I have a 10 yr old son that lives with his mom. I love him, but something has been driving me nuts for years. No matter who calls while we are talking he hangs up on me to answer. He just says so-and-so is calling, bye. He doesn’t do it when he’s on the phone with his mom.

Tonight it happened again and I got irritated and brought it up when we talked again later. He got upset and now his mom says I’m the asshole for mentioning it.

Because of my upbringing I know I don’t have the best people skills. Am I wrong to be upset over this?

People that do that to me I tend to disassociate with. Unfortunately it's your son that has this rude behavior so...

Yes, when it happens to me I am bothered by it and I think you have every right to point out that it is unacceptable.

It's rude to do that to anybody, UNLESS it's an emergency call.

You are right to bring it up.

My wife does the same thing to me every time, even when we are on a date. Absolutely it is rude, period.

Is it possible that his mom told him to do it?

Well, lets start at the beginning. You are an asshole, she is a bitch.

Beyond that, yes it is rude. She is not teaching him that it is wrong. I would bring it up to him in person when you see him. If you do not see maybe do it to him a couple of times and then ask him how he felt about it when it was done to him.
I am with you. It is very rude.

I don't think we need to consult Emily Post to understand that this behavior isn't polite. One or both of his parents aren't teaching him manners. Can't say which without more information, but he is learning this somewhere.

You got upset over nothing, imho. He's a 10 y/o kid. But, what the heck do I know. I have no kids.

I am in the expectations are too high column.

It is rude, yes but He is 10. 10 year olds do lots of things that are rude. Talk about it with him in person and not on the phone in a calm fashion and don't mention he does not do it when talking with his mother.

Though I would not be surprised if mama has something to do with it though.

It is rude behavior and you called him on it. It is just one of many things he needs to learn as he grows up, or else we will have another snowflake.

Good luck to you in this effort.

quote:

Originally posted by old rugged cross:
If you do not see maybe do it to him a couple of times and then ask him how he felt about it when it was done to him.
I am with you. It is very rude.

I like teachable moments. This seems like a good one. Especially if he's in the middle of asking you for something. "Oh, hold on, I have a call on the other phone. I have to go. Bye."

He is you son and kids need to be taught etiquette.

I think you are right to say something to him about it. It's very disrespectful.

quote:

Originally posted by Hound Dog:
It's rude to do that to anybody, UNLESS it's an emergency call.

You are right to bring it up.

Completely agree. Would be pissed if he did to anyone, let alone dad.

Kid needs to learn to respect you.

My Dad would tell me 3 - 6 - 9, which translated meant:

It's going to take 3 surgeons 6 hours to remove my size 9 from your ass.

I grew up Italian, what can I say?

Dad said and did a lot of other things too, but the bottom line is - respect.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:

quote:

Originally posted by old rugged cross:
If you do not see maybe do it to him a couple of times and then ask him how he felt about it when it was done to him.
I am with you. It is very rude.

I like teachable moments. This seems like a good one. Especially if he's in the middle of asking you for something. "Oh, hold on, I have a call on the other phone. I have to go. Bye."

I am going to have to disagree. Do NOT do it back to your son especially if he is with his mother.

My brother has a 10 year old and the things that his ex-wife puts in the boys head is maddening.

From the OP I already suspect mom is behind this poor behavior.
You do the hang up to talk to someone else, mom is going to be all over it with some assinine comments about dad not having time for him and finding other people to be more important.

I would tread lightly if at all on that idea.

A 10 year olds mind is very very soft and mama can drive some life long poison against dad at that age.

quote:

Originally posted by Black92LX:

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:

quote:

Originally posted by old rugged cross:
If you do not see maybe do it to him a couple of times and then ask him how he felt about it when it was done to him.
I am with you. It is very rude.

I like teachable moments. This seems like a good one. Especially if he's in the middle of asking you for something. "Oh, hold on, I have a call on the other phone. I have to go. Bye."

I am going to have to disagree. Do NOT do it back to your son especially if he is with his mother.

My brother has a 10 year old and the things that his ex-wife puts in the boys head is maddening.

From the OP I already suspect mom is behind this poor behavior.
You do the hang up to talk to someone else, mom is going to be all over it with some assinine comments about dad not having time for him and finding other people to be more important.

I would tread lightly if at all on that idea.

A 10 year olds mind is very very soft and mama can drive some life long poison against dad at that age.

I'll be first to admit I'm not the most considerate person around and you bring up a very good point. I was just thinking in terms of a generic adult and not a 10 year old, much less my kid.

I am reminded of when my niece (maybe she was 10 years old at the time) ran up to me with her guitar from school and she said, "Uncle, listen to me play the guitar."

I was a teenager then. I was expecting something close to playing a guitar. She strummed her finger across the strings a couple of times and it made sounds. Not what I was expecting so I laughed. Her brother and sister laughed with me. I didn't think anything of it at the time but the look on her fallen face haunts me now in my memory continually. She and I are close. We have never talked about the incident. But for me it's like remembering the time you stepped on a loved one's toes and squished your foot several times intentionally and now you're sorry you did it.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Rey HRH,

It is rude, and should be called on it. How to do it is the problem here.
Always make time for the kids. Don't do anything stupid. Try to model the best behavior, the kids WILL know. Just be gentle with the lesson.

A little backstory. Late ex and I have 2 kids, at the time 6 and 4. A couple of years after the divorce, ex constantly complaining about me. Kids were getting polluted on that stuff. Made statements about me "yelling at her on the phone every time she called" stuff. Well, my kids are nosy SOB's (just like their Dad) and were determined to find the truth. Next time she was on the phone with me, kids rigged up a tap on the phone and heard the whole conversation. Needless to say when it was over the ex was bitterly crying and complaining about the rude treatment I subjected her to, both kids looked at each other and burst out laughing!!

Kids never believed a word that their mother said after that. Kids told me that story after they moved out. Loved it.

If you do it right, you too can win.

Take away his phone and phone privileges for a month and let him know exactly why this was done.

Problem solved, in perpetuity.

Old school here. I would of got to hang up on my Dad once.

As I get older I appreciate what my Dad did for me especially when I didn't appreciate it at the time.