There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose crank was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a c**t I would fuck it

There once was a man from Nantucket
When one day he decided "FUCK IT"
and he lived happily ever after.

The limerick is an art form complex.
The contents run chiefly to sex;
To whores and virgins
And masculine urgings
With vulgar erotic effects.

There was a young girl from Antietam,
Who loved horse turds so much that she'd eat 'em,
She'd hang from the beast's rump,
And devour the lumps,
As fast as the horse could excrete 'em.

A morticians sly daughter named Maddy
Said to an eager & virginal lady
If you do as I say
You’ll have a great lay
Since I’ve buried more stiffs than my daddy.

There once was a pirate named Gates,
who thought he could rumba in skates
He slipped on his cutlass
And now he is mutt-less
And practically useless on dates.

There once was a maid from Madrass
Who had a magnificent ass
Not rounded and pink as you' d probably think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass

There once was a girl from Verizes
Who's tits were two different sizes
One was so small, it was hardly at all,
The other was Huge and won prizes

I wrote this triple limerick for a fanfiction poetry challenge several years ago. Several words had to be used in the poem. In the original story, Xander Cage (Triple X), played by Vin Diesel, would be reciting the limerick off the cuff:

Hot Buns

There was a handsome baker from Kiel,
Whose hot buns were extolled with great zeal,
Smiling women would pinch,
With a grin he would grinch,
"If my breads only held such appeal."

There was a pretty woman from Rhine,
Whose brown eyes and dark locks were quite fine.
When she met the hot baker,
She asked him to take her
Out for drinks while squeezing his 'hind.

When the woman of Rhine slipped him a wink,
The baker of Kiel knew just what to think,
"Your agenda, my dear,
Is most perfectly clear,
You want my hot buns with your drink."

There once was a very young Sioux
Who had a date with a maiden he knioux
Later it was found
That the couple had drowned
Paddling a leaky canioux.

egregore -- outstanding! Never heard that one before.

I once knew a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said "what the Hell
I don't mind the smell
Just think of the money I save"


I once met a queer named Hume
Who took a Lesbian to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom