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Drill Here, Drill Now
Picture of tatortodd
posted
For those of you with fears of something crawling out of the toilet and biting you, here is a new one - Grizzly Bears!!!
quote:
Alaska woman visits outhouse, bear takes a bite out of her backside: report

Brown bears are typically dormant during the winter – but they don’t go into a 'true hibernation'

In the wilderness, you need to watch your butt sometimes.

An Alaska woman camping with her brother near Chilkat Lake over the weekend nearly had to kiss hers goodbye when she encountered a bear in the outhouse, she told a local radio station.

"I got in there and sat down on the toilet seat, and something just immediately bit me in the butt," Shannon Stevens told the Haines, Alaska-based KHNS Wednesday. "I jumped up and screamed."

The commotion got the attention of her brother, Erik Stevens, who said he ran over to the outhouse.

"I take the headlamp and I grab the lid of the toilet seat and I lift it up," he told the station. "Right at the level of the toilet seat, maybe an inch or two below, is a gigantic bear face looking right back up at me."

The duo ran back to shelter, cleaned up Shannon’s injuries, which were not serious, and hunkered down for the night, the Anchorage Daily News reported. The next morning, they found tracks leading from their campfire to the outhouse, but the bear itself was gone.

They said the animal may have entered below the outhouse through a downhill opening and made its way toward the seat.

Although bear sightings should be minimal during February as the animals hunker down for winter, state biologist Carl Koch told the newspaper that he’d heard of at least two confirmed sightings this month in the Haines area.

Most brown bear sightings occur in the summer, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, coinciding with the salmon spawning season. Males can weigh between 500 and 900 pounds. They are considered the "largest living land carnivore," although their diets also include plants.

Black bears, also omnivores, are much smaller -- with males topping out around 200 pounds.

Both bears are typically dormant during the winter – but they don’t go into a "true hibernation," according to the Wildlife Service.

"When we are out there in the summer or the fall I’m used to shouting ‘Hey, bear,’ the whole way," Shannon told the radio station. "It was the dead of winter -- I didn’t think to do that this time."



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 23816 | Location: Northern Suburbs of Houston | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I guess that answers the age old question. Does a bear shit in the woods? Hell no! It uses an outhouse Big Grin
 
Posts: 476 | Location: Greenfield, IN | Registered: December 29, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'd probably be grumpy too if I was napping and someone tried to take a crap on my head.




"The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford, "it is."
"So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn't occur to them. They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards."
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard, then the wrong lizard might get in."
 
Posts: 3595 | Location: Two blocks from the Center of the Universe | Registered: December 30, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Wait, what?
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That would scare the shit out of me...




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Posts: 15923 | Location: Martinsburg WV | Registered: April 02, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drill Here, Drill Now
Picture of tatortodd
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This pervy bear crawled through shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine just to bite a woman on the bum



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 23816 | Location: Northern Suburbs of Houston | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I see hiney nice and shiny....


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Posts: 4038 | Location: Northeast Georgia | Registered: November 18, 2017Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fighting the good fight
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This is why I'm happy to live in a temperate climate.

In the tropics, you have to worry about toilet snakes. In the arctic, you apparently have to worry about toilet bears.

Here, you only have to worry about toilet spiders.
 
Posts: 33269 | Location: Northwest Arkansas | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I thought black bears got a lot bigger than 200lbs. Learn something new every day.
 
Posts: 4035 | Registered: January 25, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by phil in indy:
I guess that answers the age old question. Does a bear shit in the woods? Hell no! It uses an outhouse Big Grin


For the win.


P229
 
Posts: 3964 | Location: Sacramento, CA | Registered: November 21, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drill Here, Drill Now
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quote:
Originally posted by 1s1k:
I thought black bears got a lot bigger than 200lbs. Learn something new every day.
I think the reporter is the one who needs to learn something. 200 lbs would be an average black bear in Alaska. The attack took place in a coastal area so it's likely ample salmon supply which means big bruins.



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 23816 | Location: Northern Suburbs of Houston | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I was camping on 112 in Lincoln NH years back and someone had left some fast food remains in one of the port-o-lets in the camp parking lot.

A black bear tipped over the port-o-let while attempting to get in. It ended up looking like a Smurf-bear in the news the next day.
 
Posts: 4979 | Registered: April 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Jack of All Trades,
Master of Nothing
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quote:
Originally posted by 1s1k:
I thought black bears got a lot bigger than 200lbs. Learn something new every day.

t may have been a black bear before the incident, but I'm sure it's a brown bear now.




My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
 
Posts: 11920 | Location: Eagle River, AK | Registered: September 12, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I can't tell if I'm
tired, or just lazy
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That was the 'Charmin' bear surveying toilet paper usage.


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Posts: 2115 | Location: South Dakota-pheasant country | Registered: June 20, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
No, not like
Bill Clinton
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Hey Bear, does poop stick to your fur?



 
Posts: 5657 | Location: GA | Registered: September 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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If sbe d seen the tracks in the snow, sbe d a known somekind of trouble was bruin.


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Posts: 16271 | Location: Florida | Registered: June 23, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of msfzoe
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So now, to be safe, got to carry a 12 GA Shockwave and a roll of Charmin when visiting the half-moon house.
 
Posts: 2427 | Location: newyorkistan | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Yeah, that M14 video guy...
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That must have been one hungry-ass-bear to go eatin' bare-ass like that.


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Posts: 5571 | Location: Auburndale, FL | Registered: February 13, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Smarter than the
average bear
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Bit her on the butt. I'm imagining my dangly parts and not having good thoughts.
 
Posts: 3559 | Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana | Registered: June 20, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Back, and
to the left
Picture of 83v45magna
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Me neither.

It was probably fortunate that it was a woman cuz it might not be a butt that wound up bit.

Eek Yikes!
 
Posts: 7454 | Location: Dallas | Registered: August 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Sometimes you get the bear. Other times the bear gets you.


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 16468 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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