My Apple Watch tells me whether or not it thinks that I have done an adequate job of washing my hands.

How do it know?

All of the cameras in your house tell it so

Your phone, TV's, coffee maker, stove and the "smart" lightbulbs

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
My Apple Watch tells me whether or not it thinks that I have done an adequate job of washing my hands.

How do it know?

The sensors in it decipher what you're doing based on your hand movements. Similar to how a fitbit knows how many steps you've taken.

Did you get this message? "Wash ya hands, Ya filthy animal!"

Yeah, Ma Apple – tells me when to go to bed.

I wish Tim (the bean counter) Cook had died instead of Steve Jobs. Nobody would’ve noticed Cook’s death.

Splashes of urine on the watch?

I wonder how it knows when you've taken a whiz.

^^^^^^

For all of Jobs’ faults, he lead that company well.

While I’m a big Apple fan, not sure how accurate they are. I had a guy tell me his watch told him he spanked himself six and a half miles one time

I used to work with a guy who would wash his hands before peeing but not after. He used to say his hands were dirty from everything he touched before he came into bathroom but his dick was clean, never left his pants. Said as long as he didn't pee on his hands no reason to wash them.

Reminds me of an old joke, forgive me for using specific schools as I’m a Georgia boy.
Two men, one in a University of Georgia T-shirt and one wearing a Georgia Tech tshirt take a piss in the bathroom of a bar. The UGA guy washes his hands and notices the Ga Tech guy doesn’t.
UGA guy smugly says “at UGA we were taught to wash our hands after urinating”. The guy from tech replies,”Well at Ga Tech we were taught not to piss on our hands!”

quote:

Originally posted by RaiseHal:

Reminds me of an old joke, forgive me for using specific schools as I’m a Georgia boy.

We heard the same joke in boot camp, but it was a sailor and a marine.

quote:

Originally posted by RaiseHal:
Reminds me of an old joke, forgive me for using specific schools as I’m a Georgia boy.
Two men, one in a University of Georgia T-shirt and one wearing a Georgia Tech tshirt take a piss in the bathroom of a bar. The UGA guy washes his hands and notices the Ga Tech guy doesn’t.
UGA guy smugly says “at UGA we were taught to wash our hands after urinating”. The guy from tech replies,”Well at Ga Tech we were taught not to piss on our hands!”

Heard the same joke only it was a cadet and a midshipman at the Army-Navy game.

Guy I was in the Marines with washed his hands ferociously before, dropped his trousers to his his knees, pulled the waistband of his skivvies down and without touching himself rested his pecker on the waistband.

Targeting was done by his hands on either side adjusting the waistband. Shook it via back and forth jostling of the waistband, pulled forward to return it inside. Having finished without ever touching himself, pulled up his trousers and the again emphatically washed his hands.

He was wound a bit tight, ended up going AWOL and then Section 8’d.



Jokes?

Marine Capt and Gunny were in the head one day and the Capt sheepishly acknowledged the Gunny’s umm, “Command Presence” and asked him how it got to be so impressive. Gunny said every time he went, he banged back and forth on the side of the urinal or rim of the bowl.

Capt was heading out on a 6 month deployment the next day and figured he would focus on some “personal growth” while he was gone. Excited with his progress, he told his wife Uncle Sam extended his mission an extra week thinking he would surprise her with a grand reveal.

Arriving late at night, and after a long drive, he went to the head as soon as he got home. Out of habit he smacked himself after emptying his bladder. Evidently the sound of porcelain being struck awakened his slumbering wife who called out ”Is that you Gunny?”