performance, initiated a $4 billion program for development of a new joint-service canoe, blamed the loss on a design defect in the paddles, and issued career continuation bonuses and leather rowing jackets to the beleaguered steering officers in the hopes they would stay for next year's race.

Meanwhile, the Army team is still trying to figure out why their oars keep making divots in the grass.

The Marine Corps lacked funding for a boat.

We were flying into Washington DC when the pilot called for a time check. The tower asked "Which service are you?" The pilot replied "Why do you need that!"
"Well, if you're Army, it's thirteen hundred. If Navy it's one o'clock. Air Force, Mickey's big hand... and you're a Marine, it's Tuesday."

The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don?t speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase ?secure the building?.

The Army will post guards around the place. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.

And it wouldn't be so damned funny, if it were not all true!

Family fights are the best!

quote:

and you're a Marine, it's Tuesday."

This made me laugh, and I mean laugh, a lot

I like the joke where flag officers bet as to which service has the biggest balls.

I love these jokes and they are way too true. I love the Marines...'cause they kill everything they see!

But, we seem to have newer and better gear in the Army National Guard than active duty Marines.

quote:

Originally posted by Strambo:
But, we seem to have newer and better gear in the Army National Guard than active duty Marines.

Back in late 2011 I was at Ft Carson and I was watching 2BDE 4ID (did I say that correctly) get issued gear at the CIF. All brand new, pretty gear. Then I went back to 29 Palms to our CIF. Oh well, they told me it was servicible.

At least we stopped issuing used long johns and sleeping bags. That always made me feel dirty.