So, this request is for myself in regards to my step-child.

I've been with my significant other for 7 years. Her divorce was rough (in progress when we met). And there was a post-decree argument which led to 15 months of court stuff.

In October 2016, the court awarded my significant other custody for most of the school year and a 50/50 split in the summers.

Per the new decree: NEITHER PARTY can move out of the Denver metro area. If one party wants to move to another state without the child, that party must notify the other "as soon as possible".

So, our current situation...

Biological dad had a weekend with the child. The child comes back and tells us that he has sold the "dinner table" and stuff in the child's room is packed in boxes. While there, she asks her dad's mom (paternal grandmom) why things are sold and packed, grandmom says that dad is moving but doesn't know where. Dad asks child "Does your mom know we are packing and moving?" and child answers "I don't know".

The NEXT visit with biological dad (Thursday night 3/2/17 due to school being out), we do a bit of online snooping and find:
1) Both dad's and dad's girlfriend AND grandmom's facebook profile go dark (blocked heavy, we can see any detail)
2) Find girlfriends LinkedIn that says "Moving to Ft Worth, looking for job, have retail experience", and we screenprinted it.
3) Later we discover girlfriend's LinkedIn disappears (more later) after first viewing (LinkedIn shows you who viewed your profile

Child comes back Friday and asks mom "Did you tell my dad that I told you about the boxes and selling stuff?"

"Why?" we ask. She continues "Girlfriend was looking at her phone, then talked to dad, then dad yelled at me".

Child continues "The landlord came over and asked when are they moving out, by Mar 10th?" and dad replied "A few days after".

NOTE: Dad's next weekend with child is Mar 10th.

So, we called our lawyer (late Friday), no response yet, and we are waiting.

We called the police to "discuss things", the policeman stuck to the "party line" that "we don't get involved, this is civil".

The cop was quite stand-offish. He even told us that we could NOT have the police enforce the custody agreement (we get child this day at this time, call the cops if he doesn't let her go, they can't "force" him to give her up).

I asked about kidnapping charges, he said it has to go thru Civil court AFTER he has taken her and that it's not criminal.

So, my questions are as follows (any advice is helpful beside "call your lawyer", as we are waiting for him now):

1) Is it illegal to move a child out of state if you are under a divorce decree / court order not to take the child out-of-state?

2) What CAN police / LE do if a child is not where they are supposed to be?

3) Based on the officer's comments, seemed like "its civil" is the typical response, so what advice does ANYONE have to locate the father/girlfriend in FT WORTH if they take off? Bounty Hunter? Private detective? Local PD?

4) There is a no contact order in place between father and mom (my significant other), can I follow dad on Friday to find out where he is?

Of course, we have his SSN and DL (but sometimes he works under-the-table). We have her name and past employers. We can possibly get her DL (via an incident report from previous issues that is redacted on our copy). We have grandmom's general info. We have a description of their only car with CO License.

Any assistance is appreciated!

James in Denver

PS I typed this fast, if there are typos or if anyone has questions, feel free to post.

The email in my profile is valid, direct replies are welcomed.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: James in Denver,

Do not stress about this until your lawyer calls you back. I know, easier said than done.

IANAL in your state. Some states have parental kidnapping statutes that criminalize a parent's willful failure to return a child. Sounds like you might not have one based on what the officer told you.

A civil court could issue a warrant for contempt of court if a parent violated the custody order.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but most of the responses in this thread will be speculation. You need to hear from your lawyer.

quote:

"as soon as possible"

Day?, Week?, Month? notice. If that is a direct quote from the order.

If everything is supposed to be a civil matter and the guy is leaving a few days after Mar 10th then don't let the daughter go on her visit next weekend. If he's leaving, he won't have time to go to court over it and then will be gone. IANAL. Or a parent.

quote:

Originally posted by Paten:
If everything is supposed to be a civil matter and the guy is leaving a few days after Mar 10th then don't let the daughter go on her visit next weekend. If he's leaving, he won't have time to go to court over it and then will be gone. IANAL. Or a parent.

This. You'll of course have an 'emergency' that takes ya'll out of the area that weekend and for a couple of days, sorry it was unavoidable.

If you don't already, get the kid a phone that you can track (but if they run with the kid they'll likely ditch it). As well as a couple of those "phone locator" type devices everyone uses. You can attached them to a bag, hide them inside, etc.

https://www.thetrackr.com

https://www.thetileapp.com

Most of them last for a year and will report location when near wifi / other participating devices.

Sew a couple in her bags, put one in her shoe, etc.

quote:

1) Both dad's and dad's girlfriend AND grandmom's facebook profile go dark (blocked heavy, we can see any detail)

I'm assuming you meant to say that you can NOT see any detail?

Personal opinion, you might get better insight from the police if you actually go to the station and talk to someone face-to-face, with your screenshots and additional info.

How old it the child?

Glad that you called your lawyer right away. I have to wonder what kind of legal pickle you are putting yourself in if you refuse to let her go on her regularly scheduled visit.

Scary stuff. Please keep us posted as you are able.

IANAL

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:

quote:

Originally posted by Paten:
If everything is supposed to be a civil matter and the guy is leaving a few days after Mar 10th then don't let the daughter go on her visit next weekend. If he's leaving, he won't have time to go to court over it and then will be gone. IANAL. Or a parent.

This. You'll of course have an 'emergency' that takes ya'll out of the area that weekend and for a couple of days, sorry it was unavoidable.

If you don't already, get the kid a phone that you can track (but if they run with the kid they'll likely ditch it). As well as a couple of those "phone locator" type devices everyone uses. You can attached them to a bag, hide them inside, etc.

https://www.thetrackr.com

https://www.thetileapp.com

Most of them last for a year and will report location when near wifi / other participating devices.

Sew a couple in her bags, put one in her shoe, etc.

Solid idea. Doesn't seem to work like you need though. trackr is close. tile, not at all. maybe hide a cell phone in a bag (stitch it in).

quote:

Originally posted by Paten:
If everything is supposed to be a civil matter and the guy is leaving a few days after Mar 10th then don't let the daughter go on her visit next weekend. If he's leaving, he won't have time to go to court over it and then will be gone. IANAL. Or a parent.

This. It's a civil matter, he can't call the cops on you and have you guys produce the child. Go away for the weekend, visit his grandma or whatever. Tell him last minute you guys completely forgot about the trip.

If he's moving he won't have time to file with court.

***Not a lawyer and I did not stay in a Holiday Inn Express.

Sounds like the cat is out of the bag, and they know it. Given that, do you see any harm in calling him and asking what his plans are given the language of the decree?

quote:

Originally posted by DaveL:
Sounds like the cat is out of the bag, and they know it. Given that, do you see any harm in calling him and asking what his plans are given the language of the decree?

That's actually a pretty freaking good question.

quote:

Originally posted by r0gue:

quote:

Originally posted by RHINOWSO:

quote:

Originally posted by Paten:
If everything is supposed to be a civil matter and the guy is leaving a few days after Mar 10th then don't let the daughter go on her visit next weekend. If he's leaving, he won't have time to go to court over it and then will be gone. IANAL. Or a parent.

This. You'll of course have an 'emergency' that takes ya'll out of the area that weekend and for a couple of days, sorry it was unavoidable.

If you don't already, get the kid a phone that you can track (but if they run with the kid they'll likely ditch it). As well as a couple of those "phone locator" type devices everyone uses. You can attached them to a bag, hide them inside, etc.

https://www.thetrackr.com

https://www.thetileapp.com

Most of them last for a year and will report location when near wifi / other participating devices.

Sew a couple in her bags, put one in her shoe, etc.

Solid idea. Doesn't seem to work like you need though. trackr is close. tile, not at all. maybe hide a cell phone in a bag (stitch it in).

Both trackr and tile will attempt to connect via bluetooth when any other users come in range - so yeah, it's not like real time tracking, but you'd imagine over a week or month, depending on how old the kid is, the device would connect to someone.

Tile - "Notify when found. If your item isn’t where you last had it, select “Notify When Found” in the app and when any device in the Tile community simply passes by your missing item, you’ll automatically be notified of its most recent location. This feature works 100% anonymously and automatically to protect your privacy."

Trackr - "Crowd Locate network - Lost something? TrackR's crowd-sourced network will help you find it. When another TrackR user is within Bluetooth range of your lost item, you will receive a location update"

Better than nothing - I'm sure there are other GPS type devices, I'll do some digging. I think a phone would be bad, as in 2 days it would be out of juice.

https://traxfamily.com/tracker-for-kids/

Not great battery life (2-3 days).

http://www.toptenreviews.com/e...s/best-gps-trackers/

It's also not too late to have a BBQ/pot luck dinner next weekend and invite 50 of your SF friends over for an open carry meet-N-greet .

Ask someone to bring a shot timer so we can compare par times.

Don't let the kid go.

If its unenforceable by the cops if he runs off with the kid- then it's also unenforceable by the cops if you keep the kid over moving weekend.

I am sure you are already thinking about this, but I hope that as all of this goes down over the next week, everyone remembers that there is a child involved.

She needs to be insulated from this as much as possible.

Have you checked on the health of your child recently.
They may be really sick, unable to go to school or do most anything for a couple of weeks.

It sucks but happens.

quote:

Originally posted by ulsterman:

quote:

"as soon as possible"

Day?, Week?, Month? notice. If that is a direct quote from the order.

Direct quote, was loose in the decree. That said, "as soon as possible" in a reasonable (i.e. judge/magistrate/jury) would not be the day of the move... you think?

quote:

Originally posted by DaveL:
Sounds like the cat is out of the bag, and they know it. Given that, do you see any harm in calling him and asking what his plans are given the language of the decree?

This is my recommendation right now without advice from lawyer. Decree/no contact says that each parent must respond within 48 hours. If she messages him (via court ordered communication website) and we don't get a response, then we have at least some justification for other actions.

Some of you have already mentioned possible actions, but because this is a public forum, I can't comment on things that we might consider.

Any other suggestions would be helpful.

BTW, we've thought of the tracker idea, but no where to guaranty it won't be left behind. Child has a cellphone but dad knows about it. No items go back and forth so no place to put one.

James

Anyone in DFW? Any suggestions on where to start IF it happens?

The officer's "party line" response is, unfortunately, likely correct and accurate. Two things we deal with regularly that are very frustrating are child custody issues, such as this, and "trespass"/eviction issues. Followed in a close third by merchant/customer issues.

quote:

No items go back and forth so no place to put one.

Shoes would be my recommendation. The kid doesn't have a backpack they use?

Definitely track the phone via some 3rd party app. Sure he may toss it, but it only gives you a place to start looking / evidence that he's up to something.

quote:

Anyone in DFW? Any suggestions on where to start IF it happens?

It's the size of Connecticut, and 140% of the population of the state of Colorado, so a big area to start. Sounds like you've got some idea the general area she's headed, and I think some of the suggestions here are going to help put your mind at ease anyway.

I agree that a call is in order, and would also go talk to the kid's school to make sure they know he is not, under any circumstances, to pick the kid up next week. Personally I'd avoid a bus route either if possible. And all of this without freaking her out. Tell them all the concerns and what to do/not do when their dad shows up won't stop him if he's that aggressive, and will only stress her more.

Good luck!