^^^^^This…obtain any toys or hardware on your wish list before making it official. Keeping a separate ‘you’ checking account away from your joint or bill-paying account ensures you can continue enjoying your hobbies without interfering with your main expenses. Even if she supports your separate interests now, having ‘you’ money lessens the headache of arguing over getting new furniture versus new hardware.

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
Everyone says "Happy Wife Happy Life". Umm this may get me flamed but I call BS on this one.

Some say "Happy King Happy Kingdom". That's not so good either.

Better, actually the Best is "Happy Spouse Happy House" applies to both people.

Best wishes to you.
.

I’m of this opinion as well. In a healthy relationship, both partners will have their needs met.

And as for those saying you shouldn’t try to teach your wife anything, I disagree. All you really need to do is approach the task with patience, the same grace that you would extend to your child.

Have a read of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by the late Stephen Covey. It's written from mainly a business perspective, but most (if not all) his principles in this book can be applied to relationships, whether they be marital or just merely friendships.

Good luck, and may the Force be with you. Always...

quote:

I would venture to say this qualifies as the last word on the matter.

whoa, wait a minute, now - I thought we had womens on this forum...

When leaving bachelorhood, if you're one of those who routinely carried a condom in his wallet, STOP, REMOVE IT, and DON'T REPLENISH!

quote:

Originally posted by Aglifter:
Today’s observation: If you need/want to do something, do it alone. “Doing things” with the SO is about being together. Trying to achieve tasks while together will just get everyone upset.

Depends what you mean by "do it alone". I am living this now, and it sucks. I am very much into the outdoors and my wife is not. We have 2 boys. I take them camping, boating, snowboarding, etc... and she has absolutely zero interest in doing any of that stuff. When we were dating she would go camping, but that pretty much stopped the first time we went as a family.

I'd say make sure you have shared interests. It is infuriating that my wife doesn't want to do any of the activities I do with my kids, so I do them alone.

Clean the toilets and bathroom unless she insists on doing it. I use disposable gloves and clorox wipes the night before weekly garbage pickup. Pee sitting down. You will appreciate that when you clean.

Let her wash dishes her way. If she cooks, you wash. Do not hang once used underwear on the bedroom/bathroom doorknob.

Do not smell bad going to bed. Take it easy on beer and whiskey. Be as honest as GW. Be as attentive to her health as a baby kitten. Cook the food that she likes.

Pray with her and for her family.

“You can make coffee, if you like.”

Translation: She wants coffee, and we both know she makes awful coffee, somehow.

That much I could have guessed, but I didn’t think about having her eat her own cooking.

She tried a “kale dish” which she has been making for me as part of my breakfast…

I will no longer have to eat sautéed kale in my omelette…

Actually tastes a bit like collards. Still doesn’t belong in an omelette.

Set healthy boundaries and don't tolerate any games or shit tests.
This is a two way street of love, affection, and support. Any princess syndrome or alpha male wannabe'ness will derail a good relationship.

Get married today

^^^

Here’s another angle, to do with taxes. All else likely won’t be equal, but the standard deduction will be higher.

Learn to listen, approach everything with grace, remember that you are both here because you love each other, understand that these things don't mean leaving behind who you are.

As I age, I learn more and more the benefits of grace in all of my business and personal relationships. Put aside both pride and impatience, learn to adapt to the environment, give so that you might receive, but always stay true to yourself, and you will be fine.

This July it will be 43 years and I would not hesitate to do it all over again.

I will tell you what my dad told me if you have any doubts don't do it, you only have one life to live so don't live it unhappy.

quote:

Originally posted by SSgt USMC/Vet:
you only have one life to live so don't live it unhappy.

Amen, brother.

Got this one from one of my friends, and it worked out.

Set up an "account" for jewelry/handbags/etc, and make a plan for stuff she wants, with the idea that it's "lifetime" stuff.

It got her to stop worrying about whatever trendy junk is en vogue.

Also, we went to a wholesale jewelry district (Miami has a big one.), and she learned how massive the price difference is on basic stuff. (Diamond studs, natural pearl studs, tennis bracelet, etc. Stuff where "design" just isn't a factor.)

I don't mind giving her stuff, but I hated feeling like we are throwing the money away. She has a plan on what she wants, and has decided she'd rather have good jewelry, than "fancy" handbags, etc.

We are still going to do "stuff" for Valentines, birthdays, etc - but she now gets the idea that its better to set aside money to get her really nice stuff, than a bunch of trinkets.

^^^^
"People don't plan to fail. They fail to plan."

Looks like you're off to a good start with a great plan!!! Congrats!