August 20, 2018, 03:53 PM
Jim ShugartToday's groaner.
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back I'll be repossessed.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
August 20, 2018, 04:11 PM
Jimbo54Ha, short but sweet.
________________________
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
August 20, 2018, 04:34 PM
Some ShotYes; the amusement/time factor is pretty high.
August 20, 2018, 04:37 PM
Sig2340A friend of mine,Jim, is a devout Roman Catholic.
Terrible things kept happening in his life. I mean really terrible things.
Despondent, he went to his priest and confessor and said "Father, my life is one catastrophe after another. I'm at my wits end. Surely I'm possessed of a demon. I think I need an exorcism."
The priest, a kindly, much older man looks at Jim and replies "James, you're married."
Nice is overrated
"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018
August 22, 2018, 12:41 PM
bendableI told the wife that I paid full up for her to cremate me when I pass,
she made an appointment for me next wednesday
Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.
Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
August 22, 2018, 01:25 PM
egregoreI was attacked by a midget. I remember very little about it.
August 22, 2018, 01:28 PM
TigerDorelol- I enjoyed it. Thanks, Jim!
August 22, 2018, 01:31 PM
TigerDorequote:
Originally posted by bendable:
I told the wife that I paid full up for her to cremate me when I pass,
she made an appointment for me next wednesday
August 22, 2018, 01:35 PM
egregoreI'm going to the zoo to see llamas. It's going to be a long drive, so alpaca lunch.
August 22, 2018, 01:38 PM
Mars_AttacksTwo chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says to the bartender, "I'll have some H20."
The second one says, "I'll have some H20, too."
The seconds chemist dies.
However, he paid double. Why?
____________________________
Eeewwww, don't touch it!
Here, poke at it with this stick.
August 22, 2018, 01:43 PM
TigerDorequote:
Originally posted by Mars_Attacks:
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says to the bartender, "I'll have some H20."
The second one says, "I'll have some H20, too."
The seconds chemist dies.
However, he paid double. Why?
He drank H2O2, Hydrogen Peroxide. But it probably wouldn't kill him. It might make him sick of the stomach.
.
August 22, 2018, 01:44 PM
Doc H.quote:
Originally posted by Mars_Attacks:
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says to the bartender, "I'll have some H20."
The second one says, "I'll have some H20, too."
The seconds chemist dies.
However, he paid double. Why?
H2O2 = fatal. And he owed two. Bada bing.
"And gentlemen in England now abed, shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's Day" August 22, 2018, 01:57 PM
LastCubScoutquote:
Originally posted by Jim Shugart:
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back I'll be repossessed.
You know what happens when you cross a loan shark with an exorcist?
Beats the hell out of me.
August 22, 2018, 02:12 PM
Jim Shugart^ ^ ^ ^ Haaaaa!
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
August 22, 2018, 02:51 PM
Mars_Attacksquote:
Originally posted by Doc H.:
quote:
Originally posted by Mars_Attacks:
Two chemists walk into a bar.
The first one says to the bartender, "I'll have some H20."
The second one says, "I'll have some H20, too."
The seconds chemist dies.
However, he paid double. Why?
H2O2 = fatal. And he owed two. Bada bing.
He paid peroxide.
____________________________
Eeewwww, don't touch it!
Here, poke at it with this stick.