I’m one of three men who work in an office with 15 other women.

The men’s ages range from 32 to 60; women’s ages range from 21 to 78. All men are married; some women are single and others married.

One woman, call her F, makes explicit comments to other women in the center of our work space (not in a hushed voice but loud) about fellatio, men’s penises, sticking “things” in certain places, etc. F makes these comments at least once per week (I have worked in the office for 2.5 years). Several other women in the office encourage F by laughing and making their own comments. And very recently, F said to me in front of others that she would like to see me naked.

The head of the office (the Boss) is a 60 year old man. He consistently makes comments to clients in the office, commenting about their beauty, using double entendres (which may refer to his penis or the woman’s breasts or butt). On a few occasions the Boss has touched fellow employees in ways that made me cringe.

And then there are rumors about inappropriate activities between the Boss and at least two employees (one, call her S, who no longer works for us) and P, who is the office manager.

What do you guys and gals make of these things? Do you experience any of these things?

Thanks, Kevin

I would secretly get some video just in case one day F doesn't like the way you say something. You should be able to establish a precedent for your defense. If it offends you then I would be shopping for a job since it sounds like the boss doesn't mind that atmosphere.

No, have never seen anything this bad at any place I've worked.

At my current place of employment, the behavior you describe would launch some investigations and result in some people being fired.

The now-former sheriff and undersheriff of my small county were sued by three dispatchers for essentially the same things: sexually oriented stories and comments directed at the women, and even inappropriate touching. They were just awarded $875,000.

Edited to add an important fact: former sheriff and undersheriff.

Nope. People act very respectfully around here toward each other. That kind of behavior would not last very long at all.

I'm in an office environment now but in my previous life as a chef, the kitchens would be totally like that.

What Krazeehorse said. If not video, audio for sure. You may never have to use it, but at least you will have it. CYA (Cover Yo Ass)

Honestly, if possible, consider getting another job. A culture that dysfunctional can not be fixed. It's possible, depending on your state, that you could sue for damages under a hostile workplace theory, but there's no guarantee there, and the business may effectively be judgement proof (unlike the sheriff's office that does have $875,000 taxpayer dollars to shell out in damages.

What ever you do, stay clean. Also understand that there may be rules in your state about recording your workplace without notice or consent.

There's lots of touching, groping, language, and full out sexual acts in my work place.

. . I share a home office with my wife

Seriously, I'd get some evidence to CYA. You never know when you could become a target. Just leave your phone to record when you are in meetings, or at your desk or whatever.

That system is broken. There is a good chance that if you report it that you will be labeled a whistle blower. Should that occur you will have a target on your back. The numbers are not in your favor unfortunately. Good luck.

"That kind of language is inappropriate in the workplace of this caliber and, more importantly, makes me uncomfortable."

Start with The Boss and maybe (depending on the Boss' response, once to ONE of the subordinate offenders.

Recording might be nice but would likely result in your arrest unless they are made you are recording (before the comments are made). Documentation and a labor-law lawyer are your best bets.

As already commented above, do start documenting this behavior just in case it’s your ass in a sling someday. You are the minority there and they will turn on you someday. Also memorize your HR policies.

You've described a lawsuit waiting to happen. I bet there isn't a competent HR person in place. If you're offended you can file a complaint but you should know it will put a target on your back and require many lawyers hours to make you whole. If you aren't offended but concerned you can say something but risk being seen as a spoilsport with the same kind of target as above. Or you can say nothing and wait for things to burn. If it's just a job I'd consider moving on. The environment is toxic and not normal. Don't get caught up in it. Watch what you say and be ready to bail.

quote:

Originally posted by ArtieS:
Honestly, if possible, consider getting another job. A culture that dysfunctional can not be fixed. It's possible, depending on your state, that you could sue for damages under a hostile workplace theory, but there's no guarantee there, and the business may effectively be judgement proof (unlike the sheriff's office that does have $875,000 taxpayer dollars to shell out in damages.

What ever you do, stay clean. Also understand that there may be rules in your state about recording your workplace without notice or consent.

Beyond all that good advice, consider that whistleblowers are rarely welcomed to a new place of employment after suing the previous place of employment. Unless one is going to (highly likely to succeed in a big way) score FU money and never need to work again, it is worth thinking long and hard before pursuing an action against one’s employer.

That's never going to end well. I'd be thinking other long term options and CYA for the short term. Unlikely when F or someone else decides to turn the tables after being jilted that she won't sweep up every single person in the building with a Y chromosome.

No. It’s completely inappropriate, if not outright sexual harassment (the chick who wants to see you naked).
The boss is another piece of work. Find other employment. This sounds like hell.
I’ve been sexuallly harassed at work. The last time I confronted the individual with their comments, and they finally backed down and shut up, but it was pretty awful. Wtf is wrong w ppl?

quote:

Originally posted by ArtieS:
Honestly, if possible, consider getting another job.

Artie nailed it. This environment is not only inappropriate, but it's destined to eventually end up in a lawsuit being filed. You will not want to be a party to that in any way. And if the culture is as you claim from the boss on down, it's not going to change.

The nail that sticks up gets hammered down. Keep quiet and look for a new job.

Gentleone, you have the makings of a Penthouse Forum story. You’ve got plenty to work with there! Skin flick possibilities.

quote:

Originally posted by bigdeal:

quote:

Originally posted by ArtieS:
Honestly, if possible, consider getting another job.

Artie nailed it. This environment is not only inappropriate...

I agree with this. The women have license to behave the way they do because the 60 year old boss is a creep. And it isn't going to change unless there's a lawsuit or a higher-up with more sense and/or scruples catches the offenders in the act and cleans house.

That is a toxic environment. Leave if you can. If you cannot leave, keep your hands clean. If you want to file a suit, keep in mind you may get caught with the flying schrapnel.



.

I work for a big company and I hope this sort of thing does not take place.

I remember a (mandatory) training a few years ago. The trainer explained: there were 3 males that worked in an office. Each was from a different ethnic background. (The trainer said Black, Hispanic, and white) They went back and forth with ethnic jokes and off color sexual jokes. They all participated and it was like a big frat party. They were good friends. Saw one another outside the office. This went on for a number of years.

The presenter then asked - who won the multi million lawsuit for hostile work place?


The two ladies in the back of the office that heard the jokes for years and were offended. The ladies never asked them to stop and never complained to management. But management was aware of the behavior.

Back to the question....
If the place makes you uncomfortable, you'll need to look for another job. But consider keeping notes - in case you're ever discharged without cause.

And do not participate in that foolishness.