As a dad that was in the same exact position(son 11 at time), I would talk to him about it in person. The next time you have some one on one time, mention it to him and give him an example of what it would be like if he did that to you.

He/she(child) could be ruled with an iron fist on the other end of the phone and is afraid to disobey that parent at that time. There are still some issues with my middle son(21) with whom to "believe". Eventually, they(child) will come around and see things for themselves!

quote:

Originally posted by jcsabolt2:
My wife does the same thing to me every time, even when we are on a date. Absolutely it is rude, period.

You talk to your wife on the phone while you're on a date (I assume you mean on a date with HER)?

That said, my ex-GF used to do that to me all the time. Pissed me off. WTF am I, chopped liver? Apparently so, thus the 'ex-' in that.

I forget which member, but a few years back, a member of the forum was at a Thanksgiving dinner for family. I think it was his nephew- the kid wasn't interacting with anyone. He was staring at his phone for hours. Time comes to sit down for dinner, the kid is still staring at his phone. "That's a great-looking phone", says Uncle. "Can I see it?"
Kid hands him the phone. Uncle shuts the Goddamned thing off and puts it in his pocket. You'll get it back later.

My kind of guy. That kind of crap pisses me off to no end.

I think it's a learned behavior. Granted to me, choosing to do that to someone repeatedly shows how you feel about that person. I would never answer a call from someone else while talking to him, or even his mom. It's rude and shows that person that everyone else means more to you than them.

His mother is the same way he is. Even while we were married I could call from Bahrain after not talking to her for weeks and she would hang up if anyone in her family called. One of my biggest concerns is that he not turn out like his mom.

After looking at things a lot over the years, neither of us was completely easy to live with, but it boiled down to she chose her family over me at every opportunity. To include running back to live with her parents after three weeks with me, ending in divorce after four years of that kind of thing.

She has been through another husband before me and quite a few boyfriends since for I would bet the same reason. She is the principal of a high school, but is incapable of committing as a wife or serious girlfriend because her mother always comes first.

I don't want that for my son. I don't want him unable to commit to a woman because his mom and her family is more important. I guess for now I will talk to him about it next time I have him for a weekend.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
Take away his phone and phone privileges for a month and let him know exactly why this was done.

This.

When my son was 10 yo, he was in the fifth grade. Big enough and smart enough to know right from wrong, from rude to polite, because his mother and I taught him so.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
Take away his phone and phone privileges for a month and let him know exactly why this was done.

Probably a great option were he not separated/divorced? If they live separate and apart and the son lives with his mother, I don't see taking away phone privileges as an option she'll back him up on, unless they discuss it beforehand.

I love kids and get along great with them. That being said, parents dismiss their children, not the other way around. Of course, once in awhile a kid is going to be upset and try to get away with dismissive behavior, but it shouldn't be a SOP.

I'd first try to work it out with the Mom, as she needs to be on board.

I have seen many kids that simply have not been taught manners from their parents. Along with being respectful, it is a huge disservice to their children, that will effect them all throughout their lives. I would follow up with an in person discussion on manners and the importance of having them. Please, thank you, yes sir, no sir. I still open doors for women, and always receive a thank you in return. Our job as parents are to give our children the correct tools to survive life in society successfully, manners are just one of the tools.

Next time do the same to him at a key point in the conversation, like when discussing what he wants for his birthday, Christmas, etc. - you get the idea.

We have 2 great nephews that stay with us frequently. When I have a problem like this with the 11 year old I explain to him how this is disrespectful. I also talk to him about self respect and how can you expect other people to respect you if you don't respect them or don't show you respect yourself. It is helping and is done without yelling or threats like he receives at home.

I try to live by the philosophy that if people don't react the way you want, it's because you didn't motivate them to.

"Well, I was going to tell you I was sending you some money. But you hung up on me before I could. So I gave it to your sister instead"
- Click.