SIGforum
Post your groaner of the day

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/7950072024

March 01, 2017, 09:01 PM
wrightd
Post your groaner of the day
quote:
Originally posted by BRL:
Bert and Ernie are sitting around bored to tears.

Ernie says "Hey, lets play hide and seek"

Bert: "Sounds good. I'll hide and if you can find me you can fuck me. If you can't I'll be in the closet".

good lord



Lover of the US Constitution
Wile E. Coyote School of DIY Disaster
March 01, 2017, 09:43 PM
Bombarde32
Did you hear about the urologist who was in court for malpractice, being tried by a jury of his peers?
March 01, 2017, 10:02 PM
Captain Morgan
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

Did you hear about the neW Polish subs?
They have screen doors.

Did you hear about.the.two gay Irish guys Mike Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmike?


Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Benjamin Franklin
March 01, 2017, 10:49 PM
SigJacket
Whenever we find a new planet we would never know if they are populated by vampires.


The telescopes have mirrors.


--
I always prefer reality when I can figure out what it is.

JALLEN 10/18/18
https://sigforum.com/eve/forum...610094844#7610094844
March 01, 2017, 11:14 PM
sig77
2 nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.....


There are 3 kinds of people, those that understand numbers and those that don't.
March 01, 2017, 11:27 PM
Jimineer
quote:
Originally posted by cobrajet:
quote:
Originally posted by TMats:
*Person is having a heart attack

Helpful bystander: "Is anyone here a doctor?"

Vegan: "I'm a vegan"

_________________________________________________
Me: I don't actually know any vegans; I live in Wyoming. I just thought it was funny.


Haha, truth, made the mistake of dating one briefly.


What do you call a vegan with diarrhea? Salad shooter.
March 01, 2017, 11:47 PM
Rightwire
<knock><knock><knock>

Mother "Oh hello boys, what can I do for you?"

Boys "Can Timmy come out and play?"

Mother "now boys, you know Timmy doesn't have any arms and legs"

Boys " Oh we know, we need someone for second base"



Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys

343 - Never Forget

Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat

There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
March 02, 2017, 06:09 AM
chadw659
What did the one female vampire say to the other?

See you next month.
March 02, 2017, 06:16 AM
WildSig
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes, Whack, Dang! A bad skydiver goes Dang! Whack
March 02, 2017, 10:42 AM
GWbiker
Two Gay men are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls.

One Gay says to the other: "I wish I could do that".

Other guy says: "I don't think you should. He might bite you".


*********
"Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
March 02, 2017, 10:51 AM
darthfuster
quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:
Two Gay men are walking down the street and see a dog licking his balls.

One Gay says to the other: "I wish I could do that".

Other guy says: "I don't think you should. He might bite you".


lol


You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
March 02, 2017, 11:05 AM
}BuLL
Same guy on the beach?

Sandy
March 02, 2017, 11:07 AM
}BuLL
What do you call a fake noodle?

Impasta
March 02, 2017, 11:21 AM
George43
quote:
Originally posted by imfrogman:
quote:
Originally posted by justjoe:
quote:
Originally posted by ASKSmith:
How do you get a witch pregnant?



You fuck her.


That one actually made me laugh.

I need to get more sleep....


The way I heard it was... How do you get a nun pregnant?


No, you dress her up like an altar boy....


A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone.
The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots.
March 02, 2017, 11:28 AM
George43
What is the difference between a Doctor and God?



God doesn't think he is a doctor.


A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone.
The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots.
March 02, 2017, 11:30 AM
}BuLL
What did the husband say to his wife when he got a hole in his sock?

Darn it
March 02, 2017, 11:41 AM
walkinghorse
Bruce Jenner had to go to the hospital.
He was leaking tranny fluid!


Jim
March 02, 2017, 01:26 PM
IrishWind
quote:
Originally posted by jhe888:
quote:
Originally posted by mrbill345:
quote:
Originally posted by Lord Vaalic:
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob

Same guy in a Lion cage? Claude


Same guy on the porch? Matt

Same guy in a pile of leaves? Russel


Same guy hanging on the wall? Art.


Two guys on the on the wall? Kurt and Rod.


Lord, your ocean is so very large and my divos are so very f****d-up
Dirt Sailors Unite!
March 02, 2017, 02:03 PM
Sgt Neutron
Some guy fell into a gas tank, he became exhausted.
March 02, 2017, 02:50 PM
dsiets
quote:
Originally posted by Sgt Neutron:
Some guy fell into a gas tank, he became exhausted.


Or
What do you get when you run behind a car? Exhausted.

What do you get when you run in front of a car? Tired.