It's different for everybody (no shit, Captain Obvious...) but I reached a point right around your age where stress was affecting my health and my marriage. The source of that stress was the best-paying job I ever had. I had plenty of money and lots of toys.

What I didn't have was time. After a particularly stressful day at work I finally realized that all my "toys" were sitting around gathering dust because I had no time, my wife and I spent most of what little time we had together bitching at each other and even the dog was avoiding me.

Then my old boss retired and I met the new boss. I'm a piss-poor judge of people but it was glaringly obvious that we weren't going to get along. Fortunately, I had my Navy pension to fall back on, so I quit. Took a part time job at half the hourly wage.

Life got better almost immediately.

A wordy way of saying Time is Precious and you can't buy more. Decide if you'd rather use it up making money you can manage without or enjoying what you already have, both materially and relationship-wise.

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I've reached a sort of apogee for my career, but with that comes immense responsibility. 60 hours a week for the most part.

That might be a good place to start your introspective. If you're doing that for someone else and not yourself, there had better be some mighty big rewards.

It’s questions like this that make me wish JALLEN was here to depart some of his wisdom.

Maybe go back and reread some of his posts.

Me? I’m 62 and have some questions but am looking forward to a new life phase.

As I approach my 70th birthday, I wish I had started earlier my investing for retirement. It doesn’t have to be an all consuming task, but putting aside as much as you can will definitely pay off in the long run. JALLEN was surely a great source of wisdom on this subject, and that’s one of the many reasons he will be sorely missed here.

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Originally posted by r0gue:
Thank you everyone for your replies and advice. Great stuff! The idea of moving to Florida is Sooo appealing after 4 months of winter. Talk about wishing your time away!

My dream was to one day retire,sell the house and move to Florida to work for that big entertainment company in central Florida.
In August of 1999 this is what we did.I was 33 my wife was 31.
As I wrote in my post above those were the thing that made me do it much sooner than later. My wife agreed we were on the way to divorce.

I would get up in the morning put my boots on and think, they were not coming off till midnight.
We spent almost no time together.
It got so bad we had to try to have a date night on Fridays. Friday was the only night at my part time career I did not have a class to teach and my wife usually did not have to work her part time job.
Because I worked so much my wife took a part time job on top of her regular job. She worked nights and weekends so even if I was not teaching at my part time job she was working. At that time we made a lot of money and no time to spend it but we were not very happy.

I WISHED MY LIFE AWAY just to get to our 2 week vacation at that big entertainment company I eventually ended up working for.
My wife and I loved the area in Florida we moved to until about 2 years ago. We have seen such explosive growth in our area the roads can't handle it any more. Inter state 4 is so bad where I live I refer to it more as a parking lot than a highway.
If some day you do move to Florida do your research. Look to see where you would like to live make sure it does not create more aggravation than it is worth.
My wife and I own property in the mountains of Tennessee. We figure in 10 years we are done with Florida and will build our retirement home on the side of our mountain. If there was any meaningful work in the area we would have moved already but there is not.

In a way it is almost like we are WISHING OUR LIVES AWAY again to get to retirement so we can move.
The one good thing is, I may be going to work where my wife works. I would be teach safety training classes. This will give us more time together.

One of the things my wife and I have been doing more of in the last 5 years is going on more vacations. We love to go on cruises and have done 10 7day Disney cruises in 19 years and of those we have done 6 in the last 5 years. We have 2 more Disney cruises this year and an Alaskan cruise on Princess for our 30th wedding anniversary in 2020.
We have no children,no car payments and no mortgage on our house. We have decided to spend some (not all but some) of our retirement money now. We have no idea what the future holds and don't want to wait to retire to find out we are no longer able to travel for what ever reason. I have seen this happen to some people I know. They worked hard,saved their money turned 65 and retired and almost never leave their homes to travel anymore.

We also spend a lot of time together shooting IDPA,ICORE,Carbine,Zombi and steel matches at the gun club we are members of.
You have to find out what is best for you and your family and follow your heart.

P.S. five years ago when I had my mid life crises I bought a Scion F-RS sports car.
My wife loves to drive that car more than I do

I am now 75, but I still remember advice given to me many years ago by my mother. Our family had just finished Christmas and I casually commented that she always gave more presents than she received. Her answer:

"Well, as you can see, people can get a little bit of happiness by getting a gift and also by giving a gift. I learned a long time ago that I had a whole lot more control over how much I give than how much I get. That is why you see me enjoying my Christmas so much every year. I don't allow other people to control my happiness - I make my own!"

I now try to practice her way of staying happy. I am blessed with kids and grand-kids and great-grand-kids. Whatever I can give them (whether it is advice, assistance, or gifts) brings contentment to me in my old age and distracts me from worrying about my problems or longevity! Now I truly understand that it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.

(I also try to give outside the family, but time and money and opportunity kind of limit my "harvest of happiness" from those fields.

People give up their health to get money then they give up all that money to try And get their health back. I've seen it many times. Enjoy life now. Don't wait until some day in the future that will never come. Spend time with family and friends. Travel. A big pile of money in the bank and you In the nursing home won't do any good.

Just 48? I had to medically retire at that age. The years have gone by so quickly since. Do what you enjoy whatever your age.

Sage advice from someone who wished he was only 48...buy new socks, it'll make you forget your age.

Nurture the family relationships... they will become more and more important as you grow older.

I'm just a little bit younger than you and understand what you are saying, with kids in college and growing up fast.

One thing I started to realize the last 2 years the first born was home was the "Enjoy Your Children While You Can Because They Grow up so Fast". It is SOOOO true and while I consider myself a very involved father and we made pretty close to the most of it, I wish we'd taken more family trips. It's hard when money is tight, things are busy, etc but those moments are fleeting.

I had an opportunity to join the rat race after the Navy and be like some close friends, who got MBAs and am sure are killing it making several hundred grand a year, but also working the 60-80 hours a week to make that happen. I decided to work in a niche market as a part owner and while at times it is busy, I normally work from home and while I make good money, I could easily make double if I wanted to move and get back into the race. The grind, stress, and time away from kids / family isn't worth it to me.

Then again I'm not one who feels I need to provide the kids with a 100% paid college education, so some of that financial stress isn't there. I'll help but I'm not missing them growing up in order to pay the entire tab. Scholarships, some help from us, and some hard work will get them where they want to go.

Another thought in terms of advice. I always loved the "Serenity prayer." Think it is something worth reminding ourselves and I do on occasion.


"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference".

Amen!

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Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
Take care of your health.

I confess I haven't read all the responses yet, but I think this is the best. I retired last year at 58 and my biggest regret is not taking better care of my health. Since retiring, I have been plagued with various problems that were exacerbated by my neglect. Instead of enjoying my first year of retirement, I have spent way too much time on doctor visits, rehab, etc.

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Originally posted by 71 TRUCK:

I WISHED MY LIFE AWAY just to get to our 2 week vacation ...

You reminded me of this blog post I read recently, which seems appropriate to this topic:

How to Craft A Life You Don’t Need to Escape From
WRITTEN by JOSHUA BECKER

There is a quote from Seth Godin I love to post in the Becoming Minimalist Facebook group. It goes like this:

Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.

The quote is appreciated by most people who see it. But there are always a few (on any quote that I post) who want to disagree, dissent, and argue with the sentiment.

In this particular case, they comment that vacations are fun and traveling is good. Both of which I do not disagree with. The point of the quote is not whether vacations are fun and traveling is good.

The point of the quote is rather than only enjoying our life while on vacation, holiday, or weekend, we should strive to make our lives the ones we want to be living—every day of the week.

Rather than seeing vacation as your annual opportunity to escape life… craft a life you don’t need to escape from.

This is not necessarily easy to do. But it is entirely possible. In fact, for the most part, I have done this with my life. I love my every day. I don’t count the days until the weekend, I enjoy Monday as much as I do Saturday.

Here are nine ways to begin crafting a life you don’t need to escape:

1. Make Relationships a Priority.

The old adage is quite true, “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” Loving relationships bring a joy into our lives that can never be matched by income, title, or career achievements. People matter and are worth the effort. It is important to notice in the adage above that several types of relationships are important to our well-being. One, where we are being loved by another. And a second, where we are pouring out love. Work to have both.

2. Remove Unneeded Possessions from Your Home and Life.

Physical possessions are a burden to us. They require time, energy, money, and always distract us from the things in life that matter most. It is difficult to fully appreciate how much of a burden our possessions have become until we begin to remove them. Contrary to what advertisers shout from the rooftop, more stuff will not make you happy. Quite the opposite is true. The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.

3. Make Your Work Your Job.

Vicki Robin, in the first issue of Simple Money Magazine (which you can download for free) draws a helpful distinction between “work” and “job.” Your job, she would say, is what you do for money to provide shelter, clothing, and food. Your work, on the other hand, is what you do to contribute to others, the causes you are passionate about, and the good you wish to bring into this world. When your work is also your job, you have achieved a sweet spot in life.

4. Or, See Your Job as Part of Your Work.

Of course, #3 above is not always possible for all people. Sometimes, our work does not provide financial compensation and pursuing our passion as a career is not always feasible. Still other times, because of the immediacy of life’s demands, we are required to do the job in front of us for the sake of providing for those who are counting on us. In those cases, there is still opportunity to craft a life you do not need to escape from. But it requires us to rethink the nature of our job by focusing on the good that it brings into the world and recognizing how it aligns with our work in other ways.

5. Guard Your Time.

Not every pursuit in life deserves your energy. It is important for each of us to become more aware of what is truly worth the hours of our one, short, important life. Those who have crafted a life they love have not done so by saying “yes” to every opportunity or invitation in their inbox. They have done so by guarding their time ruthlessly for the things that matter most and by learning to say “no” graciously to the others.

6. Take Care of Yourself.

There is little joy in a selfish life focused entirely on self. What matters at the end of our life is not the house we lived in, the car we drove, or the possessions we purchased. What will matter in the end is how we treated others. Keep selfless living the goal of life. However, an empty cup cannot pour into another. If we are going to live selfless lives (the true measure of success), we must learn that caring for ourselves is the first step in caring for others. Rest, exercise, and pursue healthy habits… we need you to be the best version of yourself.

7. Appreciate Your Season in Life.

Just as seasons of the year come and go, so do seasons of life. We’re kids, in college, young adults, newly married, raising children, empty-nesters, grandparents, caring for aging parents, being cared for ourselves… or any combination of the seasons above. Those who are most satisfied with life are those who appreciate the current season of life they are in and learn to make the most of it. They do not long for the next one or attempt to continue living in the previous one. They accept the reality of changing seasons and embrace each one with grace and resolve.

8. Understand the Reality of Trials in Life.

Every person in life is either in the middle of a trial, has just emerged from one, or is heading toward the next. Trials and storms come and go—sometimes as a result of our own poor decisions and sometimes as the result of living in an imperfect world. Trials often become the very thing we most wish to escape in life—sometimes for good reason. But given the nature of their constant existence, how can we learn to appreciate the life we have in the midst of these trials? First, we embrace the reality of their existence. And second, we look for the good in the midst of them (no matter how hard we need to look).

9. Find Happiness in Your Every Day.

Happiness is not something to be pursued, it is something to be discovered and recognized. If you are expecting to find happiness after _____ changes, you will never discover it. The hardest truth to grasp about happiness is also the most promising: It can be experienced each day regardless of your current lot in life. As Thomas Kinkade once said, “True simplicity begins when you learn to enjoy the amazing abundance of what is already yours.”

If you want to craft a life you do not need to escape from, you can do so. It may require you to change your mindset, your pursuits, or where you focus your energy, but it is always worth it.

I was a little younger than you when I decided I had to start planning for retirement. Got the house paid for at 54 and I was putting the max that I could into my 401k and 15% of my take home pay into savings. We always had enough to keep doing the things we enjoy, we just cut back on luxuries and eating out as much. It paid off in a big way. I pay cash for everything now including the last 2 vehicles we've owned. The sense of freedom and comfort that imparts is priceless. Friends and family are a big part of our lives now that we are in our 70's. My wife went through a live threatening medical issue in 2010 and I fought through cancer with chemo, radiation and major surgery 3 years ago. If we hadn't prepared for our financial well being early on the cost of those incidents would have been devastating.

One other thing is to set goals to reach no matter how small or weighty. I wake up every morning with a goal to work on. Right now the goal is find a new vehicle to purchase that will last the rest of our lives. After that is done we'll come up with a new one.

Jim

Don't stop there.

Stretch.

Exercise if you want, recommended, but stretch.

Along with the other wisdoms here I'll something about work which I heard from a friend.

At the end, no one ever says "I wish I'd have worked more".

My e-mail is in my profile.
If you send me your snail mail address, I will send you a book, “The Seasons of a Man’s Life” by Prof. Daniel Levinson at Yale. He did years of research on how a man’s life changes as he passes through time. It’s very solid.
Gail Sheehy stole his ideas and wrote a best-seller, “Passages”.

The point is—well, remember the Byrd’s “Turn, Turn, Turn”? To everything there is a season.

I have always worked under the idea that no one is responsible for one's happiness other than that person. Happiness is an inner feeling, and is not dependent on external influences. One can be happy living in squalor, and also in plenty. Happiness comes from finding something in one's life to enjoy. There should always be something that can do so, and one needs to focus attention there.

flashguy

Start doing those physically demanding things.

For me it was/is elk hunting. You'll run out of health before you run out of money or the desire to do things.