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There once was a Man from Nantucket! - Today is National Limerick Day! Login/Join 
I Deal In Lead
Picture of Flash-LB
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There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose crank was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a c**t I would fuck it
 
Posts: 8758 | Location: Gilbert Arizona | Registered: March 21, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Step by step walk the thousand mile road
Picture of Sig2340
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There once was a man from Nantucket
When one day he decided "FUCK IT"
and he lived happily ever after.





Nice is overrated

"It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government."
Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018

 
Posts: 29825 | Location: Loudoun County, Virginia | Registered: May 17, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drug Dealer
Picture of Jim Shugart
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The limerick is an art form complex.
The contents run chiefly to sex;
To whores and virgins
And masculine urgings
With vulgar erotic effects.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
 
Posts: 15222 | Location: Virginia | Registered: July 03, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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There was a young girl from Antietam,
Who loved horse turds so much that she'd eat 'em,
She'd hang from the beast's rump,
And devour the lumps,
As fast as the horse could excrete 'em.
 
Posts: 700 | Registered: January 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of CQB60
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A morticians sly daughter named Maddy
Said to an eager & virginal lady
If you do as I say
You’ll have a great lay
Since I’ve buried more stiffs than my daddy.


______________________________________________
The price for procrastination is the life you could’ve lived.
 
Posts: 13269 | Location: VIrtual | Registered: November 13, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of papaac
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There once was a pirate named Gates,
who thought he could rumba in skates
He slipped on his cutlass
And now he is mutt-less
And practically useless on dates.


"Among a people generally corrupt, liberty cannot long exist." Edmund Burke
 
Posts: 4929 | Location: Houston, Texas | Registered: August 29, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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There once was a maid from Madrass
Who had a magnificent ass
Not rounded and pink as you' d probably think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass
 
Posts: 400 | Location: Ocala, FL | Registered: October 09, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of bob ramberg
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There once was a girl from Verizes
Who's tits were two different sizes
One was so small, it was hardly at all,
The other was Huge and won prizes


Bob
Carpe Scrotum
 
Posts: 1236 | Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Madaganistan | Registered: February 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Donate Blood,
Save a Life!
Picture of StarTraveler
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I wrote this triple limerick for a fanfiction poetry challenge several years ago. Several words had to be used in the poem. In the original story, Xander Cage (Triple X), played by Vin Diesel, would be reciting the limerick off the cuff:

Hot Buns

There was a handsome baker from Kiel,
Whose hot buns were extolled with great zeal,
Smiling women would pinch,
With a grin he would grinch,
"If my breads only held such appeal."

There was a pretty woman from Rhine,
Whose brown eyes and dark locks were quite fine.
When she met the hot baker,
She asked him to take her
Out for drinks while squeezing his 'hind.

When the woman of Rhine slipped him a wink,
The baker of Kiel knew just what to think,
"Your agenda, my dear,
Is most perfectly clear,
You want my hot buns with your drink."


***

"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam (I will either find a way or make one)." -- Hannibal Barca
 
Posts: 1875 | Location: Georgia | Registered: July 19, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His diet consists of black
coffee, and sarcasm.
Picture of egregore
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There once was a very young Sioux
Who had a date with a maiden he knioux
Later it was found
That the couple had drowned
Paddling a leaky canioux.
 
Posts: 25566 | Location: Johnson City/Elizabethton, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
posted Hide Post
egregore -- outstanding! Never heard that one before.



Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you put your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket.

הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 26917 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Free men do not ask
permission to bear arms
Picture of George43
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I once knew a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said "what the Hell
I don't mind the smell
Just think of the money I save"


I once met a queer named Hume
Who took a Lesbian to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom


A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone.
The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots.
 
Posts: 3745 | Location: Spring, Texas | Registered: June 26, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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