whats the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
you take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline
[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC
August 24, 2019, 03:40 PM
Bytes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the clarinet recital
August 24, 2019, 04:06 PM
Pipe Smoker
Victor Borge: “My father played the viola. A lot of people don't know the difference between the violin and viola. Unfortunately, my father happened to be one of them.
Actually, the difference is that the viola burns longer.”
Serious about crackers.
August 24, 2019, 04:15 PM
henryarnaud
How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
Put sheet music in front of him.
------
What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
------
How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
His knocking slows down.
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." Sherlock Holmes
August 24, 2019, 04:21 PM
Jim Shugart
How can a girl tell she's kissing a horn player? He tries to put his hand up her butt.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
August 24, 2019, 04:50 PM
Maestro
How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One- she holds it, and the world revolves around her.
How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None- they can't get that high.
What's the difference between a drummer and Dr Scholl's foot pads?
Foot pads buck up the feet.
What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull?
The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.
August 24, 2019, 05:08 PM
Bytes
What do you throw a drowning French horn player? His case.
August 24, 2019, 05:46 PM
ffips
What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's fifth movement.
August 24, 2019, 08:28 PM
nhtagmember
[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC
August 24, 2019, 08:33 PM
mark123
Singer: Knock, knock.
Guitarist: Who's there?
Singer: The singer
Guitarist: The singer who?
...
Guitarist: THE SINGER WHO?!?
Singer: Oh, is this where I come in?This message has been edited. Last edited by: mark123,
August 25, 2019, 07:03 AM
nosticks
What is better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Awake not woke
August 25, 2019, 09:44 AM
whododat
What are your thoughts on Liberace?
He was a virtuoso on the piano but sucked on the organ.
Because son, it is what you are supposed to do.
August 25, 2019, 01:02 PM
Rightwire
What do drummers usually get on their exams" - Drool
A three piece band consisting of a guitarist, bass player and drummer were schedule for a gig. The drummer was in an accident in route and would be very late. The other two decided to start without him. They agreed that during each solo, the other would walk to the other end of the venue and listen. The concert proceeded and both did as planned. When they convened during their break to compare notes they both said the same thing.... "Too much drums"
One night out on the prairie a group of settlers and their Indian guide had camped for the night. As they were getting ready for bed drums started in the distance. The settlers began to get nervous but the Indian guide assured them "Hear drums, all ok"
After a while the drums suddenly stopped and the Indian guide was heard saying "uh oh". In the midst of scrambling for weapons fearing attack someone yelled to the guide frantically "WHAT NOW!!
The guide responded with fear in his voice "Bass solo"
Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys
343 - Never Forget
Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat
There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive.
August 25, 2019, 03:57 PM
zoom6zoom
Ya gotta B Sharp to beat these guys to a joke.
I have my own style of humor. I call it Snarkasm.
August 25, 2019, 05:04 PM
henryarnaud
quote:
Originally posted by zoom6zoom: Ya gotta B Sharp to beat these guys to a joke.
Sorry, but that joke was flat.
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." Sherlock Holmes
August 25, 2019, 07:14 PM
nhtagmember
Q: what is the definition of a half-tone?
A: two bagpipes in tune
Q: why are bagpipers always marching?
A: they're trying to get away from the noise
[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC
August 26, 2019, 06:38 AM
JDHunz
How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
You pay them for the pizza...
What does a clarinet player use for birth control?
Their personality...
___________________________ "Those that can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others..."
August 26, 2019, 09:13 AM
sig sailor
A musician is a person that loads $5,000 worth of equipment into a van and drives 100 miles to a gig that pays $50. Rod
"Do not approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction." John Deacon, Author
I asked myself if I was crazy, and we all said no.
