Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
| Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor  |
A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender said: "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannonball, but I'm fine now." The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." "What about that eye patch?" "Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye!" "You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap!" "It was my first day with the hook." ________________________________________________________ The trouble with trouble is; it always starts out as fun. | ||
|
His Royal Hiney |
I didn't see that coming. "It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946. | |||
|
Fire begets Fire |
That’s funny and I’m gonna borrow it if you don’t mind… However, as someone who lives near salt water, seagull poop can certainly destroy your eyeball! "Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty." ~Robert A. Heinlein | |||
|
The Unmanned Writer |
Just hop right over and you’ll get hooked by them pirate jokes. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own... | |||
|
Member |
 | |||
|
| Member |
The pirate didn't either. | |||
|
| A day late, and a dollar short  |
____________________________ NRA Life Member, Annual Member GOA, MGO Annual Member | |||
|
| Dances With Tornados |
Pirate walks into a bar. Bartender asks Hey Mr Pirate, did you know you’ve got a steering stuck down in your pants? Pirate replies Aaaaarrrrggghhh yes and it’s driving me nuts! . | |||
|
| SIGforum Official Eye Doc  |
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? | |||
|
Member |
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr _____________________ Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you. | |||
|
| SIGforum Official Eye Doc |
No!! The “C!”  | |||
|
| Member |
Joke stolen and posted.  === I would like to apologize to anyone I have *not* offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly. | |||
|
Coin Sniper |
The bartender was a sight for sore eye Pronoun: His Royal Highness and benevolent Majesty of all he surveys 343 - Never Forget Its better to be Pavlov's dog than Schrodinger's cat There are three types of mistakes; Those you learn from, those you suffer from, and those you don't survive. | |||
|
| Member |
The Mrs. liked that one. | |||
|
| Powered by Social Strata |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
© SIGforum 2024