After 53 years, and the last 8 being a full time care taker for my mom, my dad is having a hard time.
How do I best support him. We have a good relationship but he has no friends or community here in Virginia. I will try to slowly get him involved with the church and mens groups and maybe he will take up fishing.
Mostly I am just worried but I know he must travel this path.

Is a cat or dog feasible? It would give him something to care for, help ease loneliness and if a dog, get him out of the house.

I was also going to ask about a dog

Maybe a local Senior Center?
The one here has lunches and activities for seniors.

PC

a dog would be good.

Also set up a weekly date with him to have a beer or steak or whatever just so he gets some human interaction.

Take him places where he meets people around his age so maybe he can start being active with them.

your idea of church, men's group are both very good ideas. Heck maybe just be his fishing buddy.

Sorry for your loss.
Definitely try to get him involved in church, fishing, walking etc..

It has been double digit years now but my grandmother passed and it really affected my grandfather.

Me and my dad tried to go hang out with him every evening but he was still alone all day.

It eventually took its toll and I believe that is part of the reason he developed dementia.

I am heading home the latter part of this week.
I lived/worked in central VA for 16 years, and I gathered a few documents from my years working patrol.

They dealt with everything from community outreach, employment, medical etc..

I will see if they still have them. The last few months I have done a major clean out of my past life.

Now this was before COVID-19, but there were a couple of meetup groups that were for widows. One was for mixed couples and then some for men only and women only.

They hiked, fished, went out to eat, etc..

My condolences on the loss of your mom, David.

As for your dad, is he a veteran? Perhaps the American Legion, or VFW can help him with some friendly chat. What are his hobbies? Maybe joining a group of like minded people, where he can mentor younger enthusiasts (like ham radio, model building, etc.). He might also want to try new things. Another posters suggestions about a senior center are also good.

Good luck and hope all is as well as can be there.

My condolences on the passing of your mom. Some here have asked about your dad's interests or hobbies, but after 8 years of being a caretaker I suspect he just doesn't have any (execpt fishing?). A number of questions occur to me: how old is he? (I'm guesssing late 70s or early 80s based on 53 years married); how physically able is he?; what did he do before his wife became a health issue?; how able are you to be involved in his life?; are there others who can share the load?

Church and men's groups are a good idea, but he may not want to do that. I wish you much luck in finding a solution for him.

flashguy

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advise. I have a few projects at the house I will invite him over to help me with. He is already talking about wanting to find a new purpose so I think that is a good thing.

Around here it seems the Rotary, the Moose lodge, the VFW and the local rec department have a ton of senior focused things. I’m near Charlottesville but you should be able to find stuff in your area

Depending on his physical condition, getting him involved in some activity might help. I just returned from a Pickleball tournament that had just under a thousand players...whose ages ran from 9 to 91. Many of us retired seniors (I'm 74) play 4-7 days a week and the USAPA.Org website lists over 5k places to play around the country. Many of these are in church properties and community rec centers. Pickleball is a very social and low impact (unless you're really competitive) sport. Begining players can learn the game and be playing in less than 2 hours. It's also addictive! If you'd like help finding a place/group close to your dad check out the web site below or let me know and I can contact one of the USA Pickleball ambassadors in his area.

https://www.places2play.org/state/virginia