Clearly THIS forum doesnt sadden me So much as the part of life I experience through it.

Whether its due to the generally older crowd, the fact that I frequent this site more than all others combined, or perhaps due to our membership feeling at ease to share here so freely and openly, i dont know. Perhaps a combination of many things, but...

I constantly seem to see members passing, losing loved ones, cancer, relatives in critical condition, etc.

I rarely comment in those type posts for the same reason i dont say much in person, what does one say? Its not that I dont care, I just feel as though anything I say as an unaffected person would be of no consequence.

Futhermore, it just seems sometimes like once you pass a certain point it goes from being a child and only seeing the future to being old and longing for the past.

Seeing all these unfortunate events happen at what feels like a fairly high rate just puts me in a somber mood sometimes. If there is any positive its that I HOPE most lived a fulfilled life. I hope the requests for prayers help.

None of that probably made sense but thanks for listening.

I think I understand what you’re saying.

We’re all people, behind these keyboards, and sometimes there are some pretty stark reminders of that fact. It isn’t all fun all the time. I think it’s important to remember that we’re mortal, and all we have is today. Seeing our friends get sick and die is hard, but it’s part of life. Reflecting on these things, one would have to be a special kind of hard not to feel a bit saddened from time to time.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig: I just feel as though anything I say as an unaffected person would be of no consequence.

While I understand, personally, as someone who has sought the prayers of this membership, what you do say IS of consequence. Knowing that others, even complete strangers, care enough to comment and offer prayers is comforting.

Thanks.

quote:

Originally posted by SigLaw:

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig: I just feel as though anything I say as an unaffected person would be of no consequence.

While I understand, personally, as someone who has sought the prayers of this membership, what you do say IS of consequence. Knowing that others, even complete strangers, care enough to comment and offer prayers is comforting.

Thanks.

Sometimes a simple acknowledgement is enough to help. And while I've not been here that long, I totally understand the point of OP. You wake up one day and wonder where time has gone.

Years ago, a meme circulated on the internet. It addressed the number of people in congress with problems such as alcohol abuse, domestic violence, etc. It seemed like a very high proportion.

I was having coffee with out HR Director in an institution employing about 600 people. I showed her the meme, and she laughed and told me those numbers were about right for any group of people that large, perhaps even a bit on the low side. She said groups like LEOS and Congress had slightly lower rates due to background checks, media attention, etc. That really put a lot of things in perspective for me.

It's not that a lot of sad things happen, it's that the group is so large it seems higher than normal. Also, as we age...well, it gets harder. Last fall another of my acquaintances committed suicide. That makes 40 in my lifetime, either murder victims or suicide. It sucks, but it's reality. Just cherish friends and family today. Tomorrow takes care of itself.

Does not reading about our ailments and deaths not ring home that life is precious
and each day should be savored as your last and lived well ? For me the acceptance of death and suffering is just a part of the life cycle. Only a purported few have got out alive going to the next chapter. And I’m pretty sure I will not be given that gift. (-;

You said a lot with sincerity & purpose.

Well said.

If I were to guess you are probably in the ballpark age that I am and you are just sort of getting to that point where you realize that change between a child pining for the future vs someone pining for the past.

I would argue some of it is facing your own inevitability’s as well as simply realizing in a sharper focus how much responsibility you have and how messed up the world can seem.

I think it’s that existential period or periods we all go through.

Take care, shoot safe
Chris

To know that no matter what struggles one has. Others have a tougher road to travel. It is important to know that we need to continue to provide inspiration and support to others as best we can.

My elderly mother inspires me. Even at her advanced age and diminished capabilities she is always looking to the future with optimism.

It is also reassuring to know that God has a plan and place for us once we pass from this life.

I understand what you say ottosig. Feel it too from time to time here.

And I agree with what others have said.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
I just feel as though anything I say as an unaffected person would be of no consequence.

I disagree with this sentiment. Scripture asks us “Am I not my brother’s keeper?” Friends who know me well understand when I say ‘I had a toothache once’, when someone relates a story of regret, loss, privation, pain etc. It is a my own way of expressing sympathy and letting them know that I share their pain. Shared pain is pain lessened.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:
Seeing all these unfortunate events happen at what feels like a fairly high rate just puts me in a somber mood sometimes.

As it does for any normal person.

And that was the impetus for this: https://sigforum.com/eve/forums...0601935/m/3040070554

We have threads with a death notice at the beginning, followed by sometimes ten or more pages of "condolences" and "so sorry" and "rest in peace" and nothing but that. Of course these members are sincere in their condolences but who wants to have their place on the internet be a funeral home? That's what we were turning into, so I asked LDD to post that notice. At the time that notice was posted, all this forum was missing was a sign that said "SIGforum funeral home". Why wouldn't OttoSig and other members feel as they do in this respect?

When someone dies, the open mourning eventually stops in the real world. Once the memorial service and/or funeral service is held, the deceased is interred- either physically or in spirit and people go on with their lives. In this forum, though, we have had in the past, threads about death notices which have stayed active for extended periods, with members sometimes "just now seeing" such threads, who then bumped them back up to the top for another wave of condolences. Just how long should we let such threads go on? How do you think such threads- prominently and frequently displayed and with some of those threads going on for days and days- affects the mood of the forum? You can see evidence of this in the existence of this thread. Of course this stuff depresses OttoSig. It depresses any decent person.

There's never a good time to post what I've just posted and, frankly, I don't care that some of you will consider my remarks cold-hearted. There's no way for me to say these things delicately, not unless I wish to go so far as to try to disguise the truth of it.

BTW- that policy states we'll lock such threads after five days. I don't recall that we've ever done this on any such threads.

quote:

Originally posted by OttoSig:

... what does one say? Its not that I dont care, I just feel as though anything I say as an unaffected person would be of no consequence.
...
None of that probably made sense but thanks for listening.

What can you say that may be of consequence?

You alluded to it in your post.

"... thanks for listening."

You may say "I'm here to listen if you need it" a thousand times before someone takes you up on it.

But when that one person in need of a listener takes you up on it, you know the other 999 times you said something were not in vain.

I appreciate para’s response to Ottosig’s post. Responding, or not responding to these posts is a conundrum that is sometimes difficult to negotiate. I’ve been here over 13 years now and feel like I “know” a lot of you. I find myself thinking...”if I don’t write something to *.* will he notice and think I don’t give a shit?” Because of that feeling, if we’ve interacted over the years, I’ll usually say something.

Generally, I avoid the “Rainbow Bridge” threads; pet loss is just too frequent an occurrence. Believe me, I know the loss is real.

It's been a lifetime since I joined.

Have shared with you most of it and experienced all sorts of feelings here, as time made me a more (dis)functional part of the board.
I have been assimilated, integrated fully or so I feel after all these years.

We grew old and just maybe our interests, concerns and attention are drawn towards certain subjects more than others as it used to be.

It's just natural.

0-0

I am non-religious so in threads asking for prayers I am hesitant to take part. So I offer best wishes or condolences which I hope will suffice.

quote:

So I offer best wishes or condolences which I hope will suffice.

An expression of caring is always sufficient, Yooper.

quote:

Originally posted by sjtill:

quote:

So I offer best wishes or condolences which I hope will suffice.

An expression of caring is always sufficient, Yooper.

Indeed they are. I know there have been times in my past that those best wishes/condolences may have been the only thing that kept my wife and I moving forward. And, each and every one of those "best wishes" made a difference and were greatly appreciated.

Everyone deals with it differently. Some need help, some don't. Time goes on with or without us. After seeing many things posted on here, I realize my little life and such isn't too bad. Makes me thankful for what I have.

Though I read them, I don't post in the tragic threads much. I don't want to dilute the significance of them with repetition. Suffice it to say that I empathize with the suffering and struggling members.