courtesy of my old friend sniper03 on firearmstalk.com

*My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some immunity built up; but obviously there's a new strain out there.

*It’s not my age that bothers me; it’s the side effects.

*I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on trash day.

*As I watch this generation try and rewrite our
history, I'm sure of one thing: it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

*As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.

*I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

*If you find yourself feeling useless, remember it took 20 years, trillions of dollars, and four presidents to replace the Taliban with the Taliban.

*Turns out that being a "senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

*I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

*G*d promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round... and laughed and
laughed and laughed.

*I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

*I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

*My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

*Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.

*Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time", isn't the correct response.

*She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found mute by now.

*So you’ve been eating hot dogs and McChicken all your life, but you won’t take the vaccine because you don’t know what’s in it. Are you kidding me?

*Sometimes the Universe puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still as stupid as the first time.

*There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.

EXCELLENT!

Thanks,

RMD

Stolen! Thanks!

Pure Gold! Stolen. Many thanks for sharing1

Same here! Copied to my OneNote, I'm going to send then to my wife, one or two at a time!

"My level of sarcasm is directly proportional to your level of stupidity.”

The older I get, the less meaning a life sentence has. (First heard from V-tail.)

OH Yeah, that reminds me.

I'll watch my DVD of the excellent movie "Grumpy Old Men" and greatly enjoy it and laugh and giggle snort and guffaw through it

If you've not seen Grumpy Old Men, watch it!!!
.

quote:

*There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.

I've never seen my personality more succinctly described...

great start for the day/week/month!!!

Totally excellent. I have use for every single one of them.

quote:

Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
"My level of sarcasm is directly proportional to your level of stupidity.”

One of my favorite T-Shirts.

A guy I used to work with would always say:

"If I killed my wife the first time I thought about it, I'd be out of jail by now."

They have been married for 35+ years and are inseperable.