I wanted to ask, "What would you do if you came into eff you money," but I figured that would run afoul of the subject line rule.

Anyway, the question came up at work today, with a bit of a twist. It became, "If you came into eff you money, what are the first five things you'd do selfishly, and what are the first five things you'd do unselfishly?

My crew and I talked about it very briefly this afternoon, and I was super impressed with the answer I got from the youngest of the bunch. (She's 24.) She only offered one from each list, but I thought they were great. Selfishly, she said she'd pay off her car. That seemed like a good plan, and a totally responsible decision. Then she said, "Unselfishly? I'd go over to the high school and find out how many students have outstanding lunch bills, and I'd pay those off."

I was a little surprised by that answer, as it's something I wouldn't have even thought of. But also because it was such a "hyper-local" answer. It wasn't the expected "give big to charity" sort of thing, but was very focused.

That said, I figured it might be a fun topic for discussion here. So, guys and gals: what would you do first selfishly, and what would you do unselfishly?

"Eff You" money?

For me..., a house in a tax friendly state which has a large garage and an even larger shop (with car lift and wood working area to include an area for "man stuff." (Already agreed with wife she gets to chose "where", I get to chose "what" with regards to next place to live.)

Unselfish...

A life long friend would have his house anonymously paid off.

And there would be a few full-ride scholarships for my high school (the neighborhood is a working class hood and not many had/have $$ for college)

I think I can answer both questions at once. I would buy the building that houses my Aikido dojo, and present the deed to my Sensei so he can stop worrying about making rent every month.

Are we talking "NAZI Gold" or "Batman" Rich?

Hell, even if it was a couple million, I would disappear like I went into Witness Protection.

A nice house with lots of acreage around it, nice finished basement.....with a really nice bunker.

I would do the unselfish first.
First thing I would do is pay the remaining mortgage debt for my kid’s school, give all the staff, $100k, build the school a gym, and give 1 million to our parish.

Build me a heck of a garage/shop!
Then after that I would buy a 1993 SVT Cobra R, 1995 SVT Cobra R, and 2000 SVT Cobra R.
Then I would retire and I would actually have time to finally build the 1992 Mustang in my garage.

We have a Billboard that says the Mega Millions and Powerball amounts.
So I think about it on occasion and these have been solidified in my mind for awhile.

Selfishly, build a compound for my wife and I and for all my kid's families in a free state, preferably on the beach where storms aren't too much of a risk.

Unselfishly, help veterans that are going through tough times.

It would have to really be a huge amount of FU money to do it right.

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
a house in a tax friendly state which has a large garage and an even larger shop (with car lift and wood working area to include an area for "man stuff."

Dude... are you me??

Little outside of my current plans of moving out of state to my rural land. I’d probably upgrade my truck to a 4X4 Tundra and finally buy a Panigale. If anything, with fuck you money, I’d be hooking up and taking care of some people I care about vs. buying a bunch of shit or changing my already in stone plans.

Assuming we're talking Bill Gates/Elon Musk level of "F You money", not just winning a couple million in the lottery, then in that case...

I'd selfishly buy a big house on large acreage and have a bunch of animals. Maybe even something ostentatious like a manor house/castle on a game estate in Scotland.

I'd unselfishly start a network of medical research facilities and low-cost cutting-edge hospitals to tackle the really nasty stuff like cancer and Alzheimer's.

And then I'd become Batman. (Both selfishly and unselfishly.)


However, if we're just talking a few million dollars, then I'd get a medium-sized house in Arkansas on several acres with a few animals, donate to a several medical charities, and invest the rest to live off. But no Batman.

1. Not tell anybody except for close family members.

2. Buy a house, but not ostentatious from the outside. It would have a garage, workshop (might be an outbuilding) with a ceiling high enough to accommodate a car lift, and a good-sized fenced back yard. No swimming pool. Naturally, this being a firearms enthusiast forum, inside would be a vault full of guns. I have stated my dislike of new cars, but with my workshop I could fix up an older one.

3. Donate to charities like (but not limited to) animal shelters, veterans care, hospitals, etc.

4. Sock away and invest the rest.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:
[Office Space still]

I almost posted the exact same thing.

Selfishly:

the only way I'm coming into big money is winning the lottery so first thing I'd do is set-up a blind trust so I didn't get hounded by freeloaders.

paying off mortgage

buying a square mile of rural NE Texas land through my blind trust and making the barn look like a John Deere dealership

I'm having my next birthday at that place west of Houston where you get to ride around in tanks and shoot the big gun

Buy Purdue a real football program through my blind trust. I guess this is selfish for me but selfless for other alumni.

Selflessly:

use the blind trust to give large donations to the 5 charities I already give to monthly.

use the blind trust to give large donations to all of the churches I've atteneded as my employer moved me around North America

set-up an endowment to fund mechanical engineering scholarships at Purdue

Mom died of cancer so I'd like to fund cancer support groups for terminal patients

My grandfather's dementia got pretty bad the last year or two and it was hard on my grandmother. I'd like to fund support groups for caregivers of dementia patients.

---

Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.

quote:

Originally posted by sigmonkey:

I suppose what is meant by big money; if lottery level money… Selfish- pay off the mortgage, dump all of the fams aging cars cars (2003, 2004, 2005, 2011 and 2013), buy a nice piece of acreage in central WV, invest the rest.

Unselfishly- dole out what I could afford to other family members- a set, one time amount to do with as they please.

Back in the day, when lignite(soft coal) land leases were a thing in East Texas, a friend had some family land under lease for potential mining-not big bucks. I asked him what he would do if an actual lease for mining came to fruition. His response: “I’ll bring new definition to the word “sorry”“.

I have a pretty simple list
selfish ( or maybe just responsible with some gun thrown in?)
Pay off all my bills ( mortgage etc)
Let my wife buy the fast car she has always wanted
I would want a custom spec old school body style land rover defender or ToyotaFJ 40.
There may be a gun or two also

I would honestly be more focused on the unselfish
Make sure every grand niece and nephew had All the money they needed for college and/ or to start adulthood ( some strings attached to this)
My VFW post wouldn’t ever worry about paying the bills
I would have free time to volunteer for a lot of the places and causes I can’t fit in as a 5+ day a week worker
I would get in contact with Gary Sinise and work on building those handicap accessible homes for veterans.

Settle all my & my family's debts
Buy a large plot of land, build a house & large shop on it
Buy a 300 SL Gullwing & a Koenigsegg Agera RS, and either a G-Wagen or AMG E-Class Estate for a daily.
Give $1M to Genius Garage
Invest the rest & go to just about every F1 race on the calendar.

First thing with “FU” money-
Disappear! As in “hey, where did CPD SIG go?”
I would sharpen the edges of my police badge like a throwing star and fling that fucker into the door of the boss at personnel it would take 2 days to pry it out. “Fuck you, I quit” on my paperwork to retire.

Move to a FREE STATE! Something starting at 80 acres. A nice guest house (because some of you might just be invited ) decent sized garage, nice barn, and a 500 yd range in my back yard. Buying a few new toys.

Then the selfish/unselfish things:
Id start messing with people-
Little brother is retiring soon after 28+ years in the Marine Corps.
Just take his car, replace it with a brand new one in the driveway. Same with his wife’s car.
I know the area he wants to move to… someone dropping off an envelope with a treasure map and a set of house keys…

I have a few old partners that would probably get their mortgage, credit card bills paid off. Kids tuition bills disappear.
There’s a few other genuinely nice people I know that weird things like that above would happen to them as well.
“Honey, why is our mortgage payment getting returned?”
“What do you mean ‘here’s your refund’ for our kids tuition?”
“Baby, why is there a new car in the driveway?”
“How in the hell did our 5 year old get a blue chip stock portfolio?”

Not saying a word… I don’t anyone to know.


Then there’s the other people…
Let’s just say that the unending series of bad accidents and unfortunate events in their lives would be relentless.

The billboards around Chicago would also be pretty funny and truthful.

For Me:
House with garage and workshop.
Indoor 25 Yard Range.
Pay off bills and vehicles.
Set up a trust for my kid to ensure his future well being.
For others:
Make big donations to organizations that are trying to cure what is killing us: Cancer. Dementia. Heart Disease.