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| Jack of All Trades, Master of Nothing  |
Bear spray is not bear repellent. Please don't apply it with the same principle as mosquito repellent. - Your Alaskan ER staff My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball. | ||
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| As Extraordinary as Everyone Else  |
HAHAHA! I heard that if you apply it around your eyes it will improve your ability to see bears...any truth to that? ------------------ Eddie Our Founding Fathers were men who understood that the right thing is not necessarily the written thing. -kkina | |||
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| Freethinker |
I didn’t quite laugh out loud, but close.  “I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma.” — The Wizard of Oz This life is a drill. It is only a drill. If it had been a real life, you would have been given instructions about where to go and what to do. | |||
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| Honor and Integrity |
You place some on your upper lip, which then will clean out your nasal passage. This will allow unrestricted air flow to your lungs, thus allowing you to outrun the bear. | |||
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| Member |
The hard part is chasing down the bear to spray him! End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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| Member |
Most products come with instructions. POINT can away from face towards bear. You know like a Claymore: FRONT face towards ENEMY. I guess REAL men don't need instructions. | |||
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| Member |
Bells. | |||
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| Too soon old, too late smart |
Oh yes, don’t forget the bells for the bear; big ones that’ll kill him when he tries to pass them. | |||
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אַרְיֵה |
You don't need to outrun the bear. You just need to outrun the person who is with you. הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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Corgis Rock |
In Alaska grizzly bear poop smells like bear spray and has silver bells in it. “ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. | |||
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| Peace through superior firepower  |
Also, do not shampoo your hair with barbecue sauce, at least in bear country. Very important. | |||
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| Just for the hell of it  |
I don't see a problem. Let stupid be stupid. We all can get some entertainment out of it. _____________________________________ Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain. Jack Kerouac | |||
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| Let's be careful out there |
well, some folks just self-deselect from the gene pool. And that's a good thing. | |||
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| 186,000 miles per second. It's the law. |
And be sure your bear gun has a good melt job. No sharp edges. That way it won't hurt as much when the bear shoves it up your ass. | |||
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| That rug really tied the room together.  |
I literally spit sweet tea all over the monitor. LMAO!! ______________________________________________________ Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow | |||
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Ammoholic |
Thank goodness I set my drink down prior to reading that. Jesse Sic Semper Tyrannis | |||
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Drill Here, Drill Now |
To increase your odds of obtaining up close bear photos, an insider’s tip is to drive straight to PetSmart immediately after your plane lands in Anchorage. Go to the dog section and buy their largest bottle of salmon oil. Once you arrive at the trailhead for hiking, slather yourself down with salmon oil. Hike down to the river and wait for your inevitable photo op. 60% of the time, it works every time  Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer. | |||
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| Lead slingin' Parrot Head  |
This story reminds me of a similar story my brother and I like to laugh about. Years ago we went on an ATV camping trip along with two brothers that were friends of ours. Although it was Summer time our camp site was @ 8500' and it got below freezing our first night. Right around sun down, as the heat of the day gave way to cool evening temps the mosquitoes came out in force. The two brothers we were riding/ camping with broke out their brand new can of mosquito repellent...and only mere moments later both reported that they had lost most feeling in their lips and what remained was nothing more than a tingling sensation... ...I grabbed the can from them and pointed out the directions in which it plainly stated don't spray on your face or other sensitive skin. Although some believe that such actions should result in an automatic revocation of your "man card" I'm a firm believer in RTFD. 2000Z-71 thanks for the laugh! | |||
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