My doctor asked how I was doing cutting back on my alcohol consumption.
Me: Fine. I have reduced it some. Her: What methods are you using? Me: I switched to a smaller glass. The bourbon is downstairs and I'm usually upstairs. Her: Well, if you don't decrease the drinking, you'll at least get a some more exercise. That's something, I suppose.
Smart lady, that 'un.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
March 30, 2019, 07:04 PM
Doc H.
I don't drink anything stronger than pop. But Pop will drink anything.
"And gentlemen in England now abed, shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's Day"
March 30, 2019, 08:01 PM
jhe888
I don't drink any more.
I don't drink any less, either.
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
March 30, 2019, 08:19 PM
dsiets
March 30, 2019, 08:53 PM
egregore
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March 30, 2019, 09:31 PM
BGULL
Try the veal, they’ll be here all week.......
Bill Gullette
March 30, 2019, 10:20 PM
zoom6zoom
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
March 31, 2019, 01:44 AM
Woodman
There's more old drunks than there are old doctors ... I guess I better have another round.
March 31, 2019, 02:41 AM
kkina
I've been reading so much about the dangers of drinking lately that I've decided to give up reading.
I am a member of DAMM - Drunks Against Mad Mothers
[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC
March 31, 2019, 03:26 AM
newmexican
I used to drink....
I still drink but I used to too.
March 31, 2019, 03:27 AM
OKCGene
If you drink, don’t drive.
If you drink, don’t park.
Parking causes babies.
Drinking, parking, making babies, not good.
March 31, 2019, 07:16 AM
PHPaul
I thought for a while there I had a drinking problem.
Then I got new glasses. Don't knock the glass over reaching for it any more.
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
March 31, 2019, 08:22 AM
H&K-Guy
I completely gave up drinking once.
Worst two hours of my life.
H&K-Guy
March 31, 2019, 11:17 AM
Jager
I didn't get in trouble every time I drank.
But every time I did get in trouble, I'd been drinking.
March 31, 2019, 11:23 AM
ensigmatic
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher
March 31, 2019, 01:14 PM
Unishot
Happy hour with friends is about much more than drinking. It's about drinking much more.
Insert your favorite gun-related witticism here!
March 31, 2019, 01:55 PM
PHPaul
quote:
Originally posted by ensigmatic: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.
Reminds me of the Chief Petty Officer's Creed:
"A Chief Petty Officer never drinks. But if he does drink, he never gets drunk. However, if he should get drunk, he never falls down. If by some chance he should fall down, he lands on his left side so as to hide his rating badge and passers-by will think he's a Junior Officer."
Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
March 31, 2019, 02:00 PM
synthplayer
quote:
Originally posted by PHPaul:
quote:
Originally posted by ensigmatic: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.
Reminds me of the Chief Petty Officer's Creed:
"A Chief Petty Officer never drinks. But if he does drink, he never gets drunk. However, if he should get drunk, he never falls down. If by some chance he should fall down, he lands on his left side so as to hide his rating badge and passers-by will think he's a Junior Officer."
You have to admire that kind of self discipline!
Of all the enemies the American citizen faces, the Democrat Party is the very worst.
March 31, 2019, 06:06 PM
grumpy1
I haven't had a single drink in over 20 years. It makes sense to have at least a couple at a time nearby.
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