To all the people that always said I'd never amount to much because of my procrastination...just you wait

I always wanted to be a comedian, but was afraid people would laugh at me...

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology.
Don't buy it.

https://www.youtube.com/@DockTok These guys sit around drinking coffee and telling groaners.

Had to change my password at work
Changed it to HamburgerHelper
Windows said it wasn't Stroganoff

I'm going to start a line of inexpensive clothing.
I'll call it Cheapskate the Label.

I starting up a magazine on men’s fashion for those of us that like jeans and polo shirts. Going to call it Vague.

Speaking of pronouns (or not), did you know there is a candy bar with pronouns?
It's the Her/She chocolate bar. (S'mores).
Ironically, there is a Her/She candy bar with nuts. (almonds)

My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
That joke started off strong, but it weekend.


He didn't have a dad bod … he has a father figure.
How can you tell a joke is a dad joke? It is fully groan.
What’s the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke? Just the first letter.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Those who ignore the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Did you know cannibals don't eat clowns?
They taste funny.
.

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
How can you tell a joke is a dad joke? It is fully groan.

It is quite apparent.

It is so hot out, my garlic has taken off it's cloves.

I bought a sweater that always had static electricity.
I returned it. They gave me a new one free of charge.

I am currently unsupervised. It scares the crap out of me, but the possibilities are endless...

I've got a weak back. It started a week back.