Florida Man Birthday Challenge

"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible."
-- Justice Janice Rogers Brown

"The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth."
-rduckwor

March 21, 2019, 09:40 PM

ArtieS

I get a towfer... first. The neighborhood attack squirrel, and then "Florida Man Tries to Steal Car From Jail Parking Lot Moments After Being Released for Car Theft".
Oh yeah, you go Florida Man...

"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.

March 21, 2019, 10:13 PM

HRK

Florida Man Tells Cop 'That's What She Said' After Being Pulled Over and Questioned About Bulge. The suspect's 'bulge' allegedly contained marijuana and a glass pipe.

March 21, 2019, 10:16 PM

aileron

Florida man caught on video licking doorbell

March 21, 2019, 10:41 PM

craglawnmanor

Florida man dons Spider-Man mask during liquor store burglary.

March 22, 2019, 01:34 AM

sjtill

Aug 7, 2018:

quote:
A Florida man was arraigned last week in East Hampton Town Justice Court, charged with allowing untreated sewage to flow from his 70-foot-long luxury yacht into Lake Montauk. Charles Vaccaro, 60, of Sunny Isles Beach, is facing four misdemeanor charges, two of which carry a minimum fine of $3750 each, and a possible year in jail if convicted.

August 7, 2015:

quote:
Florida man pleads guilty to trading in wild-caught snakes

WASHINGTON (AP) – A Florida man has admitted his role in the trade of 59 illegally caught wild snakes, including a live rattler mailed to him in a coffee can.

Gerard Kruse of Oviedo, Florida, appeared Friday in a federal courtroom in New York City. The 42-year-old social worker pleaded guilty to seven counts of illegally transporting wildlife and six counts of the illegal receipt of wildlife.

Federal prosecutors say the snakes were collected by Kruse and others from various states, including New Jersey, California and Oregon. It is a crime to ship or receive illegally collected snakes across state lines.

One charge stemmed from a deal where Kruse received a package that included a Western diamondback rattlesnake from Texas sealed in a coffee can. It is also unlawful to mail venomous snakes.

March 22, 2019, 03:03 AM

wolfe 21

Florida man masturbates while waiting at social security office.

March 22, 2019, 03:12 AM

Nuclear

Florida man under extreme stress forgets how to stand.

March 22, 2019, 03:44 AM

arfmel

Florida man was arrested after playing a guitar rendition of the national anthem.

March 22, 2019, 04:18 AM

Micropterus

A Florida Man let it all hang out at a strip club, dancer says. He wasn’t part of the act

March 22, 2019, 05:10 AM

gearhounds

Florida man fakes identity for 20 years, duped wife.

March 22, 2019, 05:50 AM

drabfour

Florida man attacked by a ‘crazy squirrel’ gone nuts. And it was raised by a neighbor.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/a...rticle228166959.html

March 22, 2019, 06:18 AM

kz1000

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"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"

"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
-Bomber Harris

March 22, 2019, 06:42 AM

striker1

Florida man threatens to kill neighbors with a machete named ‘Kindness’.

March 22, 2019, 06:47 AM

nhracecraft

Florida Man With No Arms Charged With Stabbing Man With Scissors...

Florida man tries to mow down neighbor with tractor...

Florida man charged after attack on man in Minion costume...

Apparently it was a busy day for crazy!

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If Some is Good, and More is Better.....then Too Much, is Just Enough !!
Trump 47....Make America Great Again!
"May Almighty God bless the United States of America" - parabellum 7/26/20
Live Free or Die!

March 22, 2019, 07:12 AM

kx90

Florida man accidentally kills roommate, dog while committing suicide

March 22, 2019, 07:46 AM

trapper189

quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
quote:
Originally posted by trapper189:
On my actual birthday:

Florida man arrested after threatening to "kill 'em with kindness" before attacking neighbors using a machete with "kindness" written on it.
January 11?

Yes, sir. Spiderman is the at the top of the list, you had already posted it, and it happened on the 2nd, so I picked a different one that happened on the 11th.

There's an aviation related one, but it wasn't funny.