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I'm Now Scared of my Chicken Login/Join 
Spread the Disease
Picture of flesheatingvirus
posted
Quick setup: We have 3 chickens for egg production. They have names because it was a requirement set by the kids. I named mine Nyx after the Greek goddess of the night. I was going to name her after a Lovecraft elder god, with the suffix "Destroyer of Worlds" at the end, but the kids had trouble with pronunciation.

So anyway...

I just witnessed the stuff of nightmares.

After finishing watering the greenhouse, I stepped outside and noticed my chicken (Nyx) messing with something and showing great enthusiasm. I walked over and found her battling a 7ish inch centipede.

Now, I'm not typically creeped out by bugs, but centipedes just happen to be the closest thing to a manifestation from the abyss that we have in the high desert. I watched in morbid fasination for a moment before I considered recording the battle with my phone, which I left in the greenhouse.

I ran inside to get it, but unfortunately arrived back to the field just in time to see the chicken swallow the still writing centipede whole like a goddamn spaghetti noodle. Eek

At first I was thinking, "Oh, shit. Is my chicken about to die a painful death from internally delivered centipede venom?" After a few moments, and no apparent ill effects, I determined that this was not the case.

Then my mind started to wonder...Dear GOD. I need to start being extra nice to this chicken or it will break down my door and murder me in my sleep.

Is my chicken part Chuck Norris?

What if, by some bizarre fuck-you from nature, I go to crack a nice, fresh egg into my skillet for breakfast, and a centipede falls out? Unlikely, I realized, but the mind goes to odd places when traumatized.

I knew I should have gotten the kids a cat.

:: shudders ::


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
 
Posts: 17779 | Location: New Mexico | Registered: October 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fire begets Fire
Picture of SIGnified
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Our chickens eat the wasp nests out of the coop if they can reach them. Tough animals… Immune to capsaicin by the way.





"Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty."
~Robert A. Heinlein
 
Posts: 26758 | Location: dughouse | Registered: February 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
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Like like grasshoppers too. Good thing...we've got a billion of them this year.


________________________________________________________
"Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton.
 
Posts: 21012 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Eye on the
Silver Lining
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The cat would kill centipedes, too. And bring a host of other presents to you. Love the chicken’s name, btw.


__________________________

"Trust, but verify."
 
Posts: 5575 | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Barbarian at the Gate
Picture of Belwolf
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Well, she's descended from velocorapters and such...

Clever girl.



“Posterity! You will never know how much it cost the present Generation to preserve your Freedom! I hope you will make good use of it. If you do not, I shall repent in Heaven, that I ever took half the Pains to preserve it.”
― John Adams

"Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows, or raining down on Charlie."
- Principal Skinner.


 
Posts: 4401 | Location: Thonotosassa, FL | Registered: February 02, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Spread the Disease
Picture of flesheatingvirus
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quote:
Originally posted by irreverent:
Love the chicken’s name, btw.


More than Cyäegha, The Destroying Eye, The Waiting Dark?? What about Gurathnaka, Shadow of the Night, Eater of Dreams??

I honestly still go back and forth at times.


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
 
Posts: 17779 | Location: New Mexico | Registered: October 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fighting the good fight
Picture of RogueJSK
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quote:
Originally posted by flesheatingvirus:
More than Cyäegha, The Destroying Eye, The Waiting Dark?? What about Gurathnaka, Shadow of the Night, Eater of Dreams??


"Gallīna Nyx, Devourer of the Many-Legged" sounds kinda like an eldritch deity.
 
Posts: 33466 | Location: Northwest Arkansas | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
7.62mm Crusader
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I came to understand when a hen named Hannah swallowed McDonalds french fries whole. They've no teeth. Even stranger was Hannah eating a chicken nugget under a picnic table.
 
Posts: 18018 | Location: The Bluegrass State! | Registered: December 23, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Baroque Bloke
Picture of Pipe Smoker
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My grandfather had a small farm across the road from our house when I was a little boy. He had a rooster that terrorised me. That bird was vicious.



Serious about crackers
 
Posts: 9701 | Location: San Diego | Registered: July 26, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Frangas non Flectes
Picture of P220 Smudge
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My grandfather kept chickens and ducks. I learned quickly that they can be mean little bastards. Chickens will chase you. Ducks will bite you. I stayed out of the coop.


quote:
Originally posted by SIGnified:
Immune to capsaicin by the way.


I believe that’s most birds, if I remember right. It’s one of the primary modes of chili plant propagation: birds eat the chilis and distribute the seeds far and wide. Pretty cool.


______________________________________________
“There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too.”
 
Posts: 17888 | Location: Sonoran Desert | Registered: February 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
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The Chickensaurus will be fine...




"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
 
Posts: 44720 | Location: ...... I am thrice divorced, and I live in a van DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! (in Arkansas) | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
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You say centipede and all I think of is the only ones I have ever seen, the giant desert centipede. So nasty and disgusting.
If your chicken ate that, it’s the Chuck Norris of chickens. Eat the eggs, don’t ever plan of making fried chicken out of her.




quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'd fly to Turks and Caicos with live ammo falling out of my pockets before getting within spitting distance of NJ with a firearm.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4527 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Spread the Disease
Picture of flesheatingvirus
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^^^ That was it. The one in question was only a hair smaller.


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
 
Posts: 17779 | Location: New Mexico | Registered: October 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Alea iacta est
Picture of Beancooker
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Oh hell no. That chicken is a badass. She will kill you if you bring up fried chicken in her presence.



quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
I'd fly to Turks and Caicos with live ammo falling out of my pockets before getting within spitting distance of NJ with a firearm.
The “lol” thread
 
Posts: 4527 | Location: Staring down at you with disdain, from the spooky mountaintop castle.  | Registered: November 20, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of sigcrazy7
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Don’t worry about the centipede in the egg. Worry that the egg was in the chicken’s ass. Literally.



Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. -Epictetus
 
Posts: 8292 | Location: Utah | Registered: December 18, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Savor the limelight
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When you find the carcass of your chicken with its chest burst open, that’s when you get scared.
 
Posts: 12016 | Location: SWFL | Registered: October 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of RichardC
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Don't let Nyx near a radiation source.
It would be bad.



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Posts: 16317 | Location: Florida | Registered: June 23, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Experienced Slacker
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Perhaps the most underappreciated creature on land...the chicken.
 
Posts: 7550 | Registered: May 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Spread the Disease
Picture of flesheatingvirus
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sigcrazy7:
Don’t worry about the centipede in the egg. Worry that the egg was in the chicken’s ass. Literally.


I wash them before consumption, though it was eye opening to see them being laid for the first time.

quote:
Originally posted by trapper189:
When you find the carcass of your chicken with its chest burst open, that’s when you get scared.


LMAO Big Grin


Eek


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
 
Posts: 17779 | Location: New Mexico | Registered: October 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by flesheatingvirus:
I wash them before consumption, though it was eye opening to see them being laid for the first time.

They won't stay fresh as long if you wash them. Not sure if you knew that. Wink

Yeah, it's kind of gross if you think about it. I just don't think about it. I'll leave mine out unrefrigerated for week and think nothing of it.


________________________________________________________
"Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton.
 
Posts: 21012 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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