We became first-time grandparents last month. We have been down here with the kids for almost six weeks, working on that change-of-focus process with our daughter. Renting a nice home for six weeks has been great and oh so expensive. Not sustainable for frequent visits.

We have for years thought about RV life. We watch various RV YT channels, lots of how-to videos, and had a vacation with a rental 32-foot Class C and a vacation with a 26-foot trailer. The kids, when we asked about us moving here, said "we don't know where we will be in two years...buying here seems like the wrong approach." And, with houses here, eight hours away by car from our home, priced in the stratosphere, buying a home here leaves us house poor. My wife, in that crazy brain process only females have, reasoned that an RV could do what we want to do with the granddaughter and other life goals. Sedona, Utah, SD, TN, ...

We would keep the paid-off house we have, avoid spending a lot of money on it, focus on RV for say five years, and then make the change to wherever the kids end up. Could be back in their school-age hometown, for all I know, right where we live now.

Question:
How would you approach the grandparent stage of life?

Choices:
Stay where we are, fly or drive to kids, hotels...
Move to kids now, move again later...
Stay where we are, buy RV + Truck, travel!!!
Some other solution (please comment)

 

Is there somewhere near to rent an RV or trailer park?

If you buy an RV, trailer ETC. Make sure the Mrs. is aware of all the ins and outs of RV living. Buy used, tons of people buy them and then figure out it isn't for them

Also, they may not want you that close all of the time

Feel you, all ours are here, I'd like to move north to the cooler areas of the mountains, alas Wife/woman brain won't allow that to happen even though she's on board living elsewhere... LOL

Fly N Drive, find a LT rental in the area, and you could just fly the wife down often depending on where they live, find an alternative airport that has discounted air travel. Wife could then stay with them if they have the room...

We have two airports here, one the main Orlando MCO has more connections but the other is smaller, easier to get into and out, and lower cost Allegiant Air which means sub $200 air fare in many cases.

If you do buy an RV, look for pre-owned these things drop in value big time,

RV's can be expensive to purchase, expensive to operate and expensive to maintain so make sure you figure out the true cost of ownership prior to purchasing along with where you plan to park it when not in use.

Factoring in depreciation if you buy new and opportunity cost on the investments the money could have been invested in and RVs may not be the best option.

We have one and used it a lot, 6 times a year, and I thought we’d be getting a motor home and go traveling once the kids were gone. My wife is not on the same page.

My vote is fly in when you want to, and rent a really cheap 1BR or studio near the kids. Hotels get expensive really fast, making a rental cost effective. Staying with the kids can get claustrophic.

Leaving a home unoccupied becomes expensive. Renting it out can be painful. Some people are fine with it, but we've done it and I hate being landlord (i.e. having other people in MY home). If you will spend a lot of time away traveling or at the kids to where your home will be vacant most of the time, I would seriously consider selling your home and most everything in it.

If it were me, I'd buy a used trailer not a motorhome, and take extended road trips. A good used rig will be cheaper than renting, if you use it.

My observation of retired friends is that very few actually spend nearly full time living near to the kids after the kids had previously moved away. It may last a year or two, especially if there are special situations (medical, financial). The parents end up wanting to pursue their interests while they have health, and the kids want independence from parental oversight.

Selling your home raises financial risks. Will it be worth a bunch more in a couple of years? If you invest the proceeds, will the market lose money over the next 2 years? Additionally, after the year you or your wife turn 63, capital gains on your home can trigger IRMAA on your medicare. It complicates your math and guesses by $7k - $20k per person who is over 63 in the year you sell.

A decent RV is $100k to start.

Take that $100k, invest at 8% gives you $8k a year to cover travel.

We knew that when we retired we would move 'somewhere' else. The question was, 'To where'. Then when we did retire we sold everything, bought a motorhome and hit the road looking for the perfect place. A bit over 13 years later we finally settled down, bought a new home and sold the RV.

We did not have kids/grandkids, so that didn't affect our decision, but we did have other family scattered hither and yon and the RV made traveling and visiting a lot simpler. Along the way we made new RV friends, saw ~ 0.39% of the country and had some great adventures.

Kids/grandkids - I have a friend who retired to a great waterfront condo in the San Juan Islands. When his son and daughter-in-law had a child they sold the condo (and great boat) and bought a new home in Las Vegas to be close to them. That worked for about a year until the son took a job in another state...

Have you asked your daughter how much they want you around? Honest question.

My kids love when we come to visit. And they love when we leave. A 2 week visit is wonderful but it also throws their routines and schedules into chaos. Bedtimes, the number of cookies being eaten, when they were younger, the grandkid's perception of who was in charge. The other set of grandparents are not welcome to visit due to not understanding boundaries.

I voted the RV route but, if your daughter wanted you close by all the time, then I would say to move there, and move again. Grandkids are worth it. If they like seeing you, but want to develop their own family structure, then RV it.

I'm assuming your daughter and SIL are still fairly young, so I think it's reasonable to expect that they'll be moving more than once from where they are now. Do you want to wind up following them all over the country (potentially)? My sense is that unless those moves happen to occur at the right time(s) in the real estate market, there's at least an even chance that you'll end up losing money on them. Full disclosure: When my parents finally both retired, they moved 500 miles to be near my sister and her kids, so there's that.

If you REALLY enjoyed the RV experiences you've had then I'd vote stay where you are and get the RV. The thought there being that you'll likely use it for more than just visiting your grandkid(s) and are therefore more likely to get your money's worth of use from it. On the other hand (if you didn't enjoy it a LOT), you can pay for a lot of plane tickets and rentals with what it would cost to buy (and maintain and fuel) the RV.

Compared to the cost of owning/operating an RV for a few years while you figure things out, you are more likely to lose a boatload of money in real estate chasing your kids around the country if they move for their careers.

If you pull up stakes to move closer to them and it doesn't work out for some reason, you will probably be kicking yourself. It happened to some relatives of ours who moved from LA to Oregon. Sold their home of 35+ years, now hate Oregon, the kids moved and they can't afford to buy back in to So Cal real estate market.

Why risk that when you can try RV life for a few years with virtually no risk?

Personally I wouldn't be happy living in an RV for any length of time especially considering where I see most of them jammed together in parks almost touching one another. But many do seem to enjoy doing so, I'd just say rent a Cruise America and try it first.

I see you are in VA where is the family?

Just throwing out a few things I do:

Bring the grandkids to your home for a week or 2 a couple times a year. Gives them someplace different and the parents some alone time.

Rent a cabin or beach house once or twice a year where you all can go.

My daughter and SIL's house has a walk-out basement with its own bedroom and bath as a guest area that I use 6 or so times a year. Not for long only for a few days at a time because I don't want to intrude on their family routine and life.

The combination of all the above lets me enjoy plenty of time with them.

Or how about fly in, and if you are going to be there for a week or more rent an RV locally, then a lot space and have that as base of operations? Way less financial and time commitment.

quote:

then make the change to wherever the kids end up.

"End up" is an optimistic term. Unless they are starting a local business or in a very specific profession (and in today's world that may not matter) the chance of them "ending up" somewhere in 5 years and thereafter is optimistic.

I'm with some of the others who are pessimistic about chasing kids around the country as a retirement strategy.

And yes, I have two adult married kids and currently one grandchild.

ORC (below) ain't wrong either for once. Someone needs to let the kids be 50-75% of this decision, not just hostage passengers on Grandparents Air.

The key to your question was about your wife and how females try to cope with this is a recipe for an unhappy stage of your lives.

Seeing grandkids is cool. Planning your life around your kids life and theirs will only make her happy. In that mind of hers. In reality it is a poor decision for all. As hard as it is. Women, more than men. Have a difficult time letting family live their own lives. But that is what needs to happen for them to thrive on their own.

I love my parents and still do at their advanced age. I never had them breathing down our neck. And never wanted or needed them to either. It was a great a healthy love and respect. That is how it should be. Now days parents are nuts and meddlers and are a big reason their kids marriages go to shit.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: old rugged cross,

This is the first grandchild.
Once they're settled into the new lifestyle, will long term visiting or living nearby be desirable for all of you?
Or would shorter visits and having them visit you be a better answer?

quote:

Originally posted by Patriot:
A decent RV is $100k to start.

Take that $100k, invest at 8% gives you $8k a year to cover travel.

Where can you get a "safe" 8%. CDs are 3.9-4%.

In 1985 my wife and I decided to rent an RV for a New England Coast road trip. We went with a small unit, I don't know what class it would have been.

First day, we picked up a nail in a tire. We had to find a truck garage to get it repaired.
Second day, it started to rain. We found out rain on metal makes a racket. I can sleep through a hurricane. My wife? Not so much. By the fourth day she was at wits end and we found a B&B for a good nights sleep.
Returning home in the middle of Maine, the RV decided to stop running. In a stroke of fortune, it died uphill from an RV dealer so we coasted in. The unit was repaired in an hour (electrical component failure) and we were on our way.
We returned the unit and decided we could stay in a B&B for not much more cost than RVing (considering campground cost, gas and RV cost). We never did the RV thing again.

My long winded point? Rent one for a few nights, see how you like RV life (the unit, the campgrounds and the driving). Some folks love them, I get it, but they are not for everyone.

RV life is not for everyone. I said that, not to discourage you. We have been RVing for over 10 years now. Started with an 18ft travel trailer (1 year), 32 ft Class C (5 years) and current one we have is a 33ft Class A. Living in an RV is doable, provided both you and your wife like the lifestyle. Staying in one place for a long period of time defeats the purpose of having an RV. Typically, you get an RV so you can move around, every few weeks or months. If you are planning of taking the grandkids to a roadtrip/adventure, I’m sure they will love it. We have a family friend who purchased a brand new Class C. Used it for 1 summer road trip with their youngest daughter. After the trip, they realized that RV life is not for them. They sold the RV in less than a year of ownership. You can try and rent for a couple of weeks and stay in a campground near your family. See if you and your wife will like the lifestyle.

If your plan is to be around them (maybe few months), then maybe a short term lease apartment is an option?

If you plan to get an RV, buy a USED (low mileage) one. You will save a lot of money. However, if you are new to RVing, I suggest you hire a professional RV inspector BEFORE you purchase. Watch our for water damage. Make sure the tires are no more than 3 years old. They are expensive to replace (6 tires). Also, you will need to decide if you want to PULL (5th wheel or travel trailer), or a motorhome (Class A, B or C). If you decide on towable, you will need a reliable (strong enough) tow vehicle. If you decide on a motorhome, you will need a towed vehicle behind that motorhome.

If you have any questions about RV, just let me know if I can give you some answers.

quote:

Originally posted by Patriot:
A decent RV is $100k to start.

Take that $100k, invest at 8% gives you $8k a year to cover travel.

And, you still have $100,000. Buy and RV lose the $8,000 a year plus $50,000 in depreciation in the first year or two.

As others have said they are not for everyone. Rent different types. Fifth wheel, pull trailer, class A,B, or C. Also make sure that you can live comfortably in the size RV you settle on. Nothing like being caught in a small RV in a week long storm. I'd keep the house.