From Chemistry: Wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

From ice cream: Never put the spoon in the container. (Mostly, this applies to pints - but quarts, and even 3 gallon tubs are also perilous.)

This applies to almost any service:

Good, fast, or cheap, pick 2.

From the mortgage business:

1) Good loans stay good. Shaky loans get worse.

2) If you're willing to pay it, we're willing to charge it.

From the life insurance business:

1) If you're not rich when you retire, you won't be rich when your 75 or 80.

2) When you're dead, you don't know it. It's the people you leave behind who have to pay the bills.

Medicine, transplantation specifically: today is the first day of the rest of your suffering.

Not addressing the patients, but the staff.

From Banking: Old bankers don't retire, they yield to maturity.

Machining:

You can cut more off, you can't cut it back on.

Engineering

F=m*a and you cannot push a string

Drop features or extend the release date for projects that are late. A really shitty choice for IT directors.

Construction: Never enough time to do it right, plenty of time to do it twice.

It's only flat on the bottom.

Construction: you get what you inspect not what you expect

Oil & gas (probably other businesses too) under performing field tech: 40 cent guy in a $40,000 truck

Corporate America where your division is trying to get another division or contractor to do something and they're resisting: I'm pushing on a rope

quote:

Originally posted by Aglifter:
From Chemistry: Wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

From an oil & gas technician recently promoted to supervisor: I don't have to wash my hands before I pee anymore

IT World, too many to count but here are a couple of basic ones.

If it ain't broken it doesn't need fixing as in...
The best is enemy of the good.

Murphy rules!

Try restarting it.

It's always the user's fault.

0-0

Insurance and financial services: Not having a plan IS your plan.

construction business, " we are not building a piano"

From law enforcement:
“Some people will lie when the truth would sound better.”

From emergency management:
“Hope is not a method [or strategy].”

Surgery
When in doubt, cut it out.
Surgeons, often wrong but never in doubt.

IT System Administration: "Gui's make you weak"

Software Developers: "You guys start coding, I'll go see what they want..."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Dzozer,

Pilot:

"Keep the blue side up"
"Maintain Airspeed, Altitude and sense of Humor "
"I'm with the FAA and I'm here to help"

104

Project Management:

1. You can’t put nine women in a room and expect a baby in a month.

2. If “ifs” were fifths, we’d all be drunk.

Family law - tens don't marry twos.

Meaning that really good parents (tens) don't marry really crappy parents (twos).