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Wife is adopted and basically knows nothing about her birth parents. Over the past 2 years we managed to finally track down her birth mother and that went horribly.My wife was hoping to get some rest usually information to help with the search of her birth father but her birth mother claimed she remembered nothing. We’re thinking of trying a genealogist but we really don’t know what’s the best course of action for the next step. Anyone have any suggestions or experience in this field. ___________________________________________________________________________ When you argue with an idiot they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. ___________________________________________________________________________ | ||
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I suggest you first send her DNA to both Ancestry.com & 23 & me. You may possibly get hits on close relatives & make contact. __________________________________________________ If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit! Sigs Owned - A Bunch | |||
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Member |
https://www.23andme.com/ See the automatic family tree for $119. The point of these services is often hotly argued. Some say it is to log dna into a conspiracy database. Some say it is to provide drug creators with dna data to facilitate drug formulation. Regardless of your opinion, the service may help provide data for you. More importantly, I encourage counseling for those in pain about their origins. God loves us more than we can ever know or understand. Our origin and upbringing never overcome His boundless care and concern. Today He watches over us and hopes that we turn to Him to share our worries and struggles. His love will overcome our pain. ------- Trying to simplify my life... | |||
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| I Am The Walrus |
Might also try the social media routes starting with the mother. People are awfully reckless with leaving personal information and connections open for the public to see. _____________ | |||
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| Member |
Try Ancestry WITHOUT the DNA first. We were able to track down my BIL's entire birth family that way. It took time and patience, but they don't have the DNA, either. | |||
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| Lawyers, Guns and Money  |
I'm sorry to hear that... but that's not particularly uncommon. Remember, she gave up her daughter for a reason and may not welcome the reminder. Any sort of relationship may not be possible. "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." -- Justice Janice Rogers Brown "The United States government is the largest criminal enterprise on earth." -rduckwor | |||
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Optimistic Cynic |
What is the motivation here? Simple curiosity, or, perhaps, information on medical vulnerabilities or suchlike? If the former, ask yourselves the question, "is it worth the potential upset and conflict given that it is likely that there will still be uncertainties after all basic facts are known." If the latter, the DNA route may be appropriate, but still, there are no guarantees of accuracy or applicability. I understand that an adoptee might want to know about their genealogy, but shouldn't most of the honor go to the parents who took on the burden of raising you? And watch that DNA analysis, you might just find out that your dad was Fidel Castro!  | |||
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ My experience is that there is inevitable disappointment in finding the birth parents. Rememeber they probably do not want to be found. | |||
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| Just because you can, doesn't mean you should |
For those that know their birth parents, there's always the possibility that the father isn't the father. ___________________________ Avoid buying ChiCom/CCP products whenever possible. | |||
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| Member |
If your wife has a facebook account have her look up "Search Squad,"They will walk her through the process. Using DNA and other resources they helped me find my biological parents. I found out that genetically I'm a hippie. Eye opening to say the least... OZ | |||
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Fourth line skater |
My oldest son I adopted. My wife's firstborn from a previous marriage. Late in his teens, he started to think about finding his biological father. My wife said your father is sitting in the basement watching television. And, that was the end of that. There is a difference between biological and parent. My oldest is a part of my clan, and will carry on my family name. _________________________ OH, Bonnie McMurray! | |||
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| drop and give me 20 pushups |
Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs alone and some secrets kept secret... But if secrets are brought to life it will be impossible to put them back in the box. Best of luck for whichever way it goes. ................... drill sgt. | |||
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Honestly what drives her is the fact that she has no family her mother is any only child and choose to adopt because she wasn’t able to have kids. She was never married, so her mother is the only family she has. ___________________________________________________________________________ When you argue with an idiot they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. ___________________________________________________________________________ | |||
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| Member |
Thank you, we’ll definitely give this a try. ___________________________________________________________________________ When you argue with an idiot they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. ___________________________________________________________________________ | |||
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| The wicked flee when no man pursueth  |
My younger sister is adopted. She went through what your wife is probably going through. DNA search is the way to go if you want to identify biological family. ...but like some others here have already said, it's often opening Pandora's Box. There is typically a good reason they were put up for adoption in the first place. In my sister's case, Hollywood couldn't have done a better job of inventing a more chaotic group of grifters than her biological family. In her mid 20's she connected, almost got sucked in, and then had to actively try to distance herself (which she finally was able to do). Some rock's are better left unturned... Proverbs 28:1 | |||
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